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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/28033278">All the Broken Pieces</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/charlessxaviers/pseuds/charlessxaviers'>charlessxaviers</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Series:</b></td><td>Fragile But Not Broken [1]</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Split (2016)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Angst, Attempted Rape/Non-Con, Childhood Trauma, Depression, Dissociative Identity Disorder, F/M, Fluff and Angst, Implied/Referenced Child Abuse, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, Smut</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>In-Progress</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-12-12</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2021-02-07</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-18 11:14:39</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Mature</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>8</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>41,603</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/28033278</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/charlessxaviers/pseuds/charlessxaviers</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>Sophie Fletcher and Kevin Crumb have been together for 7 months before they take the next step in their relationship. Before Sophie, Kevin has been unable to get close to anyone in fear they would judge him for his disorder. Sophie has done nothing but accept him for who he is and love him unconditionally.</p><p>In all the time that they’ve been together, Dennis has been suppressed and out of the light but what happens when he finally gets into the light and he’s determined to stay there, no matter how much Kevin and the other alters try to push him out. He is volatile and obsessive and just the alter Sophie feared would come out of Kevin.</p><p>This story is about Sophie meeting some of Kevin’s alters and also how her friends and family, including her aunt, Dr. Karen Fletcher, will react when they find out they’re getting married. Then when Dennis finds his way into the light, all bets are off. Sophie and Kevin’s relationship is in jeopardy.</p><p> </p><p>  <i>**Will try to post every other Saturday**</i></p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Kevin Wendell Crumb/Original Female Character(s), Kevin Wendell Crumb/Sophie Fletcher</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Series:</b></td><td>Fragile But Not Broken [1]</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Series URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/series/2061162</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>29</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>18</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>1. The Next Step</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>This starts before Split, back in January 2014, and before Kevin lost the light on September 18, 2014. Some of the chapters will be flashback chapters to when she met the other alters, others will be present in time to the storyline (aka 2014). There will be dates in each chapter so you won’t get confused. Also, Split and Glass aren’t going to take place in this story, this is basically an AU I guess. Kevin’s relationship with Sophie basically erases that from happening and the Beast will not be addressed in this story.</p><p>Also, I did some research about DID and I want to approach this story with having sympathy and great respect for the people with this disorder. I’m going to try to represent DID in as much of a positive light as I can. For people who don’t know that much about DID, they are often able to coexist with these alters in harmony. There’s usually not an alter who is violent or abusive. That being said, I don’t want to paint Dennis as the bad-guy, but I’m just playing off of his characteristics in the movie and amplifying them a bit. This is purely for entertainment purposes and I will respect DID as a disorder as much as I can. </p><p>I don’t want to offend anyone with this disorder so if there are things that are incorrect, please, please tell me nicely and I will address it. All I ask is that you don’t send hate or call me stupid or something like that (which has happened before when I’ve been misinformed). I greatly appreciate feedback if you’d like to leave some!</p><p>Given that this is my imaginary work of how Kevin would act and his personality will act, I might not get his characters 100% spot on. I try to make them as true to the characters we see in the movie and this is how I imagine they would react in certain situations. Oftentimes with some of the other characters, I’m left to fill in the blanks on their personality, so they may be different than you may have imagined.</p><p>As for story warnings, this mentions trauma, depression, child abuse, this will contain smut. Warnings will be in the author's notes of each chapter so you won’t be surprised when things happen.</p><p>Thank you and I hope you like it! I put a lot of work into this one and I feel really good about it!</p>
    </blockquote><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>On their 7-month anniversary, Kevin plans to take his and Sophie’s relationship to the next level.</p>
          </blockquote><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Date: January 8, 2014 (present to the story)<br/>Word count: 2.3k<br/>Chapter warnings: slight teasing, sexual themes/hints at smut.</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    
<p></p><div class="center">
  <p>
    <b>Chapter One</b><br/>
<i>The Next Step</i>
  </p>
</div><i>
  <br/>
  <b>January 8, 2014</b>
  <br/>
</i><p>“Kevin? I’m home…” I said as I walked into my apartment. It was our 7 month anniversary and I had a meeting at school, otherwise, I would have gotten more dressed up than just a pair of sneakers, jeans, and a t-shirt. Kevin told me he had a surprise planned for me and asked if he could use my apartment for it. Of course, I didn’t say ‘no’, and I was curious as to what this surprise was. He usually didn’t do surprises.</p><p>The lights were off in the living area, but they were on in the kitchen and dining room. I flipped the lights on so I could see where I was going and so I could put my shoes in the right place.</p><p>“Kevin…” I asked curiously after not hearing him reply. I walked towards the kitchen, the scent of delicious chicken evading my senses.</p><p>To get to the kitchen, I walked past the dining room and smiled when I saw the table was set for two with candles lit. There were flowers in the center of the table in a vase - daisies to be exact. They were my favorite flower and they smell so nice. I couldn’t help but smell them as I walked by, sighing happily. Then I noticed Kevin in the kitchen with my silly apron that said ‘kiss the cook’ and what looked like a plate of chicken parmesan in his hand.</p><p>“You got here just in time, love.” he smiled as he brought the plate to the table. He sounded like my Kevin. I'm not going to lie, I was a little surprised. At first, I wondered if maybe it was Patricia, she’s a wonderful cook. Kevin isn’t the best and he usually burns everything, so he lets Patricia do the cooking, so the fact that it was Kevin that was cooking and it smelt so good was a bit shocking.</p><p>“Nice apron. ‘Kiss the cook’, don’t mind if I do…” I kissed his cheek as he walked over. It was a quick peck on the off chance it had been Patricia and I didn’t realize. I’ve accidentally kissed her thinking it was Kevin and she was appalled. </p><p>“I also made your favorite pecan green beans… I think I may deserve a bit more than a kiss on the cheek,” he smirked at me as he put the plate of chicken on the table. I giggled and leaned in, kissing his lips lightly. </p><p>“Better?” I mumbled, pulling away only slightly.</p><p>“I think you could do a little better…” he chuckled, smirking at me. </p><p>I smiled and leaned in again, kissing his lips a little harder than before. He immediately moved his hands to my waist and I grabbed onto the back of his neck as the kiss got more heated. His tongue ran against my bottom lip and I opened my mouth without hesitation, allowing him to slide his tongue in. His tongue swirled around mine while I pressed my body against his. The only thing that stopped us was the ‘ding’ from the timer he must have had on for the green beans.</p><p>We pulled away and he gave me an apologetic look. “Perfect timing,” I mumbled, laughing to myself as I watched him walk away. More specifically, his ass. <i>Hey, we’ve been together for 7 months, I’m allowed to check him out.</i></p><p>I noticed he was wearing a nice pair of nice jeans and what looked like a button-down shirt. I saw the buttons sticking out from where the apron cut off at the top. I looked down at what I was wearing and suddenly felt insecure. My jeans were worn out and my t-shirt was oversized and I looked like I was lounging around on a Sunday morning.</p><p>“I’m going to settle in and change really quick. I’ll be right back.” I called into the kitchen. I heard him reply with an ‘alright’ before I left and changed into something more appropriate.</p><p>I put on a casual dress. It was a fit-and-flare with a halter top, the skirt part was burgundy and the top was black. It was all backless and it showed off my shoulders, which was apparently one of Kevin’s favorite parts of my body. </p><p>I remember the first time I wore this dress when we were meeting my parents for dinner and it was his first time meeting them. I was finishing up my makeup and he came up behind me and kissed my shoulder and said it was his favorite dress on me. I couldn’t help but smile every time I wore it. Since it was our 7 month anniversary, I figured it was the perfect time to wear it for him. </p><p>I remembered the present I got for him that I had in my closet and got it. It was wrapped in blue wrapping paper with a gold bow. I thought that Hedwig might like the bow I picked and possibly tape it to his wall or something, and well, <i>etcetera.</i></p><p>Without wasting any more time, I went back out to the dining room to see Kevin pouring red wine into a wine glass and putting it beside his full plate. The other one was already poured and in front of my plate that had the chicken and green beans on it.</p><p>Kevin looked at me and smiled when he saw the dress I was wearing. I couldn’t help but smile at the way his eyes lit up when he saw me. “My favorite dress.” </p><p>“Just for you, baby.” I smiled as I walked over and kissed his cheek, adjusting the collar to his button-down shirt. I couldn’t help it and I knew he didn’t mind. I put his gift on the empty spot on the table.</p><p>“What’s this?”</p><p>“Your gift, silly. Happy 7-months baby.” I smiled as I sat across from him.</p><p>“You really didn’t have to, babe. I know money’s tight and-”</p><p>“Just hush and open it, okay? I’ve been saving for this.” I urged with a smile. Kevin shrugged and gave in, opening it. His eyes widened when he saw the watch in the velvet box. I know, how original, right? Getting a man a watch. But he said he needed a new watch and it’s stylish but also waterproof so he could wear it at work. It’s by no means a Rolex, but he seemed to like it all the same. “You like it?”</p><p>“Like it? I love it, it’s perfect.” he smiled, taking it out and putting it on. He looked at it, admiring it on his wrist with a big grin. “Absolutely perfect.” I smiled at him, my stomach bubbling with excitement because he actually did like it like I hoped he would. “I have your present, but you’re going to have to wait until dessert to get it.” </p><p>“Ooo, that sounds… kinky,” I said bluntly as I laughed. Knowing Kevin, it probably wasn’t. He’s not all that kinky and just talking about sex makes him blush. </p><p>“It’s-” he started. I could see his cheeks burning already. “-not… but I am hoping to get an extra serving of dessert after the cheesecake… and by extra serving I mean you.” he said with a small wink. That was his way of talking dirty and although it was a bit awkward in delivery, it still managed to get a tingle out of me.</p><p>“Oooh, well then I’ll have to be a good girl and patient. I want my second helping of dessert too.” I winked as I took a sip of wine. I could tell he got a little flustered and I smiled. “So this looks delicious. Do I have De Bartoli’s or Patricia to thank for this?” I asked as I started to cut into the chicken. De Bartoli’s was our favorite Italian restaurant that we frequently ordered delivery from.</p><p>“Actually, it was all me…” he admitted. I raised my brows as I looked at him, a little shocked. “I know, I’m surprised too. Patricia gave me a couple of tips and we actually haven’t tried it yet so it could be terrible.” he chuckled.</p><p>“Well, we’ll see.” I took a bite at the same time he did and we both let out a surprised sigh. “Wow, that is… really good.”</p><p>“Not too bad. I’ll have to thank Patricia for the tips.” Kevin chuckled.</p><p>“Paprika?” I raised my brows as I took another bite. He chuckled and nodded. Patricia was obsessed with the spice paprika, she puts it in just about everything.</p><p>We continued eating and talking for the rest of the dinner about a variety of things, like how my meeting at school went, how school was going, how work was going, and also a bit of gossip about some coworkers. </p><p>One peculiar thing was that I could tell that he was a little nervous throughout the night. I reached over to grab his hand and it was a bit sweaty, which told me he was nervous. But I was so wrapped up in our conversations that it slipped my mind easily. He was always a little bit nervous in general and anxious a lot, so I chalked it up to that. </p><p>When we finished dinner, he cleared the plates and kissed my forehead on his way to get the dessert. I couldn’t help but smile. I was on cloud nine and having a great night with him. There were no interruptions by his other alters (hopefully I don’t jinx it) and we were laughing and talking and this was my escape from the busy week. I wouldn’t want my 7-month anniversary with him to go any other way.</p><p>He placed the plate with a slice of cheesecake on it in front of me. It looked delicious; it had a strawberry drizzle and two strawberries on either side of the slice.</p><p>“You can thank De Bartoli’s for this. I wouldn’t even think about attempting to cook a cheesecake.” he said as he sat across from me.</p><p>“Bake, honey,” I couldn’t help but laugh as he looked up at me, confusion written all over his face. “You bake a cheesecake.” </p><p>“Right, that.” he blushed. </p><p>I smiled and took a bite as I sighed at the taste. “Oh god. Major foodgasm.” I sighed happily.</p><p>“I hope you’re looking forward to the orgasm I’m going to be giving you tonight,” Kevin smirked at me. I swallowed quickly and my eyes widened as I looked at him. He’s never been that straightforward before. I honestly didn’t know he had it in him. I must be rubbing off on him.</p><p>“Just one?” I raised my brows with a smirk. I know I was pushing my luck, but I wanted to see how far he’d go since he seemed to be feeling bold tonight.</p><p>“How about 7. One for each month we’ve been together,” he smirked back. I raised my brows and smirked. Now that I was not expecting.</p><p>“Is this really Kevin? Or did Barry sneak his way in?” I joked, raising my brows.</p><p>“It’s all me… was that too much to say?” he asked, immediately getting insecure. Yeah, it was definitely Kevin.</p><p>“No not at all, baby. It’s really hot actually,” I said, reaching my foot out to caress his leg lightly. He looked at me and smiled, relaxing a bit. “I think it’s only fair that I make you cum 6 times then…” I casually mentioned with a shrug.</p><p>I looked at him as I slowly put the fork into my mouth and sucked the cheesecake off slowly. His eyes widened as I smirked. Not going to lie, it was nice to see him squirm a bit. He told me once that he enjoys being teased too, otherwise, I wouldn’t do it. </p><p>“If anyone could make it happen, it’s you.” he finally said. I smirked and nodded as I put my fork into the cheesecake again, but it hit something I wasn’t expecting.</p><p>I pulled a confused face. “Kevin, there’s something in the cheesecake.” I started to dig it out and noticed a sliver of shiny metal showing. I squinted my brows and dug it out, noticing that it was a ring. An engagement ring to be exact. It was silver with a pear-shaped diamond in the middle with a halo of tiny diamonds surrounding it. It was absolutely beautiful. My eyes widened as I looked at Kevin, noticing he was now beside me, leaning on one knee. “Kevin…” I said in disbelief as I pulled the ring and held it out in front of me.</p><p>“Sophie Alice Fletcher… I-I know we haven’t been together for all that long, but I know that I want to be with you for the rest of my life. You accept me for who I am. You’re so incredibly loving and patient with me and I don’t want to let you slip away. I love you. More than anything. Will you please marry me?”</p><p>I felt tears slipping down my face as I nodded. “Yes, Kevin. I will marry you!” I exclaimed. He let out a sigh and took the ring from me, wiping it off before sliding it on my finger.</p><p>“Thank god.” he finally said as he stood up and cupped my face, kissing me passionately. I kissed back and when he pulled away, I looked down at the ring. So many things were rushing through my mind. Sure, we’ve only been together for 7 months and I know he had the tendency to be a little impulsive but this felt right to me. </p><p>I was worried about what my family and friends might say, but I pushed all of that aside. This was about me and Kevin right now. And Kevin made me extremely happy and I wanted nothing more than to become Mrs. Crumb. I knew exactly what that entailed. It wasn’t just Kevin I was making a life-long commitment to and I think I’m ready to do this.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0002"><h2>2. Barry</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>After a year of pining, Kevin finally asks Sophie out, but little does she know, he needs a push from Barry to do so. When the coffee date finally arrives, Kevin is too anxious to go himself, so Barry steps in. This is when Sophie met Barry, except she didn’t even realize it was him.</p>
          </blockquote><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Date: July 4th &amp; 8th 2013 (flashback)<br/>Word count: 4.6k<br/>Chapter warnings: none<br/>Author’s Note: As you can probably tell, I changed the title. As I write this ahead of time I realized that the title ‘Fragile But Not Broken’ fits better for the series because I’m pretty sure there will be more than one part to this. I hope that doesn’t confuse anyone!</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    
<p></p><div class="center">
  <p> <b>Chapter Two</b><br/><i>Barry</i></p>
</div><p>I met Kevin Crumb two years ago when I was 22. I worked at the Philadelphia Zoo part-time while going to the University of Pennsylvania. For the first 6 months, I worked in guest relations, so our paths rarely crossed, if ever. I didn’t even know his name and I was pretty sure he didn’t know mine.</p>
<p>I was formally introduced to him when I got promoted to zookeeper for the penguins. He was a maintenance worker and would often come to check on how things were doing with the aviary and penguin habitat. He caught my eye from the very beginning and I felt a sudden attraction to him and I had no idea why. He was like a magnet was pulling me in.</p>
<p>However, I was fresh out of a 2-year relationship with someone I thought I was going to be with for the rest of my life. He was two years older than me, we met in my first year of college when he was a teacher’s assistant for my Psychology class and we just hit it off. We were both psychology majors and I thought our brains worked the same way. He was always a tad judgemental over things and a little bit possessive, but not to the point where it was a total issue. I just accepted him with his flaws and all that because that’s what you do when you love someone. The reason it didn’t work out was because when we talked about our future, he said he didn't want to get married for another 10 years and didn’t want kids at all. </p>
<p>After that, all of those little flaws and things that bothered me about him became more prominent and I just couldn’t see myself with someone like that. I wanted to have a family and get married, maybe not right away, but eventually, that was the goal. He was more career-oriented than me and it just didn’t work out in the end. I broke up with him, knowing it was the best thing for us. </p>
<p>Sharing 2 years with someone and then breaking up is tough. I was used to having someone to turn to for everything (well, things that he wouldn’t be judgemental about) and since I didn’t have that, I had my own way of dealing with being alone for the first time in a couple of years. That was with alcohol, the bar, and sex. </p>
<p>As a psychology major, I am well aware of how counterproductive that was and thankfully it was only a stage lasting 3 months because then I met Kevin. We barely spoke, but he made me want to stop that lifestyle immediately and I couldn’t quite put my finger on why.</p>
<p>Unlike him, I was a people person, so I talked to basically everyone who I crossed paths with. I lived for small talk, much to most people's dismay. I loved getting to know people. I don’t really know why but I just did. Maybe it distracted me from my own problems by getting to know others?</p>
<p>Anyway, I tried to talk to Kevin but he was guarded and had his walls up from the very beginning. I was like that as a kid and I had experience with people like this, so little by little, I chipped away at that exterior and I didn’t give up on talking to him. I could tell part of him liked when I asked him how his day was going or when I tried to bring him into a conversation I was having with coworkers, he’d always smile. It was small and barely noticeable, but I saw it. </p>
<p>I think I was the only one who found him charming. He was painfully awkward but I thought it was kind of cute, it only made him more attractive in my eyes. Not to mention his baby blues, I could honestly stare into those ocean eyes all day… not that I’d admit it. Especially to Miles, my friend, coworker, penguin enthusiast, and fellow zookeeper, who took it upon himself to call me out on my crush one day, but thankfully it was just the two of us and the penguins in earshot (or so I thought).<br/>
<i><br/>
“You do know he’s like… 9 years older than you, right? That’s kind of weird.” Miles mentioned one day when we went out to clean the penguin habitat and we saw Kevin replacing the lights in the habitat and my glance must have lingered a tad too long.</i></p>
<p>
  <i>“He doesn’t look that old. Besides, there’s nothing wrong with looking.” I retorted, tightening my overalls before kneeling down on the rocks. The overalls that we used to clean the habitat and to protect us from getting wet were definitely a sight. We looked so sexy, I was surprised Kevin didn’t drop his pants for me right then and there. </i>
</p>
<p>
  <i>“It always starts with looking, then the pining, then the sex dreams…” </i>
</p>
<p>
  <i>I pulled a face and looked at Miles in disgust. “Sex dreams? Yeah, not going to happen. I’m not a hornball, like you.” I scoffed, throwing a sponge at him as I knelt on the ground, dipped my sponge into the bucket with the cleaning solution, and started to scrub the rocks of the habitat. </i>
</p>
<p>
  <i>“I mean, he is kinda cute if you squint with one eye closed and tilt your head to the right.” he joked as he did the motions.</i>
</p>
<p>
  <i>“Miles, I know you’re a straight man and now you’re just mocking me. Get down here and clean before I shove you into the water.”</i>
</p>
<p>
  <i>“No thanks, it’s frigid. My balls might fall off.” he laughed as he knelt down and dipped the sponge into the bucket and started to scrub. </i>
</p>
<p>
  <i>“I’d pay to see that,” I mumbled under my breath with a smirk as I continued scrubbing the penguin shit off of the rocks. Being a zookeeper is a glorious job. Thank god for elbow-length gloves.</i>
</p>
<p>
  <i>“Careful, I might just tell Crumb Cake you have a crush on him,” Miles warned. I shot him a look and didn’t even comment further on account I was worried he’d actually tell <b>Kevin</b> that I was crushing. That would be embarrassing.</i>
</p>
<p>I was pining over Kevin for a whole year. I tried to ask him out subtly, but it never worked. I didn’t even ask him out like on a proper date or anything. If a few of our coworkers were going out, I’d always invite him along, but he’d respectfully decline. Miles and my best friend Maisie (who also worked at the zoo, but I’ve known since I was 10) thought it was pathetic how much I was putting myself out there and he didn’t bite, not even a little. They said I should give up because obviously, he didn’t care. </p>
<p>After a while, I thought they were right and I was being silly for pining all this time without any interest being received back. So I decided to give up. Then, to my surprise, he asked me out on the fourth of July at the firework celebration at the zoo. All of the workers at the zoo were there, along with some zoo-goers who paid to get in.</p>
<p>
  <i>“Shit, that one was amazing!” Miles exclaimed as the sky lit up in an array of colors. It was beautiful. </i>
</p>
<p>
  <i>Although, I could do without the loud bangs that accompanied them. Not to be a baby, but it did frighten me just a bit. I kept my fingers in my ears and jumped and winced a bit every time the ‘pop’ and ‘bang’ came. </i>
</p>
<p>
  <i>I’d been doing this for the first 15 minutes of the show before I felt a tap on my shoulder. I turned around and saw someone holding out those noise-canceling headphones toward me. I looked up and saw that it was Kevin. I didn’t realize that my reactions were so noticeable that he picked up on them. Maybe he overheard me when I had told Maisie that the ‘bang’ always scared me earlier that night? I didn’t even know that he was here honestly. I usually noticed him for some reason.</i>
</p>
<p>
  <i>I smiled at him as a thank you and took them from him. I noticed the small smile and nod he gave me as I put them on. It was so much better. Now I could watch without cringing each time the sky lit up in a beautiful array of colors. I got lost in the show, which lasted for another 40 minutes. Then when people started clearing out, I looked behind me and frowned when I didn’t see Kevin. </i>
</p>
<p>
  <i>I scanned the area and noticed him standing by the elephant statue. My eyes lit up when I saw him and I walked over to him, taking the headphones off.</i>
</p>
<p>
  <i>“Thank you, that helped a lot!” I announced loudly, not realizing that I was practically yelling at him because my hearing apparently didn’t process that I no longer had the headphones on. </i>
</p>
<p>
  <i>To my surprise, he chuckled as he took the headphones back. I couldn’t help but smile at that, especially when I saw the smile that crossed his face. “Anytime. I’m glad it helped,” he replied. His voice was a little looser and high-pitched than it usually was. I also noticed his stance was more relaxed than usual but I thought maybe it was because we weren’t working?</i>
</p>
<p>
  <i>“The show was great this year… I remember coming here as a child and I don’t remember it being as good as it was this year.” I mentioned to make conversation, hoping he would bite a little bit this time. </i>
</p>
<p>
  <i>“Yeah, I’ve been working here for 9 years and this is the best year yet I can honestly say.” he praised with a tinge of excitement in his voice. I smiled and opened my mouth to say something, but he cut in quickly. “You drink coffee or tea, right? I see you come in with one from Cafe Bliss when you have early shifts…” he hesitated. “Not that I was stalking you, I just kinda noticed…” </i>
</p>
<p>
  <i>I smiled and nodded. “No, yeah, I didn’t think you were. I love coffee.”</i>
</p>
<p>
  <i>“Would you be interested in getting some on Sunday?” he proposed. My mouth hung open slightly, completely shocked that he was asking me out. After all this time, when I had finally given up. When I realized my mouth was hung open, I quickly closed it and nodded, playing it cool.</i>
</p>
<p>
  <i>“Yeah, that’d be great.” I smiled.</i>
</p>
<p>
  <i>“Cafe Bliss, 11am?” </i>
</p>
<p>
  <i>I nodded and smiled. “Sounds perfect.”</i>
</p>
<p>And just like that, it was official. I was officially going on a date with the infamous Kevin Crumb, suck it, Miles and Maisie.</p>
<p>Well, at least I thought it was Kevin. Little did I know, Barry was in the light. He was trying to act as Kevin would, which he was good at because he’s done it before. However, Barry will always be more flamboyant and charismatic than Kevin was and that always found a way to shine through. </p>
<p>He sure fooled me. I wouldn’t have noticed a difference unless if I knew him well enough. Looking back on it now, I would have been able to sniff Barry out in a second, but that’s because I’ve known Kevin and most of his alters for over 5 months now. </p>
<p>
  <i>I was nervous about my date with Kevin. Should I even call it that? Maybe he viewed it as two friends getting coffee… we never did specify if it was a date. Therefore, I couldn’t jump to conclusions. However, I was still nervous as hell. I hadn’t been out on a date (or anything remotely similar with a new person aside from my friends) since I was with Wyatt. That was nearly a year ago. I took myself off the market after Wyatt, aside from the few drink-induced hookups that I mentioned earlier. None of them were boyfriend or girlfriend material. </i>
</p>
<p>
  <i>Is Kevin even boyfriend material? I mean, I barely know him, so I can’t be sure. I talked myself into being more relaxed with that mindset. Just friends getting coffee. No pressure. If it turned out to be more, then great. If not, then we could still hopefully be friends. </i>
</p>
<p>
  <i>I settled for wearing a long-sleeve floral romper. It was a little more girly than I’m used to, but I wanted to look cute. Usually, I’d opt for shorts and a crop top for a casual Sunday morning in July, but I didn’t want to risk being too revealing… I know I care way too much about what other people think. It’s a habit I’ve gotten into. I just like to make sure everyone is happy, you can’t really blame me for that.</i>
</p>
<p>
  <i>I took the bus to the coffee shop and it let me off across the street. I saw Kevin waiting outside and crossed the street to meet him. He saw me and I could have sworn I saw his eyes light up and the corners of his mouth turn into a grin before he pursed his lips and gave me a more relaxed smile.</i>
</p>
<p>
  <i>“Hey Kevin.” I smiled as I approached him. Then there was that awkward moment of ‘Do I hug him? Just smile? Shake his hand?’. He answered that question for me when he wrapped his arms around me.</i>
</p>
<p>
  <i>“Hi Sophie. That romper looks gorgeous on you, so in fashion for summer,” he commented matter-of-factly as he pulled away and smiled at me. I smiled as I looked down at it.</i>
</p>
<p>
  <i>“Thanks! It actually has pockets which are really convenient.” I gushed, sticking my hands in the pockets to show him. Normally, I’d just accept the comment and go inside because men usually aren’t up for discussing fashion. Most men don’t even know what a romper is, they just think it’s a dress with shorts. </i>
</p>
<p>
  <i>“Even better! Don’t get me started on women’s fashion and lack of pockets, especially in jeans.” he scoffed as he rolled his eyes. He opened the door for me and we walked in. </i>
</p>
<p>
  <i>“I know right? It’s actually really annoying…” I agreed with him. He nodded in agreement as we got on the line to order. “I didn’t know you knew about fashion…” I thought out loud.</i>
</p>
<p>
  <i>“I love fashion. I actually think more men should be involved with it without feeling like it’s frowned upon or something. The standard of gender roles in today’s society is sad. But I won’t bore you with that…” he contended as he got up to the counter. It seemed like he was checking himself for what he said and deciding against it… I didn’t realize why then but now I know it’s because Barry was trying to act more like Kevin. “I’ll have a large iced french vanilla coffee with an extra pump of vanilla, nonfat milk, and half ice, please,” he told the barista, then looked. “What would you like, love? It’s on me.” </i>
</p>
<p>
  <i>“Medium iced caramel macchiato and a double shot,” I asked the barista, who nodded and went to work. I looked back at Kevin. “Are you sure you want to pay for it? I’m totally fine paying for my own…” I reached into my crossbody bag to get my wallet.</i>
</p>
<p>
  <i>“Not at all. It’s on me.” he objected, shaking his head and holding out his credit card to give to the barista.</i>
</p>
<p>
  <i>“Well, I guess I’ll have to pay you back then,” I suggested. I wasn’t really used to guys paying for my stuff unless it was a date and I wasn’t sure if this was one, but that made it seem like it was.</i>
</p>
<p>
  <i>“Nonsense. I already feel blessed to be in your presence, call that paying me back, beautiful,” he replied. I couldn’t help but giggle and blush as I looked down just from him calling me beautiful. My stomach got butterflies and my mind screamed ‘he just called you beautiful!’ and it brought me back to high school when my crush, Liam Turner, finally asked me out. Even though I was really excited on the inside, I played it cool on the outside.</i>
</p>
<p>
  <i>“So you’ve been working at the zoo for 9 years, you said?” I asked when the barista gave us our coffees and we found a place to sit.</i>
</p>
<p>
  <i>“Oh yeah, it’s been exactly 9 years since last month. You’ve been there for, what? A year and a half, right?” he guessed, sitting down and crossing his legs as he leaned back in the chair, then when he realized how he was sitting, he quickly uncrossed his legs and sat up straighter and less relaxed than he had been before. I thought it was a little odd at first, but I wondered if maybe he was just nervous. I didn’t pay much attention to it then because I was a little caught off-guard that he knew how long I’d been working there. </i>
</p>
<p>
  <i>“Yeah, it’ll be exactly a year and a half next month… how did you know?” I inquired curiously, swirling my straw around and mixing up the coffee, scraping the caramel off of the bottom that always seemed to get stuck there no matter who made it.</i>
</p>
<p>
  <i>“You told me a year ago… the first day you started working with the penguins. You gushed about being promoted from guest services to zookeeper in just 6 months. Miles poked fun at you because it took him a year to be promoted and said it was just because you slept your way to the top. I know he was kidding though, of course… you’re just incredibly charming and I’m not surprised they offered you a promotion so soon.” he replied simply, taking a sip of his coffee.</i>
</p>
<p>
  <i>“Oh, right. I didn’t even remember that, I’m surprised you did.” I chuckled as I took a sip of my coffee. “I didn’t even realize you listened if I’m honest,” I admitted honestly, without realizing how rude that may have sounded. I opened my mouth to defend myself and clarify, but he cut in.</i>
</p>
<p>
  <i>“I’m sorry if I seemed standoffish. When I’m at work I like to focus on the job and don’t like distractions. I’m sorry if I seemed uninterested. Honestly, I remember basically everything you said and I appreciate all the times you talked to me, even if it didn’t seem like it. I’ve been thinking about asking you out for a while, but I was just too nervous.” he confessed, looking down at his coffee.</i>
</p>
<p>
  <i>“Why were you nervous?” I asked curiously. I was so surprised to hear him admit that. I had other questions, but I just started with the one.</i>
</p>
<p>
  <i>“I wasn’t sure if you liked me or not… I’m not used to people going out of their way to talk to me. Especially a girl as pretty as you.” he admitted honestly. </i>
</p>
<p>
  <i>I blushed and looked down a little bit. “You think I’m pretty?” I asked, a little shocked, but mostly flattered.</i>
</p>
<p>
  <i>“You’re gorgeous,” he assured me sincerely as he looked at me. I couldn’t help but blush more. “Besides, I heard Miles say that I’m 9 years older than you and I didn’t want you to think I was a creep. You act older than you are. You’re mature for your age.” he commented and smiled. “Then I heard you tell your friend - that girl with the pink hair, well, it was purple at that time, but I digress… you told her that you thought I was cute and I thought that maybe I had a chance. So then I asked you out… it just took me 2 months to do it.”</i>
</p>
<p>
  <i>“Ah, so you listen to my conversations? That’s a bit creepy…” I said jokingly as I took a sip of coffee. I know people overhear things sometimes, especially at the zoo. They’re all a bunch of gossips. Heck, I’m surprised it took Kevin this long to figure out I was crushing on him.</i>
</p>
<p>
  <i>“Not as creepy as handlebar mustache Jim.” he retorted with a small smirk.</i>
</p>
<p>
  <i>“Right! He follows all the young girls around and he’s like… 50 or something. I can’t believe they haven’t canned him. He’s not even that good at his job. There’s always garbage overflowing in the aviary.” I rolled my eyes as I thought about handlebar mustache Jim. The sanitation worker. Or the trash man as me, Maisie, and Miles call him.</i>
</p>
<p>
  <i>“Unfortunately, you don’t get canned for being a creep. You only get canned when you’re caught doing something bad. He may be creepy, but he’s never done anything bad, thank heavens.” Kevin sighed. </i>
</p>
<p>
  <i>I nodded in agreement, then thought of the list of questions I had thought about earlier of things I wanted to know about him. “So what do you do besides maintenance?”</i>
</p>
<p>
  <i>“I do loads of things. I like designing clothing…” he hesitated and now I realize that’s because Barry momentarily forgot he was supposed to be acting as Kevin. “But only sketches. I draw other things too. I like tinkering with things, taking things apart and putting them back together. I also recently got into writing, poems, and stuff. It’s not that good if I’m honest.” he revealed in true Kevin nature. Barry never doubted himself, but Kevin did frequently and he was supposed to be Kevin, so it fits perfectly.</i>
</p>
<p>
  <i>“Writing is fun. I do a little creative writing here and there. I used to write fanfiction when I was a teenager, but I didn’t tell you that.” I admitted and laughed as I took a sip of my coffee.</i>
</p>
<p>
  <i>“No way. What did you write for?”</i>
</p>
<p>
  <i>I sighed, instantly regretting admitting that. “Ahhh, well, mostly psychological thrillers like Criminal Minds and NCIS. It was all terrible. Pretty sure I spelled “head” as “h-a-i-d” at one point. I didn’t believe that editing should be a thing and my grammar was horrific. Mr. Whalen, my English teacher in high school, would not be proud.” I laughed as I shook my head, still embarrassed that I admitted this about myself so quickly. I remember when I told Wyatt I wrote fanfiction, he looked at me like I have 5 heads.</i>
</p>
<p>
  <i>“Ohh, sounds thrilling. I don’t really get into shows like that, sometimes they’re a bit disturbing. I prefer RuPaul’s Drag Race or something along those lines…” he faltered and cleared his throat and stiffened a bit. “Only when I’m really bored, it’s pretty fun. I mainly stick to comedies like Modern Family or That 70s Show. Keep the mood light, you know?” </i>
</p>
<p>
  <i>“Yeah, I totally get that. I’m a huge fan of psychological thrillers. It’s why I’m actually studying psychology. Well, a dual major in Psychology and Gender, Sexuality &amp; Women’s Studies.” </i>
</p>
<p>
  <i>“No kidding, so you’re like a huge feminist then? Me too. Women are far more superior than men, I don’t care what those evolutionists say.” he declared. </i>
</p>
<p>
  <i>I chuckled. “I like the way you think, Kevin.” I smiled as I sipped on my coffee.</i>
</p>
<p>
  <i>“What made you want to get into psychology and women’s studies? They don’t typically seem like they go together in a dual major.”</i>
</p>
<p>
  <i>“No, they don’t usually. I’m the only person in the history of the school to have them as a dual major, actually… but my mom’s a women’s studies teacher at the university and I always loved the stuff she would tell me, so I took her class and fell in love. For psychology, my aunt is a psychotherapist and we would watch Criminal Minds and all of those psychological thrillers together as I was growing up and it’s just so interesting to me. The mind works in mysterious ways and is capable of things we haven’t even imagined. Especially when you add in things like trauma and PTSD and stuff like that. It’s fascinating.”</i>
</p>
<p>
  <i>“Oh, so you’re into the abnormal stuff? Like disorders and what not?” he asked curiously.</i>
</p>
<p>
  <i>“Yeah, I’m thinking I either want to be a women’s studies professor like my mom or a psychologist like my aunt. I have about a year left of school before I have to decide, so I’m hoping I’ll have my shit figured out by then.” I laughed.</i>
</p>
<p>
  <i>“You’re young. You have your whole life ahead of you. Heck, you could do both if you wanted.” he pointed out.</i>
</p>
<p>
  <i>“Good point.” I smiled as I heard a phone go off and I figured it was his when he reached into his back pocket.</i>
</p>
<p>
  <i>“It’s work, I have to take this.” </i>
</p>
<p>
  <i>“Go ahead,” I replied as I leaned back in my chair and sipped on my coffee. I wasn’t annoyed or anything, his job was important and I’d hate for him to miss something important because of me. I took a second to look around the crowded coffee shop. I didn’t even notice how many people were here because I was so wrapped up in my conversation with Kevin. </i>
</p>
<p>
  <i>“Sophie,” he acknowledged me, catching my attention and I looked over at him. “I’d hate to cut this short, but I have to get to work. Plumbing issue and the bathroom is flooded.” he gave me an apologetic look.</i>
</p>
<p>
  <i>“Oh, no worries at all. I guess I’ll see you around work? I work again on Thursday...” I mentioned, hoping he would suggest meeting up again or ask for my number or something. I really enjoyed my conversation with him and I definitely wanted to see him again. I hoped he felt the same way about me.</i>
</p>
<p>
  <i>“If I could get your number we could grab some dinner before then?” he asked with a smile. </i>
</p>
<p>
  <i>My eyes lit up. “Sure, of course! I’ll put it in your phone.” I offered. He nodded and he handed it to me. I put my information in his phone and texted myself from his phone so I’d have his number. “There we go.” I handed his phone back.</i>
</p>
<p>
  <i>“Perfect,” he said as we stood up. “It was nice to talk with you, Sophie and I’ll make this up to you, I promise.” he hugged me quickly and I smiled.</i>
</p>
<p>
  <i>“It was great to talk to you too and it’s fine, really.”</i>
</p>
<p>
  <i>“I’ll text you later,” he promised and I nodded as we said our goodbyes. I let out a small sigh as I thought about how the date went and smiled, pretty satisfied. I really like him and I hope he likes me too.</i>
</p>
<p>So that’s how I met Barry without even realizing it. Kevin was co-conscious when Barry and I went out, which meant that Kevin knew exactly what was going on and remembered everything we talked about as if it were him and not Barry. (Something Kevin later explained to me when I knew about his disorder).</p>
<p>When Kevin and I went to dinner Tuesday, it was actually Kevin. I could tell something was different and he acted a little bit different and more nervous than he did when we got coffee. I chalked it up to it being a different environment and seeming more like a date than coffee did. It wasn’t a noticeable difference that it felt like I was talking to a completely different person. Barry made sure of that when we first met. </p>
<p>I thank Barry all the time for being in the light when he finally asked me out and on our first date because, without him, Kevin would have never gotten the nerve to go out with me. And that’s why Barry is one of my closest friends now. He is a miracle worker and I have him to thank for being where I am with Kevin today. Kevin thanks him too. Barry is his primary protector, he’s just playing the role that he was born to play.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0003"><h2>3. Announcing the Engagement: Sophie’s Friends & Family</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Sophie tells her family and friends about the engagement and all of them have something to say. Her aunt Karen, who has sympathy for Kevin, has her worries and expresses them to Sophie.</p>
          </blockquote><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p><b></b><br/><i>Date: Mid January 2014 (present to the story)</i><br/>Word count: 5.2k<br/>Chapter warnings: mentions of trauma and past child abuse, emotional abuse, sexual themes/mentions of smut</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    
<p></p><div class="center">
  <p>
    <b>Chapter Three</b><br/>
<i>Announcing the Engagement: Sophie’s Friends &amp; Family</i>
  </p>
</div>The next morning, I woke up slowly and the first thing I did was smile when I thought about the previous night and I looked down at the silver ring on my left ring finger. I barely had time to reminisce about how… insane the sex was last night when I heard a gasp.<p>“Oh honey, you’re finally awake!” I heard Barry say as he walked out of the walk-in closet. If I couldn’t already tell it was Barry by the tone of his voice, his outfit certainly would have given it away. </p><p>I sat up, clutching the sheets and holding them against my chest, knowing that I was naked underneath them and the last thing I wanted to do was flash Barry. Even though he’d totally say ‘honey, I’ve seen it all’ because, well, he has. Perks of dating someone with DID… maybe? I looked at the clock. <i>11:03 am.</i> “Shit, it’s late,” I mumbled, sleep still evident in my voice. I didn’t have anything to do until later, so sleeping in late for once was actually nice. I’m usually up before 8 every day.</p><p>“You and Kevin were going at it like dogs until like 3 am, what did you expect?” Barry gushed. I thought about last night and smirked. I was definitely feeling the reminisce of last night just by sitting up. </p><p>
  <i>Walking is going to be fun. </i>
</p><p>“Anyway, let me see it!” he exclaimed as he quickly sat on the edge of the bed next to me and grabbed my left hand. He gasped when he saw it. “Oh! It looks even more gorgeous on your finger than in the box. Do you love it?” he asked, his eyes lighting up.</p><p>“Yeah, I love it so much. It’s perfect.” I smiled as I looked down at it. “Did you pick it out?”</p><p>“No, Kevin did it all on his own. He does things on his own a lot more now, especially when it comes to you. You push him out of his comfort zone and make him a more confident man, something we all appreciate, so thank you, Sophie. I’m glad he opened up to you.” he smiled sincerely. </p><p>“I’m glad you asked me out in the first place.” </p><p>“Me too. I know Kevin is too. I mean, the sex is mindblowing.” he marveled dramatically.</p><p>I chuckled and rolled my eyes. “I’m glad the sex is the thing that gets you.”</p><p>“It beats the lotion and tube sock, that’s for sure.”</p><p>“Gross,” I said, pulling a face of disgust at the thought of it.</p><p>Barry laughed. “I bet it beats that vibrator in the top drawer of your nightstand,” he smirked. I raised my brows, wondering how he knew that, but didn’t dwell on it and I nodded in agreement as he went on. “I already have some sketches for your dress. Oh, this is so exciting! You’re going to look gorgeous.” </p><p>“That’s nice of you, Barry. Thank you so much.” I smiled.</p><p>“Anytime, my love,” he answered, squeezing my hand gently.</p><p>“Do any of the others know?” I asked curiously. I really wanted to know what the others would think about this. Some of them were iffy about our relationship in the first place including the ones I haven’t met and I was worried by us not meeting yet and wondered if it was because they don’t like me or something. He has 23 alters locked away in his brain and I’ve met barely 10 of them and some of them I only met for a few minutes. I didn’t want to push him about meeting them, of course, so I let them come out when they felt comfortable enough to. Of course, I want them all to like me and I wanted to know all of them, but I couldn’t force a friendship on any of them just because I’m dating the host.</p><p>“Nope, just me. That’s because I was co-conscious for the proposal and getting the ring like I always am. Kevin asked to keep it a secret for now.”</p><p>“Oh, okay,” I said, my voice falling slightly. I don’t know why it did. Maybe it was just because I was nervous about it?</p><p>“He’s going to tell them eventually. He just wants to let it sink in for a couple of days,” he explained.</p><p>“Yeah, that makes sense.” I nodded, understanding what he meant. I don’t blame Kevin. Having all 23 of them inside his head, all having something different to say, it might get overwhelming for him. I still never quite understood exactly what it was like to be a alter inside of him. Barry described it as being in a white room with chairs with all of them, but also there’s a whole other world that goes on in there. Like for example, I know that Patricia reads Hedwig a story every night and Hedwig tells me stories that have happened while he’s been out of the light. I don’t know if I’ll ever fully understand what goes on, but I try to.</p><p>“Okay, I’ll get Kevin for your morning-after treat!” he boasted as he stood up.</p><p>“Ooo, morning-after treat? What does that entail?” my eyes lit up as I smiled.</p><p>“Eating you out like you’re his last meal, honey.” he declared so bluntly.</p><p>My eyes widened at his forwardness. “Barry!” Although I don’t know why I was so surprised, Barry is always forward.</p><p>“What? You’ll enjoy it, I promise.” he winked as he walked towards the closet. </p><p>I assumed he went into the closet to change into clothes that Kevin would be more comfortable in, seeing as I was going to get him this morning. Thank god I had a walk-in closet, I don’t think I’d be able to fit clothes for his alters if I didn’t.</p><p>I rolled my eyes at Barry’s comment and chuckled as I bit my bottom lip. I was definitely looking forward to my morning-after treat, that’s for sure. Then I looked down at my ring again and sighed happily as I tried to let it sink in again that I was engaged to the man of my dreams and the man that I love. Then it dawned on me that I’d have to tell everyone. My eyes widened a little bit at that thought, but then Kevin walked out of the closet and distracted me for the rest of the morning.</p>
<p></p><div class="center">
  <p>✸✸✸</p>
</div>Around 2, I had plans to meet up with Maisie and Miles and I decided I’d tell them then because I didn’t want to hide anything from them. That and I was so excited, I wanted to scream it from the rooftop. Kevin brought me back down to earth though and asked me not to share it on social media and I respected his wishes. I wouldn’t want to share it until after I spoke to my friends and family, anyway. Also, Kevin is so closed off and doesn’t even have social media, I don’t know how he’d feel about me sharing the news on there anyway, which I totally understand. We barely post pictures of ourselves on my Facebook.<p>My friends and family always have their comments about that, though. Maisie is convinced he’s living another life or is like an escaped convict or something which is why he has no socials anywhere, but Maisie’s mind goes to the most elaborate ideas ever. Miles has said ‘Is a relationship even real if you don’t post about it on FB?’ and my mom just says she wants updates on the relationship and she’d love to see pictures of us together, so sometimes, when we take a cute selfie or have our picture taken, I’ll send it to her with Kevin’s approval, of course. </p><p>I met Maisie at her apartment, which was a few blocks away from mine, so I just walked. There wasn’t much need for a car in Philly, especially when I got an apartment a bus ride away from the zoo and the university. </p><p>“Hey, let me get my coat,” she said as she let me in. I nodded and walked inside. It took her all of three seconds to notice my ring. “What the fuck is that?!” she exclaimed as she looked at the engagement ring on my finger. I wasn’t surprised she saw it so soon.</p><p>“Actually, it’s what I came to talk to you about…” </p><p>“No fucking way,” she exclaimed, roughly grabbing my hand as she inspected the ring. “That’s a nice rock, I’m surprised he could afford it. You think he runs a secret drug ring down in the basement of the zoo?”</p><p>“No, Maisie.” I rolled my eyes and pulled my hand away from her. I know she’s kidding, but I’m still annoyed that she said that. She rarely has anything good to say about Kevin, but she always roasts everyone, including herself, so it’s just a thing about her I’ve gotten used to. “And that’s rude.”</p><p>“It’s just a joke clearly… but how the hell did he afford it? It’s a good point.” she pointed out. I raised my brows. </p><p>“He’s good with his money, for the most part, he has some savings I’d assume. They pay him well since he’s been there for so long.” I explained. Maisie nodded, seeming satisfied enough with my answer and also bored that it wasn’t a fun answer.</p><p>“Anyway, it’s nice but like, how are you going to marry him? How do you even know it’ll be him when you walk down the aisle? Can’t he like not control it?”</p><p>“Barry controls who gets the light and when… for the most part… except Hedwig can come and go as he pleases.” I clarified. </p><p>Normally, I wasn’t so open about this but Maisie knew basically everything as of a couple of months ago. I ended up telling her after my parents found out because I needed someone to talk about my father’s reaction. Of course, I asked Kevin for permission to tell Maisie and he was hesitant at first, but let me tell her. She’s not allowed to ask him invasive questions about it when we’re together, that’s the deal and so far, she’s stuck to it.</p><p>“Has he ever like… come into the light, or whatever you call it, when you’re fucking?” Maisie asked curiously as she grabbed her coat.</p><p>“Hedwig?” I asked, pulling a face of disgust, hoping that’s not who she was talking about. Maisie nodded. “No, thank god. That would be terrible. He’s only nine.”</p><p>“Yeah, that would be gross...” she agreed as she put her coat on and grabbed her bag. I could tell she still didn’t fully understand the concept of DID. No matter how many times I explained it, she still made jokes out of it. That’s just her personality though, so I didn’t take it too personally. She got quiet as we headed out of the apartment and I was worried about what questions her magnificent little brain would come up with. “Have you kissed him?”</p><p>"Hedwig?" I clarified, Maisie nodded. “Accidentally,” I admitted hesitantly.</p><p>“Was it good?” I could tell she was joking but she said it so seriously.</p><p>“What? No, Maisie! He’s nine, it was like kissing a dead fish.” I snapped, a little bothered that she’d even ask me that, even if it was a joke.</p><p>Maisie laughed and moved on from that topic, which I was thankful for, but I wished she picked a different topic to talk about. “Well, I’m excited for you but it is a little fast… are you sure it’s not just him being impulsive? You said he can be sometimes.”</p><p>I sighed, I should have seen this coming. The doubt. There’s no doubt in my mind that everyone will have their doubt about the engagement and it sucks honestly. Can’t she just be happy for me without projecting unneeded doubt into my head? “Even if he was being impulsive, I want this and so does he.”</p><p>“Aren’t you worried he just proposed because you told him you wanted to be married sooner rather than later?”</p><p>“Why are you being so negative about this? This is supposed to be exciting and your reaction is upsetting, like what the fuck. Just be happy for me and don’t question everything, okay? I’m happy. He’s happy. That’s all that matters.” I groaned, getting fed up with her negativity and jokes. This was about Kevin and me, not her.</p><p>“If you say so. Let’s get boba and meet Miles,” she said, locking her door behind us. I sighed and nodded. Well, that went kind of how I expected in all honesty. </p><p>Miles’ reaction will be fun I bet. He doesn’t know about Kevin’s disorder, but he’s always been in support of us, even with the 9-year age gap that he always reminds me about even though it’s not even that big of a deal as long as we’re both adults, which we clearly are.</p><p>
  <i>“No fucking way. Can I wear a mariachi costume to the wedding?” Miles asked when I told him.</i>
</p><p>
  <i>I laughed. “We’ll see what Kevin says.” </i>
</p><p>His reaction was more pleasant than Maisie’s. Now I have to tell my parents over dinner tonight and my dad is what I’m worried about the most. He’s also not fond of our age gap (even though he and my mom are 11 years apart) or Kevin’s disorder, which he only found out about when Kevin and I went over for Thanksgiving and Hedwig came into the light when we started talking about our trip to Disney World when I was younger. I swear, he finds the most inopportune moments to come into the light. </p><p>That was about 3 months ago before I even told Maisie about Kevin’s disorder. My parents were shocked, needless to say. My dad was hit by it the hardest and demanded I break up with him the next day over the phone (like that was going to happen). </p><p>Regardless, I think he was trying to find anything about Kevin to say he wasn’t right for me before he even found out Kevin had DID, first it was our age gap, then the fact that he’s a maintenance worker at a zoo that didn’t go to college, I know he’ll find anything to criticize Kevin about. He just loved Wyatt and that’s the problem. He’ll never accept the fact that I broke up with Wyatt and that it didn’t work out with us and now I’m with a man that I love. The fact that I love Kevin and I feel like he is genuinely the one isn’t going to be enough for my dad, so you can see why I’m nervous.</p>
<p></p><div class="center">
  <p>✸✸✸</p>
</div>“I have something exciting to tell you…” I began as I walked into the dining room where my dad was just getting seated and my mom was walking with me. My dad looked up at me, concerned with my announcement. My mom looked more excited than he did. “Well, Kevin and I are getting married. He just proposed to me last night.” I gushed, holding out my hand with a smile. I just wanted to get it out as soon as possible, rip the bandaid off.<p>“Oh, that’s gorgeous!” my mom beamed as she took my hand and looked at the ring. “I’m so-”</p><p>“You can’t be serious.” my father declared firmly, shaking his head in disbelief. </p><p>“William-” my mom tried to level with him.</p><p>“No, Sher,” he interjected, shaking his head again as he looked at me. “Sophie, I thought I raised you smarter than this. How could you be so naive and stupid?”</p><p>I looked up at him, a bit shocked. Sure, I was expecting some backlash, but not like this. “What do you mean?” All I could think about was the fact that the only thing he raised me to do was to be scared of the back of his hand, cigarette burns, and when he drank alcohol.</p><p>“When I first learned he had this delusion, I thought it was crazy. You and Karen both have sympathy for people like that but the reality is that he’s sick. He’s crazy, Sophie.” </p><p>“No, he’s not dad. I know him well enough-” I started to say, but he cut me off.</p><p>“You’ve known him for 7 months. That’s barely enough time to get to know someone.” he professed rigidly. It became clear that he wasn’t going to budge on this. I was getting nowhere with him, but I still felt the need to defend myself and Kevin and our relationship.</p><p>“I feel like I’ve known him for much longer-”</p><p>“This is ridiculous. I will not support you marrying someone like that. It’s not up to you to take care of him and I’ll be damned if my daughter will live the rest of her life with a man so delusional and insane as he is.” </p><p>“Okay, fine. Don’t support me. You won’t get an invitation to the wedding then.” I said, tears brimming my eyes as I quickly turned around and headed to the front door. The last thing I was going to do was sit here and be belittled by him.</p><p>“I wouldn’t have come even if I got one.” he spat.</p><p>Honestly, it felt like a stab to the heart. I felt tears begin to stream down my face. All I wanted was the approval of my father, no matter what he put me through as a child. No matter how much I tried to fight it, a little girl just wants to do right by her father. </p><p>“Soph…” My mom soothed as she came up behind me and rubbed my back gently and comfortingly. I turned around and immediately wrapped my arms around her and cried into her shoulder. She cooed and rubbed my back soothingly. “It’s okay, sweet angel. He’ll come around. I’m so happy for you.”</p><p>“Why are you still with him? After everything he’s done? How did you forgive him?” I asked, pulling away as I wiped my tears with my sleeve. It was something I’ve always wanted to ask. After all the years of physical and emotional abuse… my mom is the strongest woman I know. She’s left him but always ended up going back to him and I had no idea why. </p><p>“Because regardless of what he’s done in the past, he’s changed. He wanted to change and get better and he did. He’s still not perfect but he's working on himself daily and I have faith in him and I love him, just as you love Kevin, regardless of his flaws.” she explained, rubbing my shoulder. </p><p>“Yeah.” I doubted, looking down at my feet.</p><p>“Your father loves you, Sophie. He just doesn’t show it the way he should.” she coaxed, rubbing the few tears from my eyes with her thumb. “You didn’t deserve what he did to you. He’s trying to make it better. He’s just trying to protect you.”</p><p>I nodded and all I said was: “Okay.” because I doubted that on so many levels.</p><p>“I love you, honey. Don’t forget that.”</p><p>“Never. I love you too.” I gave her a half-smile as I hugged her tight and left. So much for dinner. That went even worse than I thought it would.</p><p>Hopefully aunt Karen will be more receptive than my father, I was sure she would be. I was planning on getting lunch with her tomorrow, but I called her as I walked down the street towards the bus and asked if dinner tonight would work. She gladly accepted and told me to come over because she was already making a couple of chicken pot pies and hers are absolutely delicious.</p>
<p></p><div class="center">
  <p>✸✸✸</p>
</div>“Are you going to tell me about the ring on your finger or are you casually going to wave your hand around until I mention it?” aunt Karen asked with a small smirk as she took a sip of her tea. We were still waiting for the chicken pot pies to be finished and I didn’t tell her right when I walked in as I had with my parents because I was nervous. I knew aunt Karen would never be mean to me like my father just was, but I was still anxious about it regardless.<p>“Oh, right… well, Kevin and I are engaged.” I smiled, showing her the ring. </p><p>“I’m not going to lie, I am a bit shocked,” she admitted, taking my hand in hers and looking at the ring. “It’s a beautiful ring.”</p><p>“He didn’t tell you? I thought he might have mentioned it...” </p><p>“I honestly thought he would have mentioned something like this too, so you see why I’m shocked,” she said honestly as she let go of my hand.</p><p>“I mean, Kevin said he didn’t tell anyone and the only one who knew was Barry, who he swore to secrecy. He was just nervous about it, I would have been to… I mean it’s only been 7 months…” I hesitated, the words of my father still burned in my mind and they were making me doubt myself even though I knew they shouldn’t.</p><p>“Are you having doubts?” she asked. </p><p>I shook my head quickly. “No, not at all. I feel… this feels right, you know? I’m just worried about some of the other alters…”</p><p>“What do you mean?” she raised her brows curiously. I could tell she was just trying to get me to open up and continue on my thoughts. She probably had her own about what I meant, having gotten to know Barry and some of the alters, but she didn’t want to assume. </p><p>“I mean, I spoke with Barry yesterday morning and he was ecstatic.” I smiled, thinking about how genuine his reaction was. “Jade will probably be happy, I’m unsure about Patricia and Hedwig, but I worry the most about Hedwig because he has a crush on me because I accidentally kissed him once.”</p><p>“Oh my… how did you manage that?” she asked, surprised.</p><p>“He just came into the light out of nowhere right when my lips touched his. I knew something was wrong because he gasped and pulled away and said ‘Holy shit you just kissed me! Does that mean you like me? You might be pregnant now.’ I told him that’s not how it works, which led him to ask me how someone gets pregnant and I told him to ask Patricia.”</p><p>“Best to let her tell him. But since he has a crush on you then you’ll have to make sure you approach telling him about you and Kevin with much care. Remember, he’s only nine and he's grown to like you a lot, and he may feel betrayed at first.”</p><p>“Yeah, that’s what I was thinking. I’ll talk to Kevin and see what he says about how we should approach it. Barry said he was the only one of the alters that knew, because he’s usually always co-conscious with Kevin. Hedwig usually doesn’t have co-consciousness. He kind of just pops in at random times or when he’s triggered.”</p><p>My aunt nodded and sipped her tea, but remained quiet. I could tell that wasn’t normal for her, usually, she always had something to say unless she didn’t want to offend someone. </p><p>“Is there something bothering you? Like, be brutally honest with me aunt Karen. What do you think about the engagement? Do you think it’s a bad idea?” I figured if anyone will be honest with me, it’s her and I’ll actually respect her honesty, unlike my father’s honesty.</p><p>“Well, it’s a bit of a shock, like I said earlier. You are great for Kevin and you’re compassionate and caring and everything he needs, it’s just…” she hesitated, looking away from me.</p><p>“Just what?” I asked, a little more snappy than I intended.</p><p>“Do you think you know about all of his trauma and his triggers?” she asked, looking up at me.</p><p>“I mean, I’m still figuring out triggers as I go along, they just kind of pop up here and there. Barry feels safe enough to tell me Kevin’s trauma when Kevin doesn’t feel comfortable with it.”</p><p>“That’s good.” she pondered, her lips pursed together.</p><p>“You still don’t seem very convinced?” I asked, a little frustrated as to why she wasn’t being straightforward with me like I’d hoped she would be.</p><p>“I just ask that… you sit down and have an open and honest conversation with him. About his childhood and also about all of his alters, especially the ones you haven’t met yet.” </p><p>“What about his alters?” I raised my brows, confused. She knew something I didn’t know. Or at least she thought she did.</p><p>“Have you met all of them?”</p><p>“Not all of them. I just wait until they feel comfortable enough to come out in front of me but Barry has told me a bit about the ones I haven’t met…” </p><p>“Do they all like you?”</p><p>“For the most part, yes. I mean I hope so. The only one I think might not is Orwell, but I think that’s because I fell asleep when he was talking about ancient Mesopotamia or something. I also don’t understand what the German one says so for all I know he could be talking shit about me to my face…” I said, chuckling softly at the thought of it.</p><p>“And you like what they’re about? All of them? Do any of them cause you any conflict?” now she was going into therapist mode and I could tell.</p><p>“No…” I hesitated as I thought about what she could mean. “Wait… are you saying that there’s some that I might not know and Barry mislead me about any of them? I don’t think… I don’t think he would do that.”</p><p>“I just think that you have to be careful, this is a very complicated disorder with a lot of moving parts. These alters were born because they needed to provide a certain function for Kevin when Kevin was unable to perform the function himself. You’ve done a great job at managing and helping him up until this point and I believe he is doing better than he’s ever been. You just have to be careful.” she explained, but didn’t elaborate further. </p><p>I raised my brows, not really understanding what she was getting at here. “Be careful about what? You’re confusing me.”</p><p>“You know I can’t divulge information about him because he’s my patient.”</p><p>“Yeah but if you think I’m in danger, don’t you need to tell me?” I don’t know why I thought of that… I didn’t think I was in danger at all, but the way she was speaking to me… I didn’t understand what she was trying to say.</p><p>“I don’t think you’re in danger, Sophie. Look, I’m going to level with you,” she said, sitting forward in her seat more. “I’m worried about Kevin in all of this. Not because of his disorder but because he is fragile. If something were to happen, not saying it will, but if you decide to leave him for some reason, any reason, it could break him. He cares for you deeply.”</p><p>“He may be fragile but he's not broken and I won’t be the person to break him. I will never do anything to hurt him, aunt Karen. I love him.”</p><p>“I know you won’t, Sophie. Just be careful,” she warned. </p><p>“I will.” I nodded, knowing she wasn’t able to elaborate further on what she meant. I just decided to take it as it was. I wasn’t going to get any more answers out of her, so I’d just have to ask Kevin or Barry, gently, of course.</p><p>“Now, let me see that ring again, it’s beautiful.” she held her hand out for mine and I smiled, holding it out for her.</p>
<p></p><div class="center">
  <p>✸✸✸</p>
</div>I didn’t see Kevin that night or the next day because he stayed at the zoo because he had work early the next morning. Plus, I had classes all day, so needless to say it was a long day for both of us. We were at my apartment and ordered take out. We had just finished eating and Kevin went to get us drinks from my kitchen when I sat on the couch and turned on the TV.<p>“So, how’d it go telling everyone?” Kevin asked, handing me a glass of wine before sitting on the couch next to me and he drank his glass of water. He rarely drank, Barry gets wine drunk enough for the both of them. I settled on ‘Modern Family’ since I knew he liked that and took the wine glass, taking a sip.</p><p>“It went well, for the most part. Maisie made her jokes, but that I was expecting, but supportive nonetheless. Miles was super supportive and so was my mom, so that’s great.” I replied, taking another sip of my wine. I didn’t want to even go into what my dad thought, but I knew he was going to ask anyway and I didn’t blame him.</p><p>“And your dad?” Kevin raised his brows, I think he could tell I was avoiding it.</p><p>“Well… you know my father always has something to say,” I complained with a shrug.</p><p>Kevin’s face fell. “Did he hurt you?” </p><p>“No honey, not physically anyway,” I assured him, grabbing his hand. He always worried about that since I opened up to him about my childhood trauma and how my dad was an emotionally and physically abusive alcoholic. Not to mention he witnessed my father's relapse in drinking on Thanksgiving and well, that didn't end well at all.</p><p>“I am so sorry. I know he doesn’t really like me and I wish I could change that…” </p><p>“Hey, no, baby. It’s fine. He’s just a hard man to please.” I assured him, rubbing his back gently. There was honestly nothing he could do. My father was dead-set on hating him before he even met him.</p><p>“And your aunt?” he asked. I could tell he was most concerned about her reaction out of everyone.</p><p>“She’s happy for us, just a little shocked because Barry didn’t even mention it to her.”</p><p>“He didn’t? Huh. I’m surprised, I thought he was going to let it slip to you because I’ve had it planned for a little over a month.”</p><p>“You did?” I raised my brows with a smile. Kevin nodded as he took a sip of his water. “Well, I’m not surprised honestly. He’s loyal to you, Kevin. He does whatever he can to protect you.” I smiled as I rubbed his shoulder gently. </p><p>“Yeah, he does. I’m pretty lucky.” he nodded, directing his attention back to the TV and chuckling softly at what was going on.</p><p>I smiled at him as my thoughts went back to the talk I had with my aunt. Her words of ‘be careful’ rang in my mind. “Babe…” I began, without thinking about it first. I didn’t even know exactly what I was going to address because there was a lot to unpack with everything she said to me, but I had to figure it out fast because Kevin looked at me with his brows raised. “When are you going to tell the others?”</p><p>“Oh, uh… soon.” he hesitated, shifting uncomfortably.</p><p>“Are you worried about telling them?” I asked after picking up his body language.</p><p>“No… I mean, not really,” he looked down at his hands and sighed. “I want it to be about us right now. I’m so happy, Sophie. You make me so happy.” he confessed, reaching out and putting his hand on my thigh.</p><p>I smiled. “You make me so happy too.” I leaned in and kissed his lips lightly. He kissed back gently before I pulled away and rested my head on his shoulder. I looked down at my hand and admired the silver ring on my finger. I couldn’t believe this was happening. I’m getting married to the man I love. I’m going to spend forever with him. </p><p>I just can’t help but worry about what the alters are going to say, and judging by Kevin’s body language before… I think he is too.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0004"><h2>4. Hedwig</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Hedwig comes to the light at the most inopportune moment and Sophie is baffled because she had no idea Kevin suffered from DID until Hedwig came into the light.</p>
          </blockquote><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Date: August 9th 2013 (flashback)<br/>Word count: 3.7k<br/>Chapter warnings: brief make-out session, fluff</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    
<p></p><div class="center">
  <p>
    <b>Chapter Four</b><br/>
<i>Hedwig</i>
  </p>
</div><p>The first day I met Hedwig was the day I found out that Kevin had Dissociative Identity Disorder. I’m a Psych major and my aunt Karen works specifically with patients that have DID, so I know a little bit about it and that’s what helped me wrap my head around the whole thing. If I didn’t know what it was, I’m sure I would have had him out of my apartment the second the 9-year-old boy took the light. I would have been scared shitless, I mean, who wouldn’t have been? The man I was seeing turned into a completely different person right in front of my eyes. Nothing could have ever prepared me for when it did actually happen.</p><p>
  <i>It was a month into us dating and I invited him over to watch a movie. I may have had other intentions aside from just watching a movie with him. The most exciting thing that’s happened between us physically was a kiss on the cheek and even that was brief and a bit awkward. I wanted more… I was ready for more and I hoped he was too. </i>
</p><p>
  <i>I was pretty sure we were on the same page. He said he liked me a lot and I told him I liked him too and we both called the past few times we hung out as ‘dates’, so it was only a matter of time before we finally kissed. I wasn’t expecting a make-out session, since I could tell he wanted to take it slow. This was painfully slow for me. At this rate, just a peck on the lips would suffice for me. It would be a test of whether or not it would work physically with us or if we should just remain friends.</i>
</p><p>
  <i>The whole first half of the movie I was trying to drop hints and signals that I wanted a kiss, but he wasn’t seeming to pick any of them up. I moved closer to him, rested my head on his shoulder, put my hand on his knee because he was bouncing it because of anxiety that I knew he had. At one point, I even took his hand and put his arm over my shoulders so I could get closer to him. </i>
</p><p>
  <i>He didn’t seem to mind and he smiled as if he were grateful that I did it. That’s when he started to relax more. I put my head on his shoulder and we leaned into each other and it just felt… right. Like we were drawn to each other and that physical touch that I was yearning for was what we needed to relax.</i>
</p><p>
  <i>By this time, my mind was off the movie and I was starting to get bored with it. I mean, I did want him to come over so we could be more physical than just cuddling. It feels like something you do with your crush when you’re in middle school or something.</i>
</p><p>
  <i>I tilted my head up and looked at him. I couldn’t tell if he noticed that I looked at him, but his eyes were trained on the movie. I whispered his name; “Kevin” and he broke his concentration and looked at me. He seemed a little confused at first when his beautiful blue eyes met mine. We were lost in each other’s gaze and I bit my lip, practically begging him to make the first move and finally kiss me. Otherwise, I was about to kiss him.</i>
</p><p>
  <i>When he realized what I wanted, he gulped before leaning his head down slowly. I lifted mine up to meet him in the middle and our lips touched lightly for a moment. I leaned closer, ready to give him more before he pulled away and let out a small sigh.</i>
</p><p>
  <i>“I-I’m sorry, I don’t have much experience with this…” he admitted. </i>
</p><p>
  <i>I was a little shocked by his admission at first, I mean he was 9 years older than me. I would have expected he’d have loads more experiences with girls than I have with guys or girls combined. Especially because of how attractive he is. I understand the awkwardness can be a turnoff for some… so I wondered if maybe that was why? </i>
</p><p>
  <i>I wasn’t buying it completely, though. He was really closed off when I met him. Hell, it took a year of pining over each other and me asking him to hang out subtly with all notions to be turned down until one day he surprised me by asking me out for a cup of coffee. </i>
</p><p>
  <i>So that being said, did he not have experience with girls because he was scared to get close to people? Did he have a bad experience with a past relationship? I can definitely relate to that. Part of me wondered… did he have some deep, dark secret that he was hiding? </i>
</p><p>
  <i>He seemed too stable to have a drug addiction. He seemed like he got an adequate amount of sleep, he didn’t look tired or act sluggish ever. Aside from the knee-bouncing and social anxiety, he didn’t seem to be that off. He was just a bit awkward but some people just are that way. I assured myself that that’s what it was. The curiosity was from my psychology major brain coming out.</i>
</p><p>
  <i>“I’m sorry… we don’t have to…” I shook my head and looked away, feeling bad that I pushed him. I thought that maybe this was a mistake. Maybe we should just be friends?</i>
</p><p>
  <i>“No… I-I want to…” he stuttered, grabbing my chin and turning my face towards him. This time he leaned in and kissed me, harder and more passionately than before. I grabbed his shirt gently and pulled him closer to me, but still allowed him full control over the kiss. I was treading lightly, not wanting to push him too far. </i>
</p><p>
  <i>That’s why I was surprised when he nipped at my bottom lip. I gasped quietly, opening my mouth and with that allowing his tongue to slip in as he explored my mouth. I heard his small chuckle and could feel his lips turn into a smug smirk. I rolled my eyes and let it slide as my tongue swirled around his. </i>
</p><p>
  <i>Letting him be in control was totally out the window when I moved and straddled his waist without breaking the kiss. His tongue didn’t let up and the kiss got deeper, so I assumed he was okay with it. His hands moved from my cheek down to my hips, touching awkwardly them softly before letting go and dropping them to his side as if he decided against resting his hands there. </i>
</p><p>
  <i>I took his hands and placed them on my hips, letting him know that it was okay as our tongues fought for dominance. He sighed in the kiss and his body relaxed, seeming relieved. After a minute or two of making out, I pulled away to catch my breath, my cheeks burning as I looked at him. </i>
</p><p>
  <i>His eyes opened and he looked at me, cracking a small smile. “Wow… that was…” </i>
</p><p>
  <i>“Good, I hope.” </i>
</p><p>
  <i>“Amazing, actually.”</i>
</p><p>
  <i>“Maybe with a little more practice it’ll be even better.” I proposed shyly as I blushed and looked down. I hadn’t been that forward with him before and I suddenly got nervous when I felt his hands drop from my waist and he jerked his whole body, knocking me off of him in the process. I looked at him with wide eyes as he gasped loudly, looking at the TV.</i>
</p><p>
  <i>“Holy shit did you see that?! That was crazy! He totally busted through the window and did a flip and landed on his feet, etcetera!” He sounded like a child with a lisp.</i>
</p><p>
  <i>I was so caught off-guard, not only by his sudden demeanor change, but he practically knocked me half off of him, so my leg was still over his lap, not being completely knocked off of him yet. I was honestly too shocked at Kevin’s sudden behavior change to move all the way off of him. This was just… so out of character and I couldn’t help but wonder if I pushed him too far… I mean, why else would he suddenly act like this? </i>
</p><p>
  <i>Kevin looked at me and my position, more specifically that my leg that was over him. His eyes widened as he pushed my leg off rudely and suddenly and shrunk away from me as if he were scared and offended. </i>
</p><p>
  <i>“Whoa, why are you so close to me? Was something about to happen? Did something happen? Etcetera?” he asked, sounding a little worried at first. Then he looked at my face and his whole body relaxed and he reached out to grab my hand. “Wow, you’re pretty. You must be Sophie. I’m Hedwig.” he smiled shyly.</i>
</p><p>
  <i>“Hedwig,” I repeated, still in slight disbelief. I couldn’t wrap my head around what the fuck was going on. </i>
</p><p>
  <i>On the outside, I kept calm, but on the inside, my mind was all over the place. It was racing with so many questions and it was hard to get my thoughts straight. How could this be possible? Is he messing with me? Why did Hedwig come out right after we kissed? Was this some sick joke because the kiss was bad and he doesn’t actually like me anymore?</i>
</p><p>
  <i>“Yeah. Kevin and Miss Patricia both wanted me to sleep tonight but this movie looks really freaking crazy and I wanted to see it. Plus Kevin said so much good stuff about you, I wanted to meet you myself, etcetera. He was right about you being pretty. You’re super pretty.” he gushed and smiled before he took some popcorn out of the bowl that was sitting on the coffee table and shoved some in his mouth, slouching down on the couch and chewing with his mouth open. </i>
</p><p>
  <i>I tried to rationalize this. He said his name was Hedwig. And in the blink of an eye, it was like he was a completely different person. His demeanor changed, his voice changed and so did his mannerisms. This really wasn’t the Kevin I’ve gotten to know. This was Hedwig, not Kevin. But how… </i>
</p><p>
  <i>My attention was brought back to Kevin… or Hedwig, rather, when he blinked and threw his head back dramatically with a sigh.</i>
</p><p>
  <i>“Really, Hedwig? You pick now to come into the light? They were just getting to the juicy part.” his demeanor changed once again in the blink of an eye. His voice was loose and relaxed and more feminine. It kind of reminded me about how he acted and sounded on our first date, except he was a little more reserved then.</i>
</p><p>
  <i>By this time, I couldn’t hide the shock and confusion on my face as, who I thought was Kevin, but knew it wasn’t at the same time, looked at me apologetically. “Oh, honey, I’m so sorry you had to find out like this. Kevin was worried about telling you, he likes you a lot. Like, a lot a lot. I’ve never seen him like someone this much before.”</i>
</p><p>
  <i>“Who… who are you?” I asked slowly, still trying to wrap my head around this. It was hard to grasp an idea of what was going on and part of me wanted to run for the hills, but I wanted to understand him. I knew then that this wasn’t a joke and he wasn’t messing with me, this was real.</i>
</p><p>
  <i>“Oh gosh, I am so sorry I haven’t introduced myself, how rude of me. I’m Barry. We met the first time we went out for coffee because Kevin was too nervous to go and I didn’t want to blow you off, honey and I’m glad I didn’t because whew that kiss was hot! Took him long enough, really. If it were up to me that would have happened ages ago!” Barry gushed with a smile. </i>
</p><p>
  <i>I couldn’t help but smile a bit, but I was still really confused. “Right… so, uhm, where’s Kevin?” I asked slowly again. I didn’t want to blow Barry off or seem like I didn’t want to talk to him, but I was just confused by what was currently happening.</i>
</p><p>
  <i>My mind was reaching around and grasping for something, anything to make this make sense. This was definitely a mental disorder. I learned about all of them in Abnormal Psych and this sounded so familiar. Multiple alters in one body… multiple personality disorder… no, it’s not called that anymore… dissociative identity disorder! That’s it. That has to be what this is. My aunt Karen has told me loads of stuff about DID, all of her patients have it. It’s what she specializes in. </i>
</p><p>
  <i>“He’s here. He’s nervous you’ll leave if he comes back. Oh, tell me you won’t leave, honey. He’s so sorry you found out this way, as am I.” he attested sincerely as he reached out and grabbed my hands.</i>
</p><p>
  <i>“I’m not going to leave,” I promised and it was the truth. Barry smiled and nodded.</i>
</p><p>
  <i>“Perfect! Here he comes!” Barry exclaimed. He took a deep breath and let it out slowly, his demeanor changing once again back to the Kevin I was familiar with. </i>
</p><p>
  <i>He pinched the bridge of his nose and seemed to be disassociating for a few seconds, so I gave him time to reassociate. I learned through my aunt and my own research that when alters change, it can cause dissociation and things like headaches and confusion. At that time I didn’t know much else about it until I did further research.</i>
</p><p>
  <i>When he looked at me, I gave him a small smile. “Hey.”</i>
</p><p>
  <i>“H-hey…” he hesitated slowly, visibly nervous. I could only imagine how worried he was right now. I couldn’t help but wonder how other girls or even friends would react after experiencing that. He’s probably had so much rejection because of it, I was determined not to be another one of those people. He needed to feel safe and comfortable, he deserved that.</i>
</p><p>
  <i>“It’s okay. I’m here.” I reached out and grabbed his hand to reassure him. I wanted him to feel valid and safe with me. A small smile crossed his lips as he looked up at me.</i>
</p><p>
  <i>“You’re not going to leave?”</i>
</p><p>
  <i>I shook my head. “Absolutely not,” I assured him as I stroked his hand with my thumb. “I do have a few questions though. You don’t have to answer them all today, but… if I’m going to stay I’d like to know a bit more. So that I can understand you better and get to know you and Barry and Hedwig… and whoever else might be in there.” </i>
</p><p>
  <i>“Of course, I’ll answer every question you have.” Kevin looked at me, completely relieved. “Do you know anything about Dissociative Identity Disorder?”</i>
</p><p>
  <i>“I know the textbook definition and what I learned from school and from what my aunt has taught me because she works specifically with people who have DID,” I answered.</i>
</p><p>
  <i>“Your aunt?” he asked, raising his brows.</i>
</p><p>
  <i>“Yeah, my aunt Karen...” I hesitantly said, he looked confused for a second.</i>
</p><p>
  <i>“Dr. Karen Fletcher?”</i>
</p><p>
  <i>“That would be her… how did you know?” I raised my brows.</i>
</p><p>
  <i>“She’s my therapist. I guess I just didn’t put two and two together after hearing your last name…” </i>
</p><p>
  <i>“Wow, it’s a small world.” I laughed and nodded.</i>
</p><p>
  <i>“Sure is.” he chuckled. I smiled and looked at him, unsure of what to say next exactly. “So you know why people get it? DID, I mean...” he hesitated. I could tell that he was getting nervous. His knee started bouncing slightly and his voice got shakier.</i>
</p><p>
  <i>“From what I’ve learned, it can stem from a combination of factors, most specifically the trauma experienced by the person with DID. The dissociation is basically a coping mechanism for dealing with said trauma. They’re able to shut off one part of them to avoid the situation and another comes out during those times in need.” I told him what I remembered from class.</i>
</p><p>
  <i>“You pretty much nailed it on the head.” he nodded. I looked at him and bit my lip, this time because I was thinking. I wanted to know the trauma he went through because I wanted to be able to understand him more, but I know opening up about trauma isn’t the easiest thing to do… I haven’t even told him about my childhood trauma yet.</i>
</p><p>
  <i>“I know that you must have gone through a lot in order for dissociation to happen and you don’t have to tell me if you’re not comfortable with it, but I just want you to know that I’m here for you. You can tell me anything and I won’t judge you. I’m here to support you, no matter what.” I assured him, grabbing his hand gently.</i>
</p><p>
  <i>Kevin smiled and looked down at our hands. “I really appreciate that.”</i>
</p><p>
  <i>“So Hedwig and Barry are two of the alters… how many more are there?” I asked curiously.</i>
</p><p>
  <i>“23.”</i>
</p><p>
  <i>I raised my brows in shock. “Really? Wow, that’s a lot.” I said without really thinking it through. Kevin looked down at his hands and I couldn’t help but think I offended him. “Not that that’s a bad thing. Hedwig and Barry seem really nice, I’d love to get to know them more someday.” I smiled.</i>
</p><p>
  <i>“They’d love that too, but you actually met Barry already…” he confessed, looking down at his hands.</i>
</p><p>
  <i>“I did, he told me."</i>
</p><p>
  <i>Kevin chuckled and nodded. “Yeah. He asked you out because I was too nervous. He also went on the date to the coffee house with you.” he admitted shyly.</i>
</p><p>
  <i>“Aw, well, I didn’t notice at all.” I smiled as I thought about it. Barry seemed more extroverted and less reserved and much less anxious than Kevin is.</i>
</p><p>
  <i>“Yeah, he’s pretty good like that. He’s the main alter. Dr. Fletcher, your aunt, calls him the Protector.”</i>
</p><p>
  <i>“That makes sense then.” I nodded, thinking back to all I’ve learned about different alter and how the Protector is basically there to protect the host against anything that may be harmful or detrimental to their psyche. “So wait, if Barry went out with me for our coffee date, how did you remember everything he said even though you weren’t there? Did Barry tell you after or…”</i>
</p><p>
  <i>“Sometimes I can remain co-conscious with him when I want to. It basically means we’re both here, but I’m listening rather than being present,” he explained.</i>
</p><p>
  <i>“Right… so does that mean Hedwig is too? Like did he know when we kissed…” I hesitated. The idea of Hedwig, a child, being co-conscious while we kissed just seemed wrong on so many levels.</i>
</p><p>
  <i>“No, not at all. Hedwig doesn’t have co-consciousness, although he can come and go whenever he wants, which is kind of frustrating at times. Barry tries to keep him under control, but it doesn’t always work. Barry is always co-conscious with me, though.” </i>
</p><p>
  <i>“Gotcha, that makes sense.” I nodded, biting the inside of my cheek, which I tend to do when I’m nervous. I didn’t even realize I was doing this at first.</i>
</p><p>
  <i>“Does that make you nervous?” he asked, raising his brows at me. </i>
</p><p>
  <i>“Honestly… all of it does a little bit, but only because there’s so much I don’t know about it. New things usually make people nervous or scared, but I’m excited to get to know you more, as well as Barry and Hedwig and the others, should they want to meet me.”</i>
</p><p>
  <i>“I get that and I’m sure they’d love you. I know I do.” Kevin smiled, then his eyes widened when he realized what he did said.“Sh-shit, I didn’t mean that, that’s way too soon, I like- I like you a lot and stuff and-” he started to panic, so I leaned in and pecked his lips gently to cut him off and it worked because he stopped rambling and sighed into the kiss.</i>
</p><p>
  <i>I pulled away and smiled. “I like you a lot too, Kevin. And knowing this much more about you makes you like you even more than before. We’ll get to the love part soon.” I cupped his cheek and smiled at him. He smiled and nodded and I could see the small blush on his cheeks. I didn’t tell him then, but I actually thought I might love him too, but I didn’t want to admit it too soon.</i>
</p><p>
  <i>“Is there… anything else you want to know?” </i>
</p><p>
  <i>“I think that’s about it, thank you for being so open with me, Kevin. I really appreciate it.” I moved my hand to his knee and squeezed it gently, smiling at him. I partly did it to show him reassurance, but also because he was shaking the whole couch with how much he was bouncing it.</i>
</p><p>
  <i>“Thank you for being so understanding and allowing me to feel comfortable. I can’t thank you enough for that.” he smiled and took my hand. I looked down at our hands and smiled, too. Then he said something I didn’t expect him to. “We should continue practicing.”</i>
</p><p>
  <i>“Practicing?” I raised my brows at him.</i>
</p><p>
  <i>“What we were doing earlier.” he winked and smirked. I could tell his voice sounded different and he was definitely being more flirtatious than usual. </i>
</p><p>
  <i>“Barry?” I guessed, laughing softly.</i>
</p><p>
  <i>“What? I’m just getting this ship moving. Keep making out, it’s fun. He likes it.” he admitted bluntly.</i>
</p><p>
  <i>“He does? Well, I do too.”</i>
</p><p>
  <i>“Then what’s stopping you? I’ll get him and you better start making out or I’ll come back out and kiss you myself!” he exclaimed with a chuckle. I laughed and shook my head as he tilted his head back and blinked, pinching the bridge of his nose gently.</i>
</p><p>
  <i>“Shit I’m so sorry-” Kevin began to apologize, but I cut him off with my lips once again.</i>
</p><p>
  <i>“Maybe we could practice a bit more…” I hummed, smiling at him and my eyes lighting up.</i>
</p><p><i>“You don’t have to tell me twice…” he said, cupping my cheeks and pulling me into another kiss. I smiled and wrapped my arms around him, not hesitating to kiss him back.</i><br/>
<br/>
It was at that moment that I decided I was going to stay. This wasn’t going to scare me off, I was here to stay. To help him. To be with him. To treat him like he’s normal… because he deserves it. And I’m so glad that I did.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0005"><h2>5. Announcing the Engagement: The Alters</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>With Sophie’s friends and family out of the way, it’s time to tell the alters about the engagement and not all of them are happy about it.</p>
          </blockquote><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p><i>Date: Late January 2014 (present to the story)</i><br/>Word count: 5.7k<br/>Chapter warnings: curings/adult languge, resolved angst, brief anxiety/panic attack, smut/sexual content (oral - female receiving, practice of safe sex).</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    
<p></p><div class="center">
  <p>
    <b>Chapter Five</b><br/>
<i>Announcing the Engagement: The Alters</i>
  </p>
</div>5 days later, I was just getting off work at the zoo after an early morning shift that was from 7 am-3 pm. Knowing I would be off at 3, Kevin was able to get a break at the same time and we planned to meet at his place in the zoo to have alone time, just me and him.<p>We sat down on his couch and I let out a small sigh of relief. After being on my feet for nearly 8 hours, it was nice to sit down on something comfortable… or comfortable enough, rather. Kevin’s furniture wasn’t as nice as mine, but it was still comfortable regardless. Kevin sat next to me, with the remote in his hand, ready to turn on the TV. Whenever we have a rough or long day, we usually veg out and watch TV, but I wanted to talk.</p><p>“I think we should tell the others that we’re engaged…” I mentioned, thinking out loud. It had been on my mind ever since the engagement, especially since I’ve seen Patricia, Jade, and Hedwig in the past 5 days and I felt horrible hiding it from them. It was Kevin’s request that I take off the ring if they wanted the light and I didn’t want to upset him, so I did it even though I didn’t want to keep the secret from them.</p><p>“Yeah, we can.” he agreed, nodding.</p><p>“I think we should talk about how we’re going to tell them…” I hesitated. I was still worried about their reactions honestly and I think he could tell.</p><p>“Well, I was thinking I could just have Barry tell all of them to make it easier…” Kevin suggested, seeming to shrug it off as if it weren’t a big deal. </p><p>That was usually his default when it came to situations that could possibly require confrontation. He’d let Barry deal with it. Sometimes it could be a little frustrating because if Kevin and I were in a fight (which we rarely did), he’d always have Barry take the light and I saw that as him running away from the situation. It’s just the way he deals with things and I understand that so I can’t get mad at him.</p><p>“That’s a good idea…” I bit my lip and hesitated as I thought more about it and when I did, I realized I didn’t really like that idea, to be honest, but I had to tell him gently. “I think I’d want to tell a couple of them myself. Like the ones I’ve grown closer to like Patricia and Jade and Hedwig. I’m most worried about Hedwig and I want to make sure I break it to him lovingly. You know how he has a crush on me…”</p><p>“Barry has talked to him about the crush. I think he’ll be happy for us. I think they all will be… I hope so anyway.” he hoped, but I could tell there was slight doubt in his voice. </p><p>He may have told Barry to talk to Hedwig about the crush, but I know that didn’t really do much. I still felt like Hedwig had a crush on me, by the things he said and sometimes how he acted. He’d always ask me questions like “Do you like me?” but then he’d change the topic before I had a chance to explain that I did but only as a friend.</p><p>“Me too…” I trailed off apprehensively, biting my lip again.</p><p>I felt Kevin’s eyes on me and he sighed, catching onto my apprehension. “How about we tell Patricia tomorrow, Jade on Friday, and Hedwig on Saturday? Then Barry will tell the rest?” he suggested.</p><p>I looked at him and nodded. “Okay, I like that idea. How should I tell them? And Barry will make sure they’re here those days?” I asked. Kevin nodded. Barry usually did a good job at facilitating who gets the light when, so I didn’t really doubt it. </p><p>“He will… and let me think…” he paused, biting the inside of his cheek as he thought. “Oh, you could surprise Patricia by cooking something with her? I think she’d like the surprise and then you could tell her we’re engaged. I don’t doubt that she’ll be happy for us.” he sounded more sure of himself than he had before.</p><p>“I think she will be too. Jade and I are having a sleepover Friday anyway, so I’ll just tell her then. Then that leaves Hedwig...” I said, letting out a small sigh. I was really worried about Hedwig and his reaction. I care so much about him, I don’t want to hurt him.</p><p>“Take him to the arcade first and get some ice cream. I’m sure you’ll tell him something better than what I can come up with… you’re always more caring and understanding with him.”</p><p>“I try to be.” I smiled, but that fell when I thought more about it and worry took over my thoughts. I let out an anxious sigh and I think Kevin could tell because he grabbed my hand.</p><p>“Hey, you have nothing to worry about. They all love you,” he assured me, rubbing my hand with his thumb. I swear I could hear the littlest bit of doubt in his voice, but his face read that he was more sure of himself.</p><p>“Even Orwell and Heinrich?” I asked nervously.</p><p>“I can’t even understand Heinrich…” he hesitated. “But Orwell, yes.”</p><p>“You would tell me if any of them didn’t like me, right?” I asked hopefully. </p><p>Kevin nodded. “To be fair, I’m sure Barry would tell you.”</p><p>I laughed and nodded, agreeing with him. “You’re right.” Kevin smiled at me and kissed my lips softly.</p><p>“I love you so much.” he smiled, entwining our fingers together.</p><p>“I love you so much too. To infinity and beyond.” I smiled and blushed. I was obsessed with Buzz Lightyear since I was a kid and Toy Story is probably my favorite Disney movie, so one day he said ‘I love you to infinity and beyond’ and it stuck.</p><p>“To infinity and beyond.” he grinned back. His smile was infectious and I smiled wider as his blue eyes met mine in a captivating gaze. I swear I could stare into his eyes all day. </p><p>After a new moment of getting lost in his eyes, I bit my bottom lip, something I knew turned him on. He looked down at my lips and then back to my eyes, catching onto what I was silently asking for. He grabbed onto the back of my neck and pulled my face to his, our lips crashing into each other. I was a little surprised by how roughly he kissed me but I didn’t hesitate to kiss back. My hands found the back of his neck as he nipped at my bottom lip. He slipped his tongue in when I opened my mouth and allowed him entrance, swirling my tongue around his. </p><p>I hesitated for a second as a thought crossed my mind and I pulled back slightly. “Don’t you have to get back to work soon?” I questioned, our lips still touching gently.</p><p>“Fuck work,” he mumbled against my lips and nipped at my bottom lip playfully. It sent a shiver down my spine and a tingle between my legs.</p><p>“Can’t argue with that,” I smirked, shrugging and deepening the kiss again. Our tongues fought for dominance quickly as he reached for my waist and pulled me towards him. I got the hint and straddled his waist quickly without breaking the kiss.</p><p>His hands quickly moved to my ass, gripping it tightly as I moaned softly into the kiss. I grabbed onto the back of his neck tighter as his fingers dug into my ass. I moaned again, thinking that he was being rougher than usual but I wasn’t about to stop him. Secretly I loved when he got a little rough with me. He’s usually a little too gentle for my liking.</p><p>I ground my hips against him, causing him to groan softly into the kiss as I felt his cock harden through his jeans against my clothed pussy that was already throbbing from the friction. The idea of him fucking me, or anything along those lines, even the softest touch that I craved from him daily was a sure-fire way to get me wet. Not to mention, I was wearing these really attractive khaki pants we were forced to wear at work and they were thin, so I guess that’s a plus for when you want to dry hump your fiancé after work. </p><p>Breaking the kiss for a second, I swiftly took off his shirt, my lips attaching back to his hungrily. My palms moved flat against his chest as I felt his pecs and I moved my hands down, feeling every indent of his six-pack. Not many people knew how ripped he was, he has a home-gym here and likes to keep toned and I definitely didn’t mind. I knew he loved when I touched him like this, especially while grinding my hips against him, so I wasn’t surprised to feel his cock grow harder and harder with the friction. </p><p>We were breathing heavily as we kissed each other passionately. His hands moved to the hem of my shirt and he pulled it off. Then he unhooked my bra and threw it on the floor. Instead of kissing me again, he kissed my chest, leaving a trail of kisses down my breast before taking my nipple in his mouth. I moaned as I ground my hips harder against his cock, my clit getting the friction it begged for. He groaned against my breast, sucking and nipping at my nipple before moving to the other one. I tilted my head back and moaned his name this time, feeling his cock twitch in response. I smirked and reached between us, my hands fumbling to get his jeans unbuttoned and unzipped. </p><p>While I worked on his pants, he started to get mine off. I stood up to slide them off the rest of the way and to my surprise, he stood up to get out of his pants and kicked them off. He grabbed the back of my thighs and lifted me up. I quickly wrapped my legs around his torso and we kissed fervently. We haven’t had sex since our anniversary, so I was eager and ready needless to say. </p><p>He brought me to the bed, laying me down on it gently without breaking the kiss. He was usually always gentle with me and even when he did get his sudden urges to be rough with me, he always managed to handle me with care, something I admired. We kissed deeply as he got on top of me. He used one arm to hold himself above me and the older hand slipped down my waist and into my panties. My breath hitched against his lips when his fingers found my sensitive bud, teasing it gently before moving his fingers to feel how dripping my pussy was. </p><p>“You’re soaked,” he groaned into the kiss, smirking.</p><p>“You have that effect on me, Kevin. You’re so fucking sexy.” I moaned into the kiss as I rubbed his chest. He broke the kiss and moved his hands away from my pussy and for a second I worried I said something wrong. </p><p>Then he kissed my neck, leaving a trail of kisses in between my breasts and down my stomach. He hooked his fingers into my panties and ripped them off roughly, I heard them tear in the process. It slipped my mind immediately when I felt him lick in between my folds and up to my clit, causing me to gasp and my hands flew to the back of his head. </p><p>His tongue flicked over my clit, causing me to buck my hips and moan. His tongue felt so fucking good and for someone who hardly had any experience with girls, this was something he did phenomenally. I arched my back as he kitten licked my clit. I looked down at him and bit my bottom lip as his finger teased my pussy, swirling around my entrance. I bucked my hips and whimpered as his tongue continued its assault on my sensitive bud.</p><p>“Fuck, Kevin!” I moaned as he started to suck harshly on my clit. He slipped a finger inside of me and moved it in and out of me before curling it, hitting my g-spot perfectly. I ground my hips down against his finger and I gasped when he added another one, curling it perfectly again. </p><p>My hands moved to cup my breasts and I squeezed them hard as Kevin continued to suck on my clit and fuck me with his fingers. It felt so good. I felt myself getting closer and closer to the edge. Then he nipped at my clit and I jerked my hips, moaning loudly in response. </p><p>“I’m close, baby.” I moaned, looking down at him. He looked back up at me, his eyes locking with mine as he continued his movements. He added a third finger and I felt myself nearly sent over the edge by that movement alone.</p><p>“Cum for me baby,” he mumbled against my pussy, the vibrations of his voice sending me over the edge. I moaned his name loudly as I came around his fingers. His movements didn’t falter as he let me ride out my high, my legs shaking as I laid back on the bed, trying to catch my breath. Once he knew I was done, he kissed my clit gently before moving up to kiss my lips. </p><p>I moaned into the kiss, kissing him deeply, loving the way I tasted on his tongue. He pulled away and I grabbed his hand that worked on inside my pussy and brought his fingers to my lips, sucking my cum off of them. He moaned softly as he blinked slowly. For a second I was really worried that one of the others would come out, but he opened his eyes and kissed me again, showing me that it was still him.</p><p>“Fuck me, baby,” I begged against his lips. He pulled away and reached into his nightstand to get a condom, slipping it on his pulsating cock. He got on top of me and slipped inside of me with ease. I moaned his name as he filled me up all the way. “Fuck, Kevin...” </p><p>He placed gentle kisses on my shoulders as he waited for me to adjust. To let him know I was ready, I clenched around him and bucked my hips up. He caught on and slowly started to move in and out of me. </p><p>At first, he was gentle and slow, giving me time to get used to him, but as time passed, he started thrusting a little harder. All I could hear were the sounds of our moans and curses (mostly mine) and skin slapping together as he fucked me. I wrapped my legs around him, allowing him to go deeper and at a different angle, earning a loud moan from me and a groan from him. </p><p>“Talk to me, baby,” I begged breathlessly as I pulled his head back so he was looking at me. Something about making eye contact with him while he was balls deep inside of me and fucking me senseless never ceased to turn me on or send butterflies in my stomach. I loved to hear his voice as he was fucking me, too, it just drove me wild.</p><p>“You’re s-so fucking tight for me, angel,” he groaned as he thrust into me, grabbing my hips tightly. “Taking my cock so well.” he didn’t need much more prompting than that. He was surprisingly good at dirty talk when we were actually fucking. It’s like a flip switched in his head and he would totally get into the zone. “You like when I fuck your pretty pussy, baby?”</p><p>“Y-yes!” I moaned breathlessly as I grabbed onto the back of his neck. “Fuck this pussy hard baby!” </p><p>He didn’t hesitate to thrust faster and harder than before as he buried his head into my neck and nipped at it gently. I whimpered when I felt his fingers on my clit and he rubbed it gently. My eyes rolled back as I let the pleasure of his cock pounding into me and his fingers on my clit take over my body. I was so close to coming undone but I wanted to wait for him. </p><p>“Fuck, gonna cum baby.” he groaned into my shoulder. I clenched my walls around him, hoping that would get him closer as I felt myself getting closer and closer to the edge.</p><p>“Fuck, me too baby. I’m so close.” I breathed out. His fingers moved faster on my clit and I felt the familiar pressure in my stomach building up again. I grabbed onto his shoulders, my fingers digging into his skin as his thrusts got harder and sloppier. “I’m right there!” I moaned as his fingers circled my clit faster and I was sent over the edge, unable to hold on longer to wait for him. I came around his cock hard, my walls clenching around him as I dug my fingernails into his back and practically screamed his name. </p><p>“Fuck, Sophie!” he groaned loudly, thrusting into me one last time as I felt the warm liquid coat the inside of the condom. </p><p>He pulled out of me and laid down next to me. I heard him take the condom off and throw it out as I tried to catch my breath. “Fuck, I love you. That was amazing.” I panted as I rested my head on his chest when he laid back down.</p><p>“I love you too and it was.” he agreed as he wrapped his arm around my shoulders and held me close as he too tried to catch his breath. I heard his phone go off and he put his hands on his forehead and groaned. “Fuck.” I looked up at him, confused, wondering if maybe he had changed alters or something. This would not be the best time to do so. “I have to get back to work.”</p><p>“Tell them you’re sick to your stomach because of how good your fiancé’s pussy feels wrapped around your huge cock.” I joked with a smirk. </p><p>He looked at me with his eyes wide. “Sophie!”</p><p>“I’m kidding babe,” I laughed, kissing his cheek. “You should get back to work though, I’ll keep myself occupied.” I kissed his lips gently before he rolled out of bed.</p><p>“I’ll be done in a few hours. Want to get dinner when I’m finished?” he asked, looking for his clothes.</p><p>“Yeah, that would be great, baby. I’m gonna go home and change. Wanna meet me there when you get out?” I suggested. Kevin nodded as he pulled his pants on.</p><p>“Sounds perfect. I love you baby.” he leaned down and kissed my lips once more before putting his shirt back on and leaving. I let out a sigh and ran my fingers through my sweaty hair - yeah, I definitely need a shower. I caught a glimpse at my engagement ring and looked at it, unable to hold back my smile. God, I will never get over the butterflies I get every time I see this ring on my finger.</p>
<p></p><div class="center">
  <p>✸✸✸</p>
</div>The next day, I got all the ingredients to cook all of Patricia’s favorite food. Starting with Yorkshire Pudding and Trifle for dessert. Given she’s British, she’s always been a fan of British cuisine. She said these two were her favorite, so I figured it’d be perfect to surprise her with.<p>Before she got here, I pulled out all of the ingredients and the proper mixing bowls, pans, and measuring cups we may need. Patricia liked everything to be out as we cooked and liked everything neat and orderly. Normally, I just throw everything together in whatever bowl or pot I found first, regardless of if it was too big. Patricia was tidier with the cooking than I was.</p><p>I heard a knock at the door and I walked over. I shook off my nerves before opening the door and I smiled when I saw her. She was wearing her go-to maroon-colored dress, a cardigan, and a black peacoat that I got her for Christmas. </p><p>“Hi, Patricia.” I smiled.</p><p>“Hello, dear. It’s absolutely frigid outside. Thank you again for this coat.” she thanked me as I stepped aside to let her in. Her heels clicked on the floor as she hung her jacket on the coat rack and adjusted her cardigan, holding it close to her chest.</p><p>“Of course, I’m glad it’s of use to you. I have a surprise for you!” I gushed, grabbing her hand as I led her to the kitchen.</p><p>“Barry mentioned something about a surprise,” she mentioned as she followed me into the kitchen.</p><p>“Well… I thought we could cook Yorkshire Pudding and Trifle?” I suggested, looking at her with a smile as she saw all the ingredients laid out on the island countertop.</p><p>“What a lovely surprise! To what do I owe this surprise to, darling?” she asked, putting her hand on my shoulder gently. She gave me a small smile and I smiled back.</p><p>“Well, I have some news. Kevin and I do, actually.” I admitted, blushing shyly as I reached in my pocket for the ring.</p><p>“Oh god, don’t tell me you’re pregnant.” was her first reaction before I even showed her the ring.</p><p>“Oh god no! Patricia, not at all…”</p><p>“Good. I trust you two are being safe.” she persisted. She’s given me “the talk” before and was very adamant that she didn’t want little Kevin’s or Sophie’s running around out of wedlock. I didn’t fully believe that you have to be married before you have kids, but I respect her viewpoint regardless.</p><p>“We’re actually engaged.” I grinned as I showed her the ring. </p><p>She gasped, surprised. “What a gorgeous ring, my love. Put it on,” she ordered. I didn’t hesitate to do so. She took my hand and admired it. I waited to hear another response from her, the nervousness bubbling in my stomach. I couldn’t read her facial expression as she studied the ring with her lips pursed. “I think it’s lovely. A bit soon, but I trust that both of you know what you’re doing.” </p><p>I smiled. “So… you’re happy for us?” </p><p>“I’m over the moon, little duck,” she gently cupped my cheek. “You make Kevin so happy and that’s all I can ask for.” I couldn’t help but smile as she smiled at me as I thought about in the beginning she was skeptical about me. So it was nice that we came full-circle and she accepted me now. Then she dropped her hand from my cheek. “I don’t have much time, so let’s get to it.”</p><p>“Of course! I hope I got all the ingredients correct… I have that piece of paper you wrote the recipes on and I’m pretty sure I got them all.” </p><p>She scanned the ingredients on the table. “This will do. Get me a large mixing bowl, please,” she instructed and I did as I was asked. I smiled too, happy that my telling her went well and that she was honest with me. Just leaves Jade tomorrow and Hedwig Saturday.</p>
<p></p><div class="center">
  <p>✸✸✸</p>
</div><p>After Patricia and I cooked and enjoyed the meal, Kevin came into the light and spent the night. I had classes early, so I didn’t see him that morning. While I was gone, he ran some errands, mostly to get Jade’s insulin, and spent the rest of the day at my apartment. I got home around 6 and Kevin was still in the light. He couldn’t really time these things perfectly, so he said he would try to get Jade to come out soon. I really hoped he could so I could tell her, but I would have understood if he couldn’t.</p><p>To give him time, I went to take a shower. I got dressed in my pajamas because I’m sure Jade would dress in hers when she came into the light too, especially since we’re having a sleepover. After changing, I went back into the bathroom, doing my skincare routine, then I heard noises coming from my room. </p><p>I curiously walked in, noticing Kevin’s back was to me and he was standing by my nightstand. I heard what sounded like whimpering as he looked like he was struggling with something on his hand. That’s when I realized he had my engagement ring on his finger and he was trying to get it off because it was stuck. </p><p>When he noticed me, he looked at me with tears in his eyes and I could immediately tell it was Hedwig, not Kevin. </p><p>“Hedwig? Why are you trying on my ring?” I asked softly as I walked over to him.</p><p>“It’s really pretty and I wanted to try it on! I didn’t know it’d get stuck and it really hurts, etcetera!” he cried out, his breathing getting heavier as tears rolled down his cheeks.</p><p>“It’s okay Hedwig, I’ll get it off,” I told him calmly, trying to wiggle it off his finger to no avail. Then I thought about my hair oil and how that might work. “Let me try something else. I’ll be right back.” I quickly went into the bathroom and got the hair oil. I didn’t want him to be even more distressed than he already was.</p><p>“Fuck this!” he practically yelled as I walked back into the room, seeing he was trying to get it off again.</p><p>“Hedwig, it’s okay. Take a deep breath, I’m about to get it off. There’s no need to curse.” I assured him, keeping my voice relaxed and soft as I took some hair oil and put it on the ring, slipping it off with ease.</p><p>“It just hurt a lot, okay.” he sighed as he rubbed his finger that was red from being irritated.</p><p>“Come wash your hands,” I suggested, taking his hand and leading him into the bathroom. He nodded as I turned on the faucet and he started to wash his hands. I couldn’t help but rub his back gently as he did to soothe him.</p><p>“What even is that ring for? It looks like one of those rings people get when they get married or something…” he asked, trailing off. I bit my lip nervously, knowing I’d have to tell him now. I saw his eyes widen in the mirror as he came to this realization. “Are… are you and Kevin married?” </p><p>“We’re not married yet, we’re engaged. It’s what happens before you get married.” I explained, worried about what was to come next.</p><p>“What… When did this happen? How come I haven’t seen it yet, etcetera?” He suddenly looked so betrayed and it killed me to see the look on his face.</p><p>“It happened a week ago, we wanted to keep it a secret in the beginning.”</p><p>“Wow, that’s a long time to keep a secret.” he snapped snarkily, rolling his eyes as he took his hands out from under the water and dried them with the towel. He still left a huge puddle of water on the sink and he didn’t dry his hands properly, but that didn’t surprise me. I turned the faucet off and sighed. </p><p>“I was going to tell you tomorrow. I didn’t want you to find out this way…” I admitted. He seemed really upset as he tried to hide his face, but I could tell he was crying. “Hedwig, I-” I said, taking a step forward to console him.</p><p>“You guys are pussies!” he exclaimed. My eyes widened as I took a step back, shocked that he would say something like that. Yes, he’s only nine and he doesn’t know the gravity of his words, but it still hurts.</p><p>“I’m so sorry…” I felt tears filling up my eyes as I reached out to grab his hand.</p><p>“No. I hate you guys. I don’t even wanna be your friend anymore!” he said unreserved with tears in his eyes as he stormed out of the bathroom. </p><p>“Hedwig!” I went to follow him, but he was gone by the time I got to my room. I stopped in my tracks, wondering if I should just let him go calm down. I felt the tears streaming down my face so I thought maybe I’m the one that needed to calm down. I felt my chest getting tighter as I struggled to get oxygen into my lungs. I tried to take deep breaths as I sat on the bed, knowing I was on the verge of a panic attack.</p><p>“What’s wrong, little duck?” I heard Patricia’s familiar soft voice from the bedroom door. I looked up, breathing heavily with tears staining my cheeks. She quickly rushed over and sat next to me on the bed, wrapping her arms around my shoulders. I put my head on her shoulder and cried, still focusing on catching my breath so I wouldn’t hyperventilate. “There, there, it’ll be alright. Take your time,” she assured calmly, allowing me to catch my breath before I addressed her question.</p><p>I wasn’t surprised Patricia came into the light. She’s the caretaker of the System and the motherly figure. She always consoles people when they’re in need. She probably saw how upset Hedwig was and brought him out of the light to console him. She usually came into the light in times of distress, whether Kevin and I had a fight or if I was having a panic attack and needed to be calmed down.</p><p>“Hedwig just found out that Kevin and I are engaged and he got so upset. I feel so terrible. He said he didn’t want to be my friend anymore…” I sighed, looking down at my hands. “I know he’s only nine and I shouldn’t take it to heart but he means a lot to me and-” I got cut off by a deep inhale that I took, my breathing started to get uneasy again and she rubbed my shoulder gently.</p><p>“It’ll be alright, darling. He just needs some time to process is all. I will talk to him and we will settle this.” she assured me. I nodded, taking a deep breath and letting it out slowly. “Keep taking those deep breaths and I’ll get Kevin so I can talk to Hedwig,” she told me. I nodded and continued my deep breathing. I could feel the pit of anxiety in my stomach start to dissipate a little bit as I calmed my breathing.</p><p>“Baby...” I heard Kevin say softly. I looked up at him and he wrapped his arms around me, pulling me into a tight hug. “It’s okay, I’m here…” </p><p>“He was so upset, Kevin… it hurt him so much…” I cried.</p><p>“Shh, it’s okay. Patricia will talk to him, okay? Let’s just take deep breaths. I’m with you.” he assured me. I nodded and let out a deep breath as I buried my head into his neck. The tears slowed and the breathing went back to normal. We sat there in silence as he stroked my head and let me calm down. My breathing settled and I was starting to feel better.</p><p>Then he tilted his head back and pinched the bridge of his nose, so I pulled away and looked at him, knowing one of the others was going to come through.</p><p>“Sophie…” Hedwig said softly as he looked at me. He looked sad and a little ashamed.</p><p>“Hedwig…” I smiled softly, my face lighting up when I saw him. He seemed a lot calmer now. I was hoping Patricia put him at ease.</p><p>“I just wanted to say I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have called you pussies or said I didn’t want to be friends anymore or said I hate you, etcetera. Miss Patricia talked to me about it and I understand now. You just want to be with Kevin forever. I guess that means you and I will be together forever, too.”</p><p>“Friends forever, Hedwig.” I smiled softly.</p><p>“You promise?” he asked.</p><p>I knew better than to make promises I couldn’t keep, but I truly felt in my heart that this was one I could keep. “I do.” I nodded.</p><p>“Awesome! Look, I know you and Jade are supposed to have a sleepover right now, so I’ll go get her, but can we get ice cream tomorrow? I think I deserve ice cream after that. Ice cream with sprinkles and sour gummies, etcetera.” he insisted. I couldn’t help but smile as I nodded.</p><p>“Of course. I can’t wait!” I smiled.</p><p>“Good me either. I’ll go get Jade. Bye Sophie.” he smiled, tilting his head back and blinking as he pinched the bridge of his nose.</p><p>“No fucking way, when the fuck were you going to tell me you got engaged, you bitch!” Jade’s familiar voice filled my ears as her whole body language changed and she hit my arm lightly. </p><p>“Guess the cats out of the bag.” I laughed as I looked down. I was still a little worried about her reaction, especially after Hedwig’s, but this seems to be a good one so far.</p><p>“Way out of the bag! Sophie, this is so exciting! Let me get my pajamas on and then you’ll tell me all about it!” she exclaimed, standing up and heading for the closet.</p><p>“Alright, I’ll get some popcorn and Oreos. Your insulin is in the fridge.”</p><p>“Perfect. I’ll meet you downstairs!” she called from the closet. I let out a small sigh and smiled at Jade’s reaction. It was much better than Hedwig’s at first. I’m so glad Patricia was able to get Hedwig to understand because I don’t think I would have been myself until I knew Hedwig was okay with this. I love him so much, he’s a part of Kevin and I don’t ever want to do anything to upset him. I’m glad Jade seemed to be taking this so well, though. That was a plus.</p><p>I got up and grabbed my phone, noticing I had a missed call from my ex-boyfriend, Wyatt. I thought that was odd and maybe he was butt-dialing me, but then I read the text he sent me:</p><p>
    <i>
      <b>I miss u. Can we talk?</b>
    </i>
  </p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0006"><h2>6. Jade</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>It’s been about a month since Sophie met Hedwig and Jade feels comfortable enough to come into the light. They bond quickly but then Jade throws Sophie for a loop when she asks about Sophie and Kevin’s sex life. But she breaks the ice, so now Kevin feels more comfortable taking the next step.</p>
          </blockquote><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>
  <i><b>Date:</b> September 12th, 2013 (flashback)<br/><b>Word count: </b>5.6k<br/><b>Chapter warnings:</b> cursing/adult language, talking about sexual themes, smut/practice of safe sex.<br/><b>Author's Note:</b> I’m at the point of writing this (I’m about 7 chapters ahead) where I’m just lost for as to what flashbacks I should put! The next 3 flashbacks are planned, it will be Patricia, Dennis and When Hedwig Met Sophie’s Parents. Do any of you have any other ideas for flashbacks or anything you’d like to see? Leave a comment below and let me know!!</i>
</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    
<p></p><div class="center">
  <p>
    <b>Chapter Six</b><br/>
<i>Jade</i>
  </p>
</div><i><br/>The day I met Jade was the day Kevin and I were supposed to walk around Rittenhouse in City Center and go shopping for a present for Maisie’s birthday next week. It was 10 am and I brought coffee from Cafe Bliss for both of us since it was on my way to the zoo, where I met Kevin. We were going to leave from there since it was a short walk to Rittenhouse from there. </i><p>
  <i>“Hey Kevin!” I smiled as I walked over to him, hugging him before handing him the coffee.</i>
</p><p>
  <i>“Hey Soph,” he mumbled, seeming a little withdrawn as he took the coffee from me. He seemed distracted and his voice was lower and shakier than usual. “Do you mind if we go to the basement? I have to talk to you…” he asked. I nodded, noticing how nervous he seemed, which made me nervous that something was wrong. As we walked to the basement, I tried to think of what it could be. He didn’t sound excited to see me as I was to see him. That made my stomach drop and I feared the worst.</i>
</p><p>
  <i>“Is everything okay?” I asked worriedly as he shut the door behind me. Kevin sighed as he walked over to me. </i>
</p><p>
  <i>“Yeah… just need to talk to you alone...” he hesitated nervously. I could tell he was anxious about something. I noticed his eyelids were heavier than usual and he looked a bit out of sorts in general and just all around uncomfortable and I thought that maybe he was sick or something and couldn’t come with me? “Uh, so I know you wanted to go shopping with me, but Jade really wants to meet you… she’s been relentless about it and I’m not sure I can keep her back from taking the light. She’s been trying to all morning.” </i>
</p><p>
  <i>I’m not going to lie, it was a relief to hear him say that. There were so many ways that could have gone and part of me was worried he’d break up with me or something. I realized now that Jade wanting to take the light could be why he looked so uncomfortable and out of sorts. If he was fighting her back, he must have been exerting a lot of mental energy to do that.</i>
</p><p>
  <i>“Really? I mean, that’d be great. I want to meet her too. Maybe she can come shopping with me?” I suggested as I smiled. Sure, I was a little bummed I wouldn’t be spending this time with Kevin, but I really wanted to meet Jade. He and Barry have told me that she’s a teenager and super fun and she's also hilarious, and if Barry says that, you know it must be true. Admittedly, she has a bit of a trash mouth, like Hedwig (except she doesn’t use the word ‘pussy’ quite as often Barry told me), but most of Kevin’s alters do curse like crazy, which is interesting because he rarely curses himself.</i>
</p><p>
  <i>He let out a sigh, seeming relieved. “I’m sure she’ll love that. Thank you for being so understanding.” </i>
</p><p>
  <i>“Of course babe. Can I steal a kiss from you before she comes?” I asked. Kevin smiled and nodded. I didn’t hesitate to peck his lips lightly on account that it seemed like Jade would come out at any second.</i>
</p><p>
  <i>“She’s ready,” he mentioned when I pulled away. “Just… give me a minute.” he stumbled backward and sat down on the couch, putting his coffee down on the coffee table. </i>
</p><p>
  <i>“Take your time, love,” I assured him as I sat next to him. He pinched the bridge of his nose and winced a bit. I rubbed his back gently, hoping it would help ease the pain. Every transition to a new alter was different. Sometimes they were quick and painless and other times it took a lot out of him. </i>
</p><p>
  <i>“Fuck, I feel like I’m going to throw up!” the pitch of his voice changed, or her voice changed rather. I could tell it was Jade. She leaned forward and puffed up her cheeks dramatically.</i>
</p><p>
  <i>“I’ll get water.” I offered, quickly getting up and getting a glass of water for her.</i>
</p><p>
  <i>“Thanks,” she mumbled as she took it from me and took a sip. I smiled and sat next to her and she placed the cup on the coffee table. She looked at me and her eyes lit up. “Fuck, you are hot!” she beamed, catching me off-guard.</i>
</p><p>
  <i>I smiled and blushed. “Thanks, that’s nice of you.”</i>
</p><p>
  <i>“And a redhead, even hotter!” she exclaimed. “Are you naturally a ginger?” she asked, picking up my hair in her hand and running her fingers through it, no doubt making it a frizzy mess.</i>
</p><p>
  <i>“I’m actually naturally blonde.” I laughed.</i>
</p><p>
  <i>“Apparently blondes have more fun, but I think redheads are sexier. Kevin scored big time with you,” she smirked, twirling her finger around my hair.</i>
</p><p>
  <i>“I can attest that redheads actually have more fun. Plus, you can act a little wilder and people will just assume it’s because you’re a ginger and you have no soul.” I joked.</i>
</p><p>
  <i>“Clearly you have a soul, otherwise you wouldn’t put up with Kevin or Barry. Or even Hedwig. He’s a handful. I heard you kissed him once?” she giggled with an undeniable smirk on her face. I felt my cheeks heat up in embarrassment.</i>
</p><p>
  <i>“Does everyone know that? That was a complete accident and I felt terrible!” I explained, looking down at my hands.</i>
</p><p>
  <i>“He has a huge crush on you now. Says your lips felt like cotton candy. Hedwig and Sophie, sitting in a tree, K-I-S-S-I-N-G.” she sang, teasing me as she smirked.</i>
</p><p>
  <i>“Oh my god, I’m never gonna live this down, am I?” I laughed, putting my head in my hands.</i>
</p><p>
  <i>Jade scoffed. “Nope. The funniest part was when he came back and asked Miss Patricia where babies come from. I have never seen her look so shocked in her life!” </i>
</p><p>
  <i>“He asked me too and I told him to ask Patricia because I didn’t know what else to say,” I confessed, laughing a bit at the irony of it.</i>
</p><p>
  <i>“She gave him the stork story. You should have asked him to come to me. I actually would have told him the truth instead of the one where fucking big bird drops you off in a basket as a baby, blah, blah, blah, all lies!” </i>
</p><p>
  <i>“Big bird? That’s terrifying!” </i>
</p><p>
  <i>“You’re telling me.” Jade sighed as she looked at my hair again, pulling it from behind my shoulder. “Being blonde is like a clean slate. If I had blonde hair, I’d probably dye it ginger like yours. Ohh, or maybe something fun like electric blue. Or pink.”</i>
</p><p>
  <i>“All of which would look amazing on you, Jade,” I admitted honestly. </i>
</p><p>
  <i>“Oh shut up, you’re just saying that.”</i>
</p><p>
  <i>“I’m not. Plus, I think it’d be pretty funny to see Kevin rock blue or pink hair. Although, I don’t think he’d be too fond of it though.” I laughed, thinking about how he might react to having blue or pink hair.</i>
</p><p>
  <i>“You’re right. We should do it!” </i>
</p><p>
  <i>“Oh, we could get a cool wig or something!” </i>
</p><p>
  <i>Jade’s eyes lit up and she nodded in agreement. “That sounds perfect! I’ve been asking Kevin and Barry to grow out our hair, but they’re so against it! I don’t know why though. We would look so hot!”</i>
</p><p>
  <i>“It would definitely be a look.” I laughed, trying to think of how Kevin would look with long hair. It probably wouldn’t look bad. He’s pretty cute regardless if I do say so myself. And I’m not being biased because I’m his girlfriend.</i>
</p><p>
  <i>“Is your hair real or extensions?” she asked as she started playing with my hair again. It was pretty long, about halfway down my back, so I could see why she asked that.</i>
</p><p>
  <i>“It’s real. I don’t think I’d do a good job at managing extensions.” </i>
</p><p>
  <i>“Ugh, Barry’s already on me about the blue and pink hair.” she rolled her eyes as she got up from the couch. “Blah, blah, blah. Fuck them, I want fun colored hair. Oooh! Let’s dye my eyebrows to match it!”</i>
</p><p>
  <i>“I think Barry would have a heart attack if you did that.” I laughed as I stood up.</i>
</p><p>
  <i>“Exactly why we should do it. He’s yelling at me right now.” she rolled her eyes dramatically again. “They never let me have any fucking fun. Fuckers.”</i>
</p><p>
  <i>“How about we stick with getting the wig first? Then we’ll think about the eyebrows.” I compromised, knowing that Kevin and Barry would NOT appreciate having their eyebrows bleached and dyed. I was hoping that the wig would distract her enough and she’d forget about the eyebrows.</i>
</p><p>
  <i>“Fine,” she sighed, I could tell she was disappointed and for a second I worried if that meant she wouldn’t like me, but then she looked at me. “Can we go now? We could come back and get pizza and do our nails after, make it a girl's day!” </i>
</p><p>
  <i>“Let’s do it!”</i>
</p><p>
  <i></i>
</p>
<p></p><div class="center">
  <p>✸✸✸</p>
</div><i><br/>The first stop we made was getting the wig for Jade. We settled on a bright pink wig where the hair fell just above her shoulders and it actually looked cute on her. We spent the day walking around Rittenhouse, got the gift for Maisie, then went back to Kevin’s, ordered pizza, and started doing our nails.</i><p>
  <i>“Are you a virgin?” Jade asked, seemingly out of nowhere while I painted her nails pink to match her wig. She had just finished mine and we were giving them time to dry.</i>
</p><p>
  <i>My eyes widened. “I- what-” I stammered, looking up at her. I was shocked by how forward she was… but then again, Kevin and Barry both warned me. Regardless, I still wasn’t expecting her to be that forward.</i>
</p><p>
  <i>“Have you… you know,” she lowered her voice and smirked. “Fucked anyone before.” </i>
</p><p>
  <i>“Oh, uhm…” I hesitated. Her saying it like that made me get even more nervous as my cheeks burned and I tried to focus on painting her nails. I just finished with the last finger on her left hand and she pulled it away to inspect them.</i>
</p><p>
  <i>“Don’t worry, it’s just us girls. Well, and Barry, but I won’t tell anyone. You know he won’t either.” she smiled, looking at me expectedly. Normally, I had no reserve talking about things like this with Maisie, but I just met Jade, and she’s also a teenager so this was the last conversation we should be having right now.</i>
</p><p>
  <i>“It’s not that… uhm, how old are you?” </i>
</p><p>
  <i>“16, but I know what sex is, obviously.” she rolled her eyes and blew on her nails.</i>
</p><p>
  <i>“Oh well… I mean, I have…” I admitted, unsure of whether or not I even should have. I was a little caught off-guard as I said before.</i>
</p><p>
  <i>“Like a lot?” </i>
</p><p>
  <i>My face immediately heated up even more, no doubt a shade of red. “Not like… a lot a lot. I mean, probably average for my age…” I hesitated, wondering if that were even true. Before breaking up with Wyatt, it had only been 2 people including him, but during those 3 months I hooked up with like… 6 or 7 people so I think that’s probably a lie, but I wasn’t about to admit that. Especially to Jade.</i>
</p><p>
  <i>“Oh. Do you like girls too? Barry said you give off the bi-vibe.” </i>
</p><p>
  <i>“The bi-vibe?” I said rhetorically, laughing a bit at the idea of it. That and I pictured Barry saying it.</i>
</p><p>
  <i>“Yeah, when you like girls and guys, duh.” she shrugged her shoulders.</i>
</p><p>
  <i>“Oh, I know what it means, I just thought it was funny. But yeah, I like girls too.” I admitted honestly. I didn’t feel uncomfortable or shy admitting that. I was out of the closet with everyone. My father hates the idea of it and pretends that I’m not and thinks being bisexual isn’t even a thing, but that’s not surprising. Everyone else in my life has been accepting of it. I only came to terms and admitted it my freshman year of college when I kissed a girl for the first time.</i>
</p><p>
  <i>“Have you ever had sex with a girl?” Jade asked, raising her brows.</i>
</p><p>
  <i>My eyes widened again at her forwardness. “I, uh-” I stammered once again, not knowing if that’s something I should be talking to a 16-year-old about. She sure is outspoken. Reminds me of Barry, but at least Barry is older and I wouldn’t be embarrassed to talk about sex with him.</i>
</p><p>
  <i>“I hear sex with girls is better than with guys. I wouldn’t know though, obviously.”</i>
</p><p>
  <i>“Oh, well… I mean, I guess it depends on the person really. Some people are just bad in bed and others are good.” I explained because that was true in my experience. Not going to lie though, the women I’ve been with are always much better at oral than the guys I’ve been with, but I didn’t want to go into that detail with Jade.</i>
</p><p>
  <i>“It’s the practice that helps then, right? Kevin isn’t that experienced, so if he sucks, just give him a chance to make it better. I really like you and I’d hate for you to break up because he doesn’t know how to use it.”</i>
</p><p>
  <i>“We haven’t exactly done anything yet…” I admitted, kicking myself for it too. I probably shouldn’t have said that. </i>
</p><p>
  <i>Her eyes widened and she looked at me. “What? No way! You’ve been dating for 2 months, time to get on that ‘d’, baby!” she teased.</i>
</p><p>
  <i>“Jade!” I exclaimed, this time showing the fact that I was shocked. She did not hold back.</i>
</p><p>
  <i>“What?” she asked, raising her brows as if she didn’t just say that.</i>
</p><p>
  <i>“If you must know, I didn’t want to push him…” </i>
</p><p>
  <i>“Well, he needs to lock it down before you move onto someone who will.” she shrugged, blowing on her nails.</i>
</p><p>
  <i>“I’m not going to leave because he doesn’t put out, that wouldn’t be right,” I said, shaking my head. It really wouldn’t be, I’d never leave someone just because they didn’t put out.</i>
</p><p>
  <i>“But you want to? Have sex with him, I mean.”</i>
</p><p>
  <i>“Well, I mean, yeah. That’s one of the things that goes in part with a romantic relationship… but we haven’t even talked about it yet. I’m fine with waiting.” I confessed. I felt the need to be honest with her. I was worried she’d get the wrong impression of me.</i>
</p><p>
  <i>“Well, he knows you want to now so don’t be surprised if he gives it to you sooner rather than later. He wants to and has for a while, he’s just nervous because he’s only done it with one girl before and she was like a dead fish.” she sneered, rolling her eyes. </i>
</p><p>
  <i>I scrunched my nose. “Oh well, that’s… terrible,” I said sympathetically. That must have sucked for him. I hope I’m not that bad in bed… I mean I’ve had favorable experiences and I was in a relationship for 2 years with the same person so I can’t be that bad. Then I thought of something, how did she know that? “Wait.. how do you even know this? Are you co-conscious too?” I asked, raising my brows. I really hoped not because that means she’d know that Kevin and I made out and she’d like… experience that with us… I think? I’m still not totally sure how co-consciousness works. </i>
</p><p>
  <i>“God no. Only Barry is at all times and Kevin sometimes does, like he is now. You should hear him right now.” she rolled her eyes. “I hope I helped break the ice and you guys get it on now,” she smirked. I nodded, not really listening to what she said because I was just relieved that she wasn’t co-conscious with Kevin. “Ugh, fine, whatever.” she sighed dramatically. I looked up at her, confused as to who she was talking to. “Kevin says I need to stop talking about sex because it’s making him uncomfy. Is it making you uncomfy?”</i>
</p><p>
  <i>“Maybe a little bit…” I admitted, looking down at my hands. </i>
</p><p>
  <i>“Oh sorry. Kevin says I come on too hard, but fuck him.” she laughed and shrugged.</i>
</p><p>
  <i>“It’s okay. I think it’s just the age difference that’s getting me…” I said honestly.</i>
</p><p>
  <i>“I get it, I’m only 16. But I know a lot more than you’d expect.” </i>
</p><p>
  <i>“I don’t doubt it.” </i>
</p><p>
  <i>“Anyway. I could go for some Oreos right about now. I have to take my insulin shot too, I’ll be right back.” she shrugged, getting up and walking away. </i>
</p><p>
  <i>I let out a small breath. That was kind of awkward, to say the least… but I appreciated how open Jade was being with me and that she liked me right away. So I guess regardless of how painful that conversation was for me, I think it was a good sign.</i>
</p><p>
  <i>I put the nail polish bottle on the coffee table and blew on my nails. I tapped them together to see if they stuck and they didn’t, but I still didn’t want to risk it. I blew on them more as I saw Jade walk back into the room with the package of Oreos. She stopped in her tracks and blinked, sighing as she threw her head back. She looked back at me and looked wildly confused. I had a feeling it was no longer Jade.</i>
</p><p>
  <i>“What the heck is on my head…” it was definitely Kevin. He took the wig off and looked at it in shock. I bit my lip, trying to hold back a laugh. It was moreso a laugh at his reaction, not the wig being on. Jade rocked it. “Did you let me walk around in that all day?”</i>
</p><p>
  <i>“It made Jade happy, babe. Plus, she looked hot.” I gushed, unable to hold back my laugh.</i>
</p><p>
  <i>“She might have, but I didn’t,” he argued, putting the wig and the cookies on the coffee table.</i>
</p><p>
  <i>“Yes, you did. You always look hot.” I teased, grabbing his shoulder and kissing his cheek when he sat down next to me.</i>
</p><p>
  <i>“Y-you think so?” he asked, sounding a little shocked.</i>
</p><p>
  <i>“Oh yeah.” I gushed, smiling at him and rubbing his back. “Especially when you’re in the zone at work. Using that hammer? Ugh,” I sighed dramatically. “And being up on that ladder? Oh god, you make me swoon.” I would have said he turned me on because it would have been the truth, but I didn’t want to risk being too forward and making him… uncomfy, as Jade would say.</i>
</p><p>
  <i>“Even with the pink nails?” he asked, looking down at his nails that were all painted pink.</i>
</p><p>
  <i>I laughed and nodded. “Even with pink nails, babe.”</i>
</p><p>
  <i>“I can’t tell if you’re being sarcastic or not.” he hesitated, shifting in his seat and looking insecure.</i>
</p><p>
  <i>“I’m not, Kevin,” I admitted as I grabbed onto the back of his neck and kissed him. </i>
</p><p>
  <i>He sighed happily into the kiss and I couldn’t help but smile as I wrapped my arms around his neck. He moved his hands to my hips and pulled me closer to him. He’s gotten a lot more comfortable to have his hands on my body now, after much coaxing from me. He said before that he didn’t want to go too far if I wasn’t ready, but now he knows for sure now that I’m ready for the next step thanks to Jade. And now I know he is too, but I was unsure of when that would happen exactly. I was hoping that maybe it could be now, but that seemed unlikely when he pulled away.</i>
</p><p>
  <i>“So… does this mean Jade really did break the ice?” he asked, much to my surprise.</i>
</p><p>
  <i>“Oh, uhm… well, I’m ready when you are. There’s no rush.” I assured him as I rubbed the back of his head with my thumb lightly, his hair pricking it lightly.</i>
</p><p>
  <i>“I think I’m ready now…” he admitted shyly.</i>
</p><p>
  <i>“Really?” I asked, my face lighting up. </i>
</p><p>
  <i>He nodded and smiled. “Yeah,” he kissed my lips lightly, cupping my cheeks. He then pulled away and looked straight into my eyes. “I want to do this with you.” </i>
</p><p>
  <i>“Okay, Kevin.” I smiled as I pecked his lips once more before standing up and taking his hand, leading him to his bedroom.</i>
</p><p>
  <i>“You’re going to have to be patient with me, I haven’t… done this in a while…” he admitted as we walked into the room. </i>
</p><p>
  <i>I stopped and turned to face him. “Just don’t be nervous, okay Kevin?” I wrapped my arms around his neck. “I want you to be comfortable and we’ll take it as slow as you want,” I assured him, rubbing my thumb along the back of his head. </i>
</p><p>
  <i>Kevin nodded and leaned in to kiss my lips gently at first. I could tell he was nervous and hesitant in the beginning, but soon we got lost in the kiss. His lips were familiar and soon we fell into the same pattern of his tongue being in my mouth and our tongues swirling around each other’s, kissing each other hungrily.</i>
</p><p>
  <i>He moved his hand to my hips and pulled my body against his. I could faintly feel the outline of his bulge in his jeans against my thigh and it sent a shiver down my spine. I almost reached right for it, wanting to feel him in my hand, but I remembered that we were going to take it slow tonight. </i>
</p><p>
  <i>For now, I settled for tugging off Jade’s pink hoodie, which he helped me get off and threw it on the floor. I led him to the bed as our tongues danced, pulling away for a second to pull his shirt over his head. I took a second to look at his six-pack and I ran my palm along them as I bit my lip. Sure, I’d seen him shirtless once before when he was changing out of his work shirt, but not like this… it was different like this. </i>
</p><p>
  <i>Kevin cupped my cheek and pulled my lips to his, walking me back towards the bed. He broke the kiss and surprised me by picking me up bridal style and placing me on the bed gently. He bit his lip as he crawled on top of me. That alone sent a pulsating feeling through my entire body and more specifically to my pussy, which was already throbbing and begging for his touch. I sat up as he took my shirt off and threw it on the ground. I grabbed onto the back of his neck and pulled him into another heated kiss as his hands slid behind my back and fumbled with my bra. I could tell he was nervous because his hands were a little sweaty and he was having difficulty taking my bra off.</i>
</p><p>
  <i>“Let me,” I mumbled, moving his hands and unhooking my bra. “Sometimes the clasp gets stuck,” I assured him. I didn’t want him to feel bad or awkward that he couldn’t take it off. He nodded as I pulled the bra off and dropped it on the floor. I didn’t hesitate to pull him into another kiss. He cupped my breasts, gently at first and I whimpered into the kiss softly. I could tell he wasn’t expecting that because his tongue paused for a second before it continued to swirl around mine. </i>
</p><p>
  <i>The furthest we’ve ever gotten was making out and I let him massage my breasts under my shirt with my shirt a couple of weeks ago, but even then my bra was still on. Regardless, I could tell he was a little more comfortable doing this. We just needed to take baby steps. </i>
</p><p>
  <i>He broke away from my lips and I whimpered, missing the feeling of his lips against mine immediately. I heard him chuckle softly as he kissed my cheek to my neck, quickly finding my sweet spot that he knew exactly where it was from our many make-out sessions, and he sucked on it gently, careful not to leave a visible mark. He continued to palm my breasts, so I moaned softly and tilted my head to the side to allow him more access. </i>
</p><p>
  <i>He was hovering over my body, so I couldn’t feel him against me, but I wanted to, so I wrapped my legs around his waist and pulled his body down against mine. I heard him gasp in shock against my neck, but then I also heard him groan quietly. I took that as my motivation to continue with what I was doing. He left a trail of kisses down my neck and between my breasts before taking one of my nipples in his mouth and sucking gently. I moaned happily as I bucked my hips against his. </i>
</p><p>
  <i>Now I felt a clear outline of his bulge in his jeans through mine and I craved more, so I moved my hand between us and palmed him through his jeans. He groaned against my breast, lightly nipping at my nipple and bucking his hips into my hand in response. I gasped softly and continued to stroke him through his jeans. </i>
</p><p>
  <i>Although I didn’t want to risk moving too fast for him, I knew I was already soaked through my panties by now and I wanted him so bad - I yearned for him and I didn’t want to wait too much longer before I finally had him inside of me. I unbuttoned and unzipped his jeans slowly, waiting to see if he’d resist or hesitate at any point, but he didn’t. He continued to suck on my nipple, moving to the other one as I pushed his jeans and boxers down.</i>
</p><p>
  <i>I pulled back slightly to look down at his cock when it sprung free from his boxers. I couldn’t help the “Oh wow” that escaped my lips when I finally saw his cock. He was honestly bigger than I expected - I don’t really know what I was expecting actually. But he was big - a little bigger than average and bigger than I’m used to, there’s no denying that.</i>
</p><p>
  <i>“Is that a good ‘oh wow’ or a bad one?” Kevin asked nervously, looking down at me.</i>
</p><p>
  <i>I kicked myself mentally when I realized I had said that out loud. “Good, baby. You’re so big…” I cooed as I wrapped my hand around his length and pumped his cock a few times. I rubbed my thumb over the tip to spread the precum around and he groaned in response, shutting his eyes for a second and relaxing into my touch. </i>
</p><p>
  <i>For a second I got nervous that he was switching and I pulled my hand away. “Kevin?”</i>
</p><p>
  <i>“Still me.” he opened his eyes and kissed my lips lightly. He moved his hand down to unbutton my jeans. I helped him get my jeans and panties off and he got up to take his jeans and boxers off all the way.</i>
</p><p>
  <i>At that moment, I felt so vulnerable. I haven’t revealed myself this much to him before and I felt a little insecure. Kevin looked at me, his eyes scanning my body as he crawled on top of me. Without realizing it, I put my hands over the scar on my stomach as if to hide it from him. He’d seen it before when I showed him after I told him it was from the time my father was drunk and came at me with a knife.</i>
</p><p>
  <i>“You’re so beautiful…” he moved my hands gently and kissed my hands and then my scar. I couldn’t help but smile as he did that, he made me feel so loved and accepted. I remember the first time he saw it, he called it a battle scar and said that it meant I’ve been through so much, but I’m still here and that’s all that matters. “The most beautiful woman in the world.”</i>
</p><p>
  <i>“I highly doubt you’ve seen every woman in the world, Kevin.” I laughed.</i>
</p><p>
  <i>“I don’t need to.” he smiled, looking up at me and kissing my lips gently. I smiled and kissed back, wrapping my arms around his neck as his hand moved down my curves and in between my legs to my aching bundle of nerves that begged to be touched. His finger brushed against it gently and I moaned into the kiss, bucking my hips into his hand to get the friction my clit craved. </i>
</p><p>
  <i>Kevin started to caress my clit gently, rubbing it in slow, tight circles. I moaned, pulling away from his lips and looking up at him. “Kevin, please…” I begged. He gave me a confused look, unsure of what I wanted. “Please, I need you.” Kevin’s eyes widened slightly when he realized exactly what I wanted and he nodded quickly. “Do you have a condom?” I asked, realizing I should have asked before we even started. </i>
</p><p>
  <i>“Y-yeah, let me get one.” he nodded, getting off of me for a second. I bit my lip as I looked at the ceiling, thinking about what was going to happen. I pushed my thighs together to relieve some of the tension built up in my clit as I heard him unwrap the condom and slip it on his cock. He got back on top of me and looked down at me and I could tell he was nervous by the sweat on his forehead. “Ready?”</i>
</p><p>
  <i>I nodded and bit my lip, bracing myself as he slipped inside of me painfully slow. “Fuck...” I whimpered, grabbing onto his shoulders and digging my nails into them as I arched my back when I felt his cock stretch me out.</i>
</p><p>
  <i>“Y-you okay?” he hesitated nervously as he completely filled my aching pussy with his hard cock.</i>
</p><p>
  <i>“Mhm, please baby,” I begged, biting my lip as I looked up at him and cupped his cheek. I was hoping he’d catch onto what I was asking for and when he didn’t, I bucked my hips up to show him I was ready. He got the hint and started to thrust in and out of me slowly as if he were worried about hurting me or something. While I appreciated that, I still liked it a little rougher than that. “Harder baby.” I panted, wrapping my arms around his neck.</i>
</p><p>
  <i>Kevin took this as his cue to go harder and actually started to pick up the pace. I moaned as he thrust in and out of me, wrapping my legs around his waist to allow for a better and deeper angle. We both moaned at that and I even clenched around him, causing his eyes to roll back. Normally, I’d be worried he was about to switch, but I was so caught up in the feeling of his cock buried deep inside of me that I didn’t even pay any mind to it. Thankfully, it was still Kevin who continued to fuck me. </i>
</p><p>
  <i>“I can’t- I can’t hold on much longer.” he panted apologetically. Given the fact that he hasn’t had sex in a while, I wasn’t surprised.</i>
</p><p>
  <i>“It’s okay baby, keep going…” I assured him, clenching around him again, earning another groan from him. I wasn’t as close as he was, so I moved my hand to rub my clit. Hearing his grunts and curses and pants as he fucked me, along with my rubbing my clit fast, sent me over the edge rather quickly. “Fuck, Kevin!” I moaned his name as I came around his cock hard, my pussy clenching around him hard. </i>
</p><p>
  <i>Seconds later, he groaned loudly and buried his head into my neck, and thrust one last time before I felt the warmth of his cum pool into the condom. We laid there for a couple of minutes, catching our breath as I felt his cock go limp inside of me. I enjoyed the feeling of being so close to him, I honestly wouldn’t have minded if he stayed like that for a little longer. </i>
</p><p>
  <i>“How was that? Was it good?” Kevin asked nervously, picking his face up from my neck and looking at me with a worried expression.</i>
</p><p>
  <i>“Kevin, baby, it was great.” I smiled as I cupped his face and kissed his lips gently. “It was amazing.” I kissed his forehead and smiled. He sighed in relief and nodded, resting his forehead against my lips. We laid there like that for a few seconds, still recovering. I thought about what Jade would say to this finally happening. “I can’t wait to tell Jade we finally did it!” I teased with a smirk.</i>
</p><p>
  <i>“Oh god, please don’t. She already knows way too much.” he sighed, dropping his head onto my shoulder.</i>
</p><p>
  <i>I laughed. “I’m kidding, I won’t, babe.”</i>
</p><p>
  <i>“Thank god.” he sighed, looking up at me with a chuckle.</i>
</p><p>
  <i>“Barry on the other hand…” I trailed off with a smirk.</i>
</p><p>
  <i>“He already knows.” </i>
</p><p>
  <i>“Does he now? I hope he enjoyed the show.” I winked.</i>
</p><p>
  <i>“Oh, he did.” he laughed, shaking his head. “This is all I’m going to hear about from now on.” </i>
</p><p>
  <i>“You say that like it’s a bad thing. You don’t want to be reminded about the amazing first time you had with your girlfriend every day?” I smirked, rubbing circles on his back.</i>
</p><p>
  <i>“Well, you’re right, it was amazing,” he admitted, smiling.</i>
</p><p>
  <i>“I guess we can thank Jade for breaking the ice?” I laughed.</i>
</p><p>
  <i>“Let’s maybe not mention Jade while I’m still inside of you, baby…” </i>
</p><p>
  <i>“Oh, right.” I laughed, shaking my head.</i>
</p><p>
  <i>“I should probably get out, right?”</i>
</p><p>
  <i>“I mean, you can stay.” I wrapped my arms around him. “I like being this close to you.”</i>
</p><p>
  <i>“I do too.” he smiled, resting his head on my chest as I stroked his head, the stubble of his slightly grown out hair pricking my finger softly.</i>
</p><p>
  <i>Yep, definitely going to thank Jade for this. In my head, anyway. I will never mention this to her, although, I’m sure she’ll find out eventually. Word always gets around somehow in Kevin’s head. I knew I not only wouldn’t hear the end of it from Barry but also Jade whenever she found out. It was totally, completely 100% worth it though.<br/>
</i>
</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0007"><h2>7. Red Flags</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Sophie’s ex Wyatt texts her that he misses her and won’t leave her alone. She hides it from Kevin because it seems like he’s already going through a lot internally that’s starting to affect the way he’s acting. Sophie starts to wonder if Kevin isn’t as stable as he once was.</p>
          </blockquote><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p><b><br/>    <i>Date: Late January 2014 - Early February 2014 (present to the story)</i><br/>Word count: 7.5k<br/>Chapter warnings:<br/>  </b><br/>  <i> cursing/adult language, talking about sexual themes, mentions of past abuse/child abuse, angst, mentions of alcoholism, mentions of self-harm</i><br/><b>Author’s Note:</b> So this is super long and it kind of somehow just got away from me. I felt like I had so much to add into it and it couldn’t really be broken up into different parts. I hope that doesn’t discourage you from reading! This part is pretty important for the progression of the story. I hope you enjoy it!</p><p> </p><p>  <i>Also, I just started school, so I’m going to start posting every other Saturday instead of every Saturday. I hope you all understand, this is just to avoid stress and what not! </i></p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    
<p></p><div class="center">
  <p>
    <b>Chapter Seven</b><br/>
<i>Red Flags</i>
  </p>
</div><i>
  <br/>
  <b>I miss u. Can we talk?</b>
  <br/>
</i><p>After reading Wyatt’s text, I felt my stomach drop. ‘I miss you’ was red flag number one. He hasn’t texted me in over 4 months and those texts were drunk texts that made absolutely no sense. </p><p>He had a hard time dealing with the fact that I moved on with someone else and he didn’t. When I broke up with him he turned into a total asshole and said “you won’t find someone who will put up with your shit like I will”. He was referring to my depression and PTSD from my childhood trauma. It was just low. And guess what Wyatt, I did find someone who will put up with it, you dick, and he’s better than you ever were. </p><p>I debated on whether or not I should text him back. I didn’t want to give in to his ‘I miss you’ text on account I didn’t want him to think I still cared about him in a romantic way and I thought he was probably drunk or something. He usually types words out fully, not using a letter for it. </p><p>However, he has a history of depression and has tried to self-harm while we were together but I was there and stopped him, so part of me was a little concerned. I knew I shouldn’t get involved with him again, especially because of our history, but part of me needed to know he was okay, so I texted back.</p><p>Me: <i><b>Is everything okay?</b></i><br/>
Wyatt:<i><b> Csn we talk?</b></i><br/>
Me: <i><b>About what?</b></i></p><p>I didn’t want to blow him off just yet. Sure, I was a little angry and bothered as all of the memories of our break up and the horrible things he said came flooding back, not to mention all those drunk texts since our breakup. I was more frustrated that he was even texting me in the first place, but I didn’t want to upset him more if he was already upset or in a bad headspace. Maybe I’m just too nice, I’ve been told that I am before. Multiple times. Hell, Wyatt has told me I’m too nice before.</p><p>Wyatt: <i><b>I just misd u a lot</b></i></p><p>There it was. The typo. He was most definitely drunk. I didn't notice the first one, but this one was hard to miss. I sighed, hesitating before answering even though part of me knew this conversation would go like the other drunk text conversations from him - absolutely nowhere.</p><p>Me: <i><b>I’m sorry you do but I can’t go through this again with you. I’m with Kevin and we’re extremely happy and I don’t want anything to ruin it</b></i><br/>
Wyatt: <i><b>I know bit I just nred to talk to u, it’S importnt</b></i><br/>
Me: <i><b>I don’t think that’s a good idea</b></i><br/>
Wyatt: <i><b>I stoll live u</b></i></p><p>I gulped when I read that text. Part of me knew it was coming, I just didn’t want to believe it until I saw it. This is what he does every time he drunk texts me. He had an unhealthy attachment to me and alcohol. That was another reason why I broke it off. He’d get drunk and alcohol makes people do stupid things. </p><p>Me: <i><b>And I’m sorry you do but there’s nothing that can be done now</b></i><br/>
Wyatt: <i><b>Do yu lovr me too?</b></i><br/>
Me: <i><b>Not the way you want me to<br/>
</b></i><br/>
I replied. I was honest, too. I don’t think you can spend 2 years of your life with someone and not love them, even after you break up. I didn’t love him like I used to though, that’s for sure. And I definitely don’t love him like I love Kevin at all. What I’m saying is that I love him as a person and a friend (even though I know we don’t talk like friends). I’m not in love with him. I didn’t even know if that made sense honestly.</p><p>Wyatt: <i><b>Do yoi miss me?</b></i><br/>
Me: <i><b>Sometimes, just not in the way you want me to</b></i><br/>
Wyatt: <i><b>wtf does that men</b></i><br/>
Me: <i><b>I don’t miss what we had romantically but I miss our friendship </b></i><br/>
Me: <i><b>I can’t talk to you right now when you’re like this, so text me back when you’re sober and we can talk more if you still want to</b></i></p><p>I don’t even know why I said that really. I mean, I’ve said it in the past and he hasn’t taken me up on the offer. I honestly didn’t need his closure, but apparently, he only needs it when he’s drowning in alcohol and making bad decisions, not when he’s right-minded and sober. That says a lot.</p><p>Wyatt: <i><b>Do yu still thunk about us?</b></i><br/>
Me: <i><b>Sometimes but only when something reminds me of you and I think about the good times we had but then I also think about the not so good times and how we’re better of the way we are now</b></i></p><p>I know I shouldn’t be giving in to this but I always felt the need to explain myself to people. And I’m not going to lie, Wyatt was a weakness and always will be to an extent. No matter how many times he comes into my life, it’s hard for me to push him out fully. Not because I still love him, but because part of me still cares for him. I honestly feel a little bad for him.</p><p>Wyatt: <i><b>your suck a bich</b></i><br/>
Me: <i><b>Excuse me?</b></i><br/>
Wyatt: <i><b>youre a lisr. U don’t men that</b></i><br/>
Me:<i></i><b> Now you’re just being a dick. We’re done with this conversation.<br/>
</b><br/>
And then he went and did shit like this. I groaned angrily as I put my phone in my pocket and rolled my eyes. I went downstairs to make popcorn and get Oreos while I waited for Jade to finish changing. My phone kept vibrating here and there in my pocket, but I ignored it. </p><p>I was still annoyed with him for what he said, I mean, who wouldn’t be? It was so uncalled for and just because I didn’t give in to him the way he wanted and tell him I love and miss him too like the way he wanted me to. It’s been so long and I’m obviously with Kevin and we’re more than content and happy with our relationship, Wyatt needed to move on. For good. I’ll tell him that when he’s sober and when it can actually sink in.</p><p>I had just brought the popcorn and Oreos into the living room when Jade came rushing down the stairs in her matching purple pajamas.</p><p>“Okay, tell me everything! How’d he do it?!” she exclaimed, bouncing down on the couch. I knew she was referring to how Kevin proposed to me.</p><p>“He put the ring in a slice of cheesecake on our 7 month anniversary. It surprised the hell out of me.” I laughed, trying to push the thought of mine and Wyatt’s infuriating text exchange to the back of my mind.</p><p>“What did he say when he asked? Don’t tell me it was just a boring ‘you make me happy, will you marry me?’ bullshit.” she scoffed, rolling her eyes at the idea of it.</p><p>“No, no… he said something really sweet. That I accept him for who he is and he loves me so much and stuff like that. It was rather romantic.” I explained, smiling as I looked down at the ring and remembered everything he said to me.</p><p>“Yawn. Nothing like ‘and the sex is amazing’, or ‘mindblowing’ as Barry would say?” she smirked.</p><p>“How did you know that?” I asked, a little snappy as my cheeks burned. Jade seemed to know everything about everything. We quite frequently gossiped about the alters (all good things, of course, just in case they were listening). But since she wasn’t co-conscious, I always wondered how she heard the things she heard.</p><p>“I heard Barry say it once when I wanted to come into the light, but after hearing that, I decided not to. Kevin wanted to have his fun with you anyway,” she smirked again and winked at me.</p><p>“Oh god.” I blushed as I shook my head.</p><p>“So no mention of the sex? Hmm…”</p><p>“Not during the proposal, it probably would have ruined the romantic aspect of it.” </p><p>“You’re right, but it was on your anniversary, so I bet the sex was mindblowing then. I mean, for your sake I hope it was,” she said sincerely, putting her hand on my shoulder as she laughed.</p><p>“Jade!” I exclaimed, a little embarrassed to say the least but that’s mostly because it was true and I don’t think I’d be able to hide that from her if she asked me straight-up.</p><p>“Sorry, sex stuff again.” Jade apologized, quickly changing the subject. “Oh and I better be your maid of honor.” </p><p>“I was planning on asking Maisie because I’ve known her for so long…” I hesitated, not wanting to make her feel bad. Maisie and I have always talked about being each other’s maid of honor when we finally got married. It was a promise I didn’t want to break.</p><p>“Fine, but I better be a bridesmaid,” she replied, shrugging. </p><p>“I don’t know how that would work...” I admitted, thinking about how we could make that happen. It didn’t seem possible to have both Kevin and Jade there at the same time. Plus, I knew some of the others would want to be there too. I didn’t even think about how hard that’s going to be for them that they can’t be there and I want to include them all somehow, but I also want Kevin to just be Kevin for our wedding.</p><p>Also, when I thought about it, I don’t even know if Kevin and I will even have a big wedding. I mean, I already think weddings are so overpriced and I’m sure Kevin doesn’t want that many people there. My father most likely won’t be there anyway. I’d definitely want my mom, my aunt Karen, Maisie, and Miles there, as well as my friends Anya, Taylor, and James that I’ve known for a really long time. I think Kevin would want to invite a couple of his work friends (he doesn’t really have friends outside of work), especially Sal (I think Sal would be his best man) and at the end of the day, it’ll probably be less than 20 people who we’d invite. It was so much we had to talk about, we just haven’t had the time to. I haven’t even thought about it honestly. We just wanted to relax and enjoy being engaged before we rushed to plan anything.</p><p>“I’ll be there in spirit!” Jade assured me as she patted my leg. I smiled and nodded. “Let’s watch a movie. I’ve been dying to see ‘Playing it Cool’ with Chris Evans. Now THAT’S who I call sex on legs.” she gushed, thankfully changing the subject.</p><p>“Sure. And you’re not wrong.” I admitted, chuckling.</p><p>“Right!” she agreed and laughed as I took the bowl of popcorn and sat back on the couch while she rented the movie through on-demand. </p><p>Throughout the movie, I kept feeling my phone vibrate in my pocket of my pajamas here and there. I was dead-set on ignoring it until Jade finally said something.</p><p>“Someone clearly needs to talk to you.” she scoffed, rolling her eyes. I could tell she was annoyed by it and I felt bad. I was annoyed by it too but I probably should have at least put it on silent.</p><p>“Sorry, I’ll put it on silent.” I pulled the phone out of my pocket.</p><p>“You’re so popular. I wish I had that many friends. Hell, I wish I had friends, period.”</p><p>“Jade, you have friends.” I disagreed with her, although I was too detached to hear her response as I read the preview of one of the 10 texts Wyatt sent: <i></i><b>I’m dorry, pls talk to ne. </b>I didn’t mean to do this but I scoffed and rolled my eyes before turning the vibration off and putting my phone on the couch next to me.</p><p>“Wow you look pissed, is everything okay?” Jade asked, raising her brows at me.</p><p>“Yeah, it’s nothing.” I deflected, shaking my head. Frankly, I wanted to forget about it completely and never mention it again. I looked back at the TV, but I knew Jade wasn’t going to let that happen.</p><p>“It doesn’t sound like nothing. Who is it?” she pushed, I knew she was going to be relentless until I gave in.</p><p>I sighed and looked at her. “My ex, Wyatt. He’s just being annoying.” I confessed, looking down at my hands. I was worried about whether or not she’d judge me or something. I mean, why, would I be worried about that? I have no idea. Jade has never judged me before.</p><p>“No way, what’s he saying?” she raised her brows, sitting up in her seat more, clearly intrigued.</p><p>“He’s just messaging me and telling me he misses me. He does this sometimes out of the blue, especially when he’s drunk. I saw on Facebook that he was with a girl named Stephanie - not that I was stalking him or anything - but they must have just broken up or had a fight or something. This happens whenever he has a falling out with someone he’s dating. He always comes back to me for some stupid reason and it’s so frustrating. Probably because I let him walk all over me in the past.” I realized at that moment it was because I let him walk all over me and when I thought about it, it made sense. I’m basically a freaking doormat when I think about it, but I’m working on that. </p><p>“Well, you can’t let him walk all over you. I mean, fuck him. You’re amazing and deserve so much better. He had his chance and now he can drown in his pathetic baby tears. Boo fucking woo, he’s an asshole, fuck off. Goodbye.” she preached, shoving popcorn in her mouth. </p><p>I nodded, actually agreeing with her. “Wow, you’re right.”</p><p>“I know, I usually am.” she shrugged, grabbing an oreo and opening it to lick the icing out as she always did.</p><p>“I just need to get my mind off of it, the movie will help.”</p><p>“Or I could get Kevin and you two could… you know.” she winked.</p><p>My cheeks burned, I should have seen that coming. “Oh my god, no, Jade! Besides, it’s our sleepover night. Chris Evans will help me forget.” I joked. She looked at me and we both giggled when I said Chris Evans. I mean, Jade did say he’s like sex on legs. I agreed with her shamelessly. “Hey, Jade…” I mentioned after a few seconds of silence.</p><p>“Hmm?”</p><p>“Can you do me a favor and not tell anyone about Wyatt texting me? I’d rather tell Kevin myself…” I hesitated, wondering if I even would tell Kevin.</p><p>“Yeah, totally. Your secret’s safe with me. My lips are sealed.” she did the motions of zipping her lips and throwing away the key before looking back at the TV. I smiled then directed my attention back to the TV. “Do you and Kevin do ‘free passes’?” she asked curiously after a few minutes of watching the movie in silence. She usually liked to talk during movies, which could get a bit frustrating, but she sure kept me on my toes.</p><p>“No, why?” I asked as I raised my brows.</p><p>“No big deal, just wondering. I mean, if I had free passes, Chris Evans would definitely be at the top of that list.” she shrugged nonchalantly as she licked the icing out of another Oreo.</p><p>“Oh, well, I don’t blame you but Kevin and I don’t do free passes.”</p><p>“Hypothetically speaking, if you were to, who would be on your list?” she probed, seeming to focus all of her attention on that Oreo.</p><p>“I haven’t really thought about it, I mean… I guess Chris Evans would probably be on the list.” I admitted. It wasn’t a lie, but I also couldn’t think of anyone else because I was put on the spot. If I had time to think more about it, I’d probably add Jennifer Lawrance and Tom Hiddleston to that list, not going to lie.</p><p>“No way! We should totally have a threesome!”</p><p>“Jade! You’re 16!” I exclaimed, hitting her with a pillow.</p><p>She smirked and laughed. “I was kidding!”</p><p>“No, you weren’t,” I called her out. She just giggled and shrugged, eating the cookies from the Oreo as she directed her attention back at the TV. With Jade, it’s never a dull moment and that’s what I love about her.</p>
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</div>The next day, I spent the day with Hedwig. We went to the arcade and got ice cream as I had planned for him. I wanted to make sure he fully understood and was comfortable with the engagement still, so we talked about that and he seemed to be at ease with the whole thing, which was good.<p>The day after that, which was Sunday, I met up with Maisie and Miles in Fairmount Park for lunch - specifically Philly cheesesteaks. We got them and found a spot to sit. You’d have to be pretty bold to get a Philly cheesesteak and walk around while eating it, so we opted to sit down.</p><p>“So what’s new? I feel like we haven’t hung out in so long.” Maisie said as she took a bite of her cheesesteak. </p><p>“Yeah, it’s been a while. School and work have been crazy.” I agreed, letting out a sigh. It has been, we haven’t seen each other in a little over a week, except in passing at the zoo. Miles and I work together with the penguins, so we’ve seen each other a few times. </p><p>“We all know it’s Kevin who’s crazy,” Miles mentioned, taking a huge bite of his cheesesteak; a string of melted cheese dripping from the cheesesteak to his mouth, which he pulled away further until it landed on the table. <i>Gross</i>. My eyes widened when he said that Kevin was crazy and my stomach dropped. Did he find out about Kevin’s DID or something? Why would he say that? He usually wasn’t judging enough to call someone with a mental disorder crazy. Thankfully, he continued on: “Maisie told me about your anniversary night sex session, and <i>fuck,</i> I didn’t think he had it in him.”</p><p>My jaw dropped as I looked at Maisie. “Maisie!”</p><p>“What! I was excited for you because he’s not as vanilla as I thought.” Maisie shrugged, taking another bite of her cheesesteak. She had absolutely no shame in spilling secret information apparently. I scoffed and rolled my eyes, using my fork and knife to cut into the cheesesteak. They always made fun of me and said I wasn’t a true Philly because of that. I can’t help it that I don’t want to make a mess.</p><p>“I hope you used protection because there’s no way you’re not pregnant after that!” Miles gushed as he chewed his food, talking with his mouth full.</p><p>“If you must know, yes, we did. We always do. Can we like not talk about my sex life like this?!” I exclaimed, rolling my eyes as I took a bite of the cheesesteak.</p><p>Miles quickly changed the subject because even though he can be a tool sometimes, he never teased people too much if they were getting really bothered by his jokes. He and Maisie did not share that trait. Maisie would push and push until you exploded on her, so I admired Miles for that. “Fuck, this cheesesteak is amazing. Joe is amazing. He is a godsend. I’d give him a blow job for one of his Philly cheesesteaks, no questions asked and I’m a bigger fan of the puss.”</p><p>“Your gag reflex is, like, minimal at best, so it’d be pretty sloppy. You might as well order the sloppy joe.” Maisie laughed before taking a sip of her Coke.</p><p>“Fuck off!” Miles laughed, throwing a ketchup packet at her.</p><p>“Dickhead!” Maisie exclaimed, throwing the ketchup packet back at him, hitting him in the eye, causing him to gasp dramatically. I rolled my eyes and laughed, cutting into my cheesesteak again and taking another bite. Miles took a huge bite of his, smearing it all over his face in the process. Maisie just swallowed a bite before she spoke to me, “So why haven’t you posted on Facebook that you’re engaged? It’s getting pretty hard to hide it from our friends and coworkers.”</p><p>“Yeah… Kevin doesn’t want more people to know yet.” I replied honestly. Kevin and I had talked about it and he asked that I didn’t share it. I wanted to respect his desires, so I didn’t and I won’t until he’s comfortable with it. It’s hard to hide it from mine and Maisie’s mutual friends Anya, Taylor, and James (I met Anya and James freshman year of college and we’ve known Taylor since high school). They’re the only other people I actually call my friends. I may be a people person and will talk to just about anyone, but I have a tight-knit group of friends and people that I trust. </p><p>“That’s weird, it seems like he’s hiding it or something.” Maisie judged as she took a bite of her cheesesteak.</p><p>“I don’t think he’s hiding it, he’s just really closed off and reserved. You know how he is, he doesn’t really like me to post stuff about us on Facebook in general, especially because he's not on it.” I shrugged, not really thinking it was a big deal like she did. I couldn’t help but wonder: <i>why did she always do this?</i></p><p>“Yeah because he secretly has an entire family behind your back and doesn’t want to be caught.” Maisie joked, smirking and chuckling to herself. “Let’s not forget about the secret drug ring in the basement of the zoo,” she added. I rolled my eyes, clearly not having it.</p><p>“Wait, what? Seriously?” Miles asked, his eyes wide. “That must be how he could afford the ring…”</p><p>I looked at him with my brows raised and my jaw dropped. “No, Miles. It’s a joke.” I couldn’t believe he actually believed that. And why does everyone think he couldn’t afford the ring?! </p><p>“Oh haha.” Miles chuckled and shrugged, taking a bite of his cheesesteak.</p><p>“So are you and Kevin actually going to move in with each other or like will you be one of those couples who live in different places that everyone thinks is really fucking weird?” Maisie asked seemingly out of nowhere. I felt like this was interrogate Sophie time or something.</p><p>I looked at her, taken aback for a second. I don’t know why, though, she’s always as blunt as possible. Slightly insensitive, too. I took it personally every time, but regardless of her being like that, she’s still a good friend when I need her to be. “Wow, thanks Maise.” I rolled my eyes. “We haven’t really talked about it but…” I hesitated, glancing at Miles because of what I was going to say next. I couldn’t say it because it referred to Kevin’s DID.</p><p>Maisie caught onto this and put her cheesesteak down in the small tray. “Miles, go get more napkins. You’re practically wearing your Philly cheesesteak, not a good look, babes.”</p><p>“Fuck, really? Be right back.” he took one last bite of his cheesesteak before getting up and heading back to the vendor, Joe, to get some napkins.</p><p>When he was out of earshot, I continued, “The thing is… he has rooms in the basement of the zoo that’s specifically for his alters. Hedwig has his own room, Barry has a studio, Patricia has her own room, and so does Jade and they’re all a form of personal expression that they have that separates them from each other. I can only imagine how they feel sharing the same body, especially Jade and Patricia being in a man’s body.”</p><p>“Right, so are you going to move in with him then?”</p><p>“No way… I can’t live in the basement of a zoo.” I retorted. It did sound a tad judgemental I admit but I just couldn’t picture myself living there in general. Not that there was anything wrong with living there... I just didn’t want to do that, if I could avoid it.</p><p>“You do get how weird that is, right?” she retorted. </p><p>I raised my brows. “What? Not moving in with him? I hope that’s what you mean…” I hesitated because she was either referring to that being weird or the fact that they all have their own rooms. I was about to go off on her if it was the latter.</p><p>Maisie sighed. “Look, I’m just saying, things change when you get married and it doesn’t seem like either of you want to compromise. Unless if like, you get a huge house or something.”</p><p>“We still haven’t talked about it. Right now, my money is being saved for grad school. I’m not entirely sure about his savings because that’s his business. Maybe when we’re married, we’ll get a bigger house or something. I don’t know, a lot of things are up in the air. It’s more complicated than an average relationship.” I explained, letting out a little sigh. I felt frustrated because I felt like she wasn’t getting it.</p><p>Maisie scoffed. “Yeah, you’re basically dating 23 people.” </p><p>“That’s not how it works.” I sighed, the frustration in my voice was evident.</p><p>“Then how does it work?” she asked, giving me a bit of attitude but only because I did first.</p><p>“I’m in a relationship with Kevin, his other alters and I are friends,” I explained calmly.</p><p>“Haven’t you like, not even met all of them? How do you know they’re all your friends.” she pointed out, taking another bite of her cheesesteak. "And didn't that Luke one straight up take advantage of you when you were drunk?" I sighed and shook my head, deciding not even to comment on that. I told her that out of confidence and not for it to be brought up and thrown in my face later. She wasn’t getting this at all. Miles came back with napkins and to my surprise, another Philly cheesesteak. “I’m just saying.” Maisie continued. I gave her a look for saying that in front of Miles, but she was too focused on her food to notice.</p><p>“Just saying what?” Miles asked curiously, sitting down next to us.</p><p>I looked at him, thinking on my toes to change the subject. “You’re a pig. Why did you come back with another Philly cheesesteak!” I laughed, shaking my head.</p><p>“What? I’m hungry! I’m a growing boy!” Miles exclaimed, chuckling.</p><p>I nodded in agreement. “Yes, a 28-year-old boy.” </p><p>“A man, actually,” he corrected matter-of-factly. “A growing man. Who needs two Philly cheesesteaks with extra cheese.” </p><p>“That’s so gross,” I said in disgust. The cheese was practically engulfing the entire sandwich and dripping down the bread. Don’t get me wrong, I like cheese, but not that much.</p><p>“It looks delicious, can I have a bite?” Maisie asked. Miles shrugged and handed it to her and she took a huge, messy bite from it. I just rolled my eyes and shook my head as I looked down at my own cheesesteak and pushed the steak around with my fork. </p><p>Suddenly, I wasn’t hungry anymore. I thought about what Maisie said about not knowing some of his alters and sighed. My aunt said the same exact thing and I wondered if maybe they were right. I should probably talk to Kevin about that.</p>
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</div>The next day I worked from 9 to 5 and so did Kevin. We talked right before our shifts and agreed that we’d meet at the maintenance room at 1 pm for our lunch break. I was surprised when I saw Sal, one of our coworkers that worked in maintenance, storming out of the office. He looked frustrated and was groaning and mumbling to himself.<p>“Hey Sal, everything okay?” I asked as I caught up to him. </p><p>“Not really.” he groaned, rolling his eyes.</p><p>“Oh, I’m sorry to hear that. What happened?” </p><p>“Ask your boyfriend. You know he’s being a real dick lately. I don’t know what’s gotten into him.” he shook his head.</p><p>My stomach dropped. I wasn’t expecting him to say that, usually they were having a great time working together with rarely any qualms. I wonder what changed. “What did he do?"</p><p>“He’s been going on about keeping the maintenance room organized and shit. We have a system that’s worked for years and now all of a sudden the wrenches are where the hammers go, fucking hell.” he shook his head and groaned, mumbling something else to himself that I couldn’t quite understand.</p><p>“Oh, well, I’m sorry. I can talk to him if you’d like?” I offered. I didn’t want him to be angry with Kevin, they were actually close friends.</p><p>“Yeah, he listens to you.” Sal reasoned, letting out a sigh and nodding his head. Sal was a really nice guy with a heart of gold and he cared for Kevin so much as a friend, so I could tell he was more upset that they were fighting instead of the actual incident.</p><p>I smiled at him. “I’ll see what I can do.”</p><p>“Thanks, Sophie, I’ll see you around.” he smiled back and then walked past me.</p><p>“Bye Sal,” I said as I walked into the maintenance office. I saw Kevin sitting at the table and was confused at first because I noticed he was wearing glasses and I’d never seen him in glasses before. “Oh, hey baby. Did you get glasses? They look nice.”</p><p>Kevin looked up at me. “H-hey. No-” he replied, his voice deeper than usual as he quickly took them off and cleared his throat. I noticed his posture was a bit different than normal, he seemed stiffer. “I mean, I just need them for reading sometimes.” he looked around the table and picked up the newspaper to show me.</p><p>I nodded even though I’ve never really seen him read the paper. Even if he did, I never realized he needed glasses for reading. “Oh, well, I just got on my lunch break. Should we get hotdogs and talk?” </p><p>“About what?” he snapped quickly, catching me off guard.</p><p>“Uh, nothing in particular. Anything. You know, like we usually do…” I hesitated. We got hot dogs and walked around the zoo and talked about anything and everything at least once a week or when our schedules aligned, so I don’t know why he seemed so defensive and confused all of a sudden.</p><p>“Oh right, yeah. Of course, we can.” he finally said, standing up stiffly and walking by me and towards the door.</p><p>“You okay, Kevin?” I asked, touching his arm softly. He stopped in his tracks and blinked slowly. He groaned and pinched the bridge of his nose as if he were changing alters. “Kevin?” I raised my brows, rubbing his arm gently.</p><p>“Yeah?” he looked at me and blinked slowly. He sounded like my Kevin and I thought that maybe he was a different alter before and that’s why he seemed so snappy with me and I just haven’t met them before? </p><p>“Are you okay?” I asked, rubbing his back gently.</p><p>“Yeah, I just… what were we doing again?” he asked. His confusion just confirmed my hunch about it being a different alter before. I didn’t know if he was aware of who it was though, so I didn’t bring attention to it.</p><p>“I’m on lunch, so we were going to get hotdogs and walk around and talk,” I replied, smiling at him.</p><p>Kevin smiled back at me. “That sounds like a great idea. Let's go.” he took my hand and led me out of the office. </p><p>During our walk, I asked him about the interaction he had with Sal and he said he completely forgot about it. Like he had no memory of it at all. He didn’t even remember anything after he punched into work that day.</p><p>Of course, it worried me. Who wouldn’t be worried? </p><p>Although it comes along with his DID, he didn’t experience complete amnesia like he just had, or if he has, I haven’t been around to notice so that’s what caught me off guard. I wondered who I was talking to though because they seemed like they didn’t like me very much. Maybe it was Ansel or Samuel? Maybe it was Luke and he was playing it off? I remembered those are a few of the other alters Barry has told me about. As Maisie said earlier, I met Luke only briefly and it wasn’t the best encounter I’ve had with an alter, so it would make sense that he’d be a little uptight around me. It was a good possibility and that could have been the case.</p><p>I tried not to fret about it anymore, figuring that was the only logical explanation for it. It made the most sense.</p>
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</div>A couple of days later, I was sitting on the couch, watching Criminal Minds and eating a rice bowl that I made that had chicken, beans, and broccoli. Kevin was staying at the zoo tonight because he had an early morning shift, or so I thought so anyway. He surprised me when I heard the key in the door, then he opened it and walked inside. “Oh hey, baby! I didn’t realize you were coming over…”<p>“I just need to talk to you.” he shut the door behind him and walked over to me, seeming a little agitated. </p><p>I sat up, putting my bowl on the coffee table, and turned the TV off, picking up on how he seemed agitated. “Oh… is everything okay? You seem upset…”</p><p>“Just a bit,” he replied.</p><p>I raised my brows. “Did I do something wrong?” I asked, looking down at my hands. I wasn’t even sure if I did, but that was always my default even though I didn’t think I did anything wrong… then I thought. Maybe he knew that Wyatt texted me because of Jade? <i>Shit…</i> But I don't think she would have told him, so that left me more confused.</p><p>“So everyone at work knows we’re engaged now,” he answered, much to my surprise.</p><p>“Oh shit.” </p><p>“Everyone was congratulating me. Even fucking Dave from parking knew. I thought we agreed not to tell them.” he scoffed. I could tell he was pissed, especially because he cursed, which he rarely did. I looked down, remembering that I left my ring on yesterday. Wow, word spreads fast there… I should have known better though.</p><p>“I totally forgot about my ring. I left in on yesterday. I realized at the end of the day, but no one commented on it so I figured I was in the clear and no one noticed but I guess not. Are you mad?” </p><p>He shook his head and sat down on the couch next to me. “Not mad.” </p><p>“Upset?”</p><p>“A bit.”</p><p>I sighed as I rubbed his back gently. “Honey, I’m so sorry. It was a silly mistake… but at least we don’t have to keep it a secret from them anymore…”</p><p>“It was fine being a secret.” he snapped back, catching me off guard.</p><p>“I don’t get why you were so secretive about it though, isn’t this something you scream from the rooftops? I’m so excited and happy, I just want everyone to know.” I admitted, cupping his cheek and stroking it with my thumb. I didn’t want him to be upset with me. Usually, when I soothed him like this, he calmed down.</p><p>“Are you sure leaving it on was an accident?” he accused.</p><p>I dropped my hand from his face, taken aback by what he just said. “Yes… why would you think I did it on purpose?”</p><p>“You just said it yourself, you wanted everyone to know.” he shrugged, looking away from me. </p><p>“Yeah, but that doesn’t mean I’d do something like that if you didn’t want me to,” I told him, cupping his cheek again softly and turning his head towards me. I didn’t get why it was such a big deal to him, but I didn’t have to make him feel even more upset or invalidated, so I refrained from saying more. Kevin was quiet and kept his eyes anywhere but from mine. I let out a small sigh as I thought. “Why did you want it to be a secret?” I asked, realizing I had never asked him before and I’ve been wondering this whole time.</p><p>“Because I wanted to be in a little bubble, just the two of us knowing. I didn’t even want you to tell anyone the day after but you were so adamant about telling everyone.” </p><p>My face fell and I suddenly felt horrible. “Oh baby, I’m so sorry. I wish you told me. I wouldn’t have told them if I knew you didn’t want me to…” </p><p>“You can’t really do anything about it now, can you.” he criticized, pulling his head away from my hand.</p><p>“Don’t be like that…”</p><p>“Like what? All you do is do things regardless of if I ask you not to. You’re always doing things I don’t want you to do like you’re always making me do things I don’t want to do.” he complained, shaking his head.</p><p>“Kevin, I don’t need you to tell me what I can and can’t do and I don’t make you do things you don’t want to do… when do I do that?” I asked, trying to remain calm even though I was getting frustrated.</p><p>“Yeah, you do. All the time. It’s really annoying and sometimes I just want to stay home and watch TV or have a quiet dinner with you, not go out with your friends, or to the bar where we always run into one of your old fuck buddies. I don’t really want to be reminded of all the people you’ve fucked in the past because it’s a lot of fucking people it’s kind of mindblowing and kind of gross.”</p><p>I felt tears forming in my eyes from what he just said. “I can’t believe you just said that.” </p><p>“Well, it’s true,” he said honestly and he was clearly detached by how he wouldn’t even look anywhere remotely in my direction.</p><p>“It might be but it’s extremely rude, out of line, and really hurtful.” I choked back my tears as I stood up.</p><p>“Where are you going?” he snarled, raising his brows at me expectantly.</p><p>“To my room so I can fucking cry and get my emotions out in a healthy way instead of gaslighting you like you just did to me.” I wailed, storming off to my room and slamming the door shut. </p><p>I quickly went to my bed and cried into the pillow. Part of me knew I may be overreacting, but we almost never fought so I was completely caught off guard. He’s never said anything that hurtful before. I don’t know what’s gotten into him.</p><p>As my crying died down and I regained control of my breath, I rationalized that this was just his misplaced anger. He might not even be angry with me in general. I didn’t know if maybe he was going through something or was upset by something and just not telling me. I thought of all of the possible explanations. </p><p>Maybe I thought what if he knew about Wyatt’s texts and was just upset that I wasn’t honest with him? He could have been having blackouts more recently and I just didn’t know it and that was on my mind? I’d have to talk more to him and get to the bottom of this. I hate fighting with him. I just want him to be happy.</p><p>I heard a knock at my door. “What?” I asked, my voice still raspy from crying. I didn’t know if I was quite ready to talk to Kevin yet. I needed more time to sort things out in my head before I said something I might regret.</p><p>“Honey, it’s Barry. Can I come in?”</p><p>“Yeah,” I replied, sitting up as I wiped my tears with my sleeve. </p><p>Barry opened the door and looked at me. “Oh, honey!” he sympathized, his hand on his chest as he walked over and sat next to me. I sniffled as I looked at him and tried not to cry even more. Something about the recognition from someone that I was crying made me want to cry even more. My cheeks were still stained with tears, my eyes were no doubt puffy and red and my nose was congested from crying. I no doubt looked like a mess. “Come here.” he wrapped his arms around me and held me close, squeezing me tight. “I’m so sorry for what Kevin said. You know he didn’t mean it, right?”</p><p>I nodded into his chest. “I know, it still hurt though.” I inhaled sharply and my voice cracked as I tried to let out a breath, but it was shaky. I was on the verge of tears again and I hated it. Normally, I enjoyed crying but not so much in front of people. Even though I trusted Barry.</p><p>“He’s just going through a lot right now emotionally and he doesn’t know how to process it,” Barry admitted as he stroked my hair.</p><p>“Really? Like what?” I asked softly, not really surprised because that’s what I thought may have been going on.</p><p>“It’s a few things honestly. Like adjusting to being engaged in general and having all eyes on him for once. He’s still really upset that your father reacted the way he did and he knows he shouldn’t take it to heart but he still does. The words of your father still stick with him, as I know you can understand.”</p><p>“Yeah, my father is a real dick. Everything he’s ever told me might as well be burned into my skin like these.” I scoffed, pointing to the cigarette burns on my thighs from my father when I was 8-years-old.</p><p>“He really is. I’m so sorry you had to go through that. Kevin feels so bad for that, he carries that weight with him even though I try to tell him not to.”</p><p>“It’s not his burden to bear,” I mumbled, wiping away the stray tears that fell.</p><p>“I know, but he loves you and he cares so deeply for you. It’s not just about what your father said… he’s been having a hard time with some of the alters. They’re not all happy about the engagement. He didn’t want me to tell you to not worry you but I think after what just happened, you deserve an explanation.” </p><p>“Oh wow… I had no idea… that must be really hard. Do you know why they’re not happy? And who in particular aren’t happy with it?” I asked, my face falling. I felt so bad now that I knew Kevin was dealing with that internal struggle and I had no idea. I felt like this was something I should know so I could help him get through it because he’s not alone.</p><p>“I don’t want to name names but they’re mostly giving me a hard time about it, Kevin just overhears some of it. Don’t worry though, I’ve got it handled.” he squeezed my shoulders reassuringly. “I would say you should talk to Kevin, but he shut himself off for the moment…”</p><p>“It’s fine. I’ll give him time to clear his head.” </p><p>“Is there anything that’s on your mind, love? You seem more emotional than usual, which isn’t a bad thing at all, I just noticed,” he observed, rubbing my shoulders gently. </p><p>I bit the inside of my lip as I thought. There was a lot on my mind, actually. I haven’t even had time to stop and think about how much actually is on my mind. From the text exchange with Wyatt the other night, to him texting me this morning to apologize, to Maisie and my aunt telling me I need to talk to Kevin about the other alters, and now with hearing not all of the alters are happy about the engagement… it was a bit overwhelming. I honestly didn’t know where to start.</p><p>“Periods suck.” I resorted to that, chuckling as I rolled my eyes. I felt terrible because it was a lie, I haven’t gotten my period yet this month. I knew I should probably talk to him about it, but it seems like he just has so much on his mind with Kevin and the alters. I’d save myself getting this off my chest when I saw my therapist on Friday because I feel like I can wait and Kevin can’t.</p><p>Barry’s face lightened up at me laughing. “I can imagine they’re terrible. How about we eat some ice cream and watch RuPaul’s Drag Race?” he suggested with a small smirk. </p><p>I smiled and nodded. “That sounds great Barry. There’s some ice cream in the freezer.”</p><p>“Perfect.” he smiled as he stood up. I noticed my phone light up from where it charged on the nightstand.</p><p>“I’ll be right there,” I told him as I reached for my phone. Barry nodded and left the room. I unlocked my phone and read the text from Wyatt.</p><p>
  <b>
    <i>We need to talk about Kevin.</i>
  </b>
</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0008"><h2>8. Patricia</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Since Patricia is the motherly figure of the System, it only makes sense that she would be protective over Kevin. She has her doubts about Sophie and she’s not afraid to let Sophie know. In talking with Patricia, Sophie comes to the realization that she's in love with Kevin and decides to tell him.</p>
          </blockquote><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Date: Late September 2013 (flashback)<br/>Word count: 6.5k<br/>Chapter warnings: super fluffy, adult content, smut/practice of safe sex.<br/>Author's Note: Sorry this is a day late, had a busy day yesterday but I still hope you enjoy!</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    
<p></p><div class="center">
  <p>
    <b>Chapter Eight</b><br/>
<i>Patricia</i>
  </p>
</div>The day I met Patricia was nerve-wracking, to say the least. I didn’t know it at first, but apparently, she didn’t like me all that much. That made me so nervous because I just wanted all of Kevin’s alters to like me. I reasoned that it was because she was just protective over Kevin, so I couldn’t really blame her at all or be annoyed or angry with her. It wouldn’t be right. I completely understood where she was coming from, she’s just looking after Kevin, like all of his alters do.<br/><i></i><br/><i>I was cooking Hot Cheese Dip for a potluck for one of my boss's birthdays - correction, I was attempting to cook Hot Cheese Dip for her potluck birthday dinner. I’m not the best cook in general really and I normally stick to simple recipes for my dinners like pasta and salmon or chicken and rice. This was my second go at the dip and it was not going well.</i><p>
 <i>“What on earth is that horrific smell?! It smells like something died in here!” Barry exclaimed as he followed me into the kitchen after I let him in. He was plugging his nose and honestly, I didn't blame him. His statement was correct. Although, the only thing that was dying was my dignity. </i>
</p><p>
  <i>“Oh, just my cooking,” I said nonchalantly, hiding frustration as I turned the fan above the stove on and dumped out the burnt cheese dip into the garbage.</i>
</p><p>
  <i>Barry’s facial expression changed immediately and his eyes widened slightly. “Oh, I’m sorry honey. If I had known I wouldn’t have been so rude about it. What are you cooking?” he asked. He was always so sweet and never meant to offend anyone, so even though I was frustrated with my lack of cooking skills, I couldn’t help but smile.</i>
</p><p>
  <i>“No worries, I know it’s terrible. I’m trying to make a Hot Cheese Dip for a potluck for Kim’s birthday dinner with a recipe I found online and it’s not working out too great…” I explained, scraping the left-over burnt cheese off of the baking pan with a frustrated sigh.</i>
</p><p>
  <i>“You know who would be the perfect teacher for you right now?” Barry exclaimed and I could see his eyes light up when I looked up at him.</i>
</p><p>
  <i>“Who? I could use all the help I could get.” I admitted honestly, letting out another sigh. Some help would honestly be great. Clearly, it wasn’t working out on my own, I was ready to just buy some queso dip and heat it up for the party and be done with it.</i>
</p><p>
  <i>“Patricia, she’s an amazing cook.” he smiled.</i>
</p><p>
  <i>I beamed at the suggestion, I’ve always wanted to meet Patricia. I hear she’s quite the cook, not to mention I've had some of her left-over food before and it was delicious. “Oh, that would be great! Are you sure she wants to meet me?” I asked. </i>
</p><p>
  <i>I always worried about whether or not an alter would want to meet me. I didn’t want to push any of them, since I know that just because I’m dating Kevin doesn’t automatically mean I’m friends with all of them. It’s like a regular friendship that you have to build from the ground up. I'm always up to meet any of the alters and I've always wanted to meet Patricia because I admired her. Not only Barry has told me a lot about her and always speaks highly of her, but Hedwig mentioned her a lot and clearly looks up to her and loves her. Kevin mentioned her sometimes and says he takes care of him when he isn't able to, more so in the past, but sometimes he has his days as we all do. I wanted to meet the woman who's the motherly figure to all of the alters and Kevin, so the idea of it possibly being now was exciting and suddenly nerve-wracking.</i>
</p><p>
  <i>“She’d love to meet you! Let me talk to her and see if I can get her to come into the light!” Barry exclaimed with a bright smile on his face. He seemed so excited about this and his energy was contagious so of course, I got excited too.</i>
</p><p>
  <i>“Okay, thanks, Barry!” I smiled as I turned my back to him and started to rinse out the baking pan.</i>
</p><p>
  <i>“Hi Sophie!” I surprisingly heard Hedwig’s familiar voice.</i>
</p><p>
  <i>I was a little caught off-guard because I was expecting Patricia, but it was a nice surprise to see Hedwig, too. “Oh, hey Hedwig! How are you?”</i>
</p><p>
  <i>“Pretty good. It’s getting kinda boring in there and Barry went to talk to Miss Patricia about coming into the light to help you, etcetera. But I don’t think she wants to because she doesn’t like you.” he mentioned casually, sitting down on the stool at the island countertop and leaning back on it.</i>
</p><p>
  <i>My face fell and my stomach dropped upon hearing that she didn’t like me. “O-oh… do you know why she doesn’t like me?” I asked nervously. I haven’t even met Patricia and the idea of someone not liking me before I even met them was worrisome to me.</i>
</p><p>
  <i>“She doesn’t know you and doesn’t know if you’re right for Kevin, etcetera.” he leaned back on the chair more, gripping onto the island countertop to hold him up from falling back. He had the front two legs of the chair off of the ground.</i>
</p><p>
  <i>I frowned when I realized what he was doing. “One time I did that on a chair at school and I fell back on the ground and my head hit the floor. I had to get stitches and everything. So maybe that’s not such a good idea. I don’t want you to fall like I did.” </i>
</p><p>
  <i>“Okay, Sophie,” Hedwig said, leaning forward so all of the legs of the chair were on the floor and sitting down normally. It was easy to talk to Hedwig and he normally listened to me, especially when I made sure to talk to him like he is nine and not an adult. I always tried to relate more to him instead of just telling him what to do and what not to do because I feel like kids, especially Hedwig, respond more to stories and experiences and explanations rather than just being told to stop something. If I were to just ask him to stop he'd ask me 'why' a million times and never be satisfied with the answer, so I learned to work around that. “Miss Patricia doesn’t want to meet you,” he said matter-of-factly.</i>
</p><p>
  <i>“O-oh, okay, that’s fine. I understand.” I looked down, even though part of me didn’t really understand. I wasn’t angry, per se. Just a little confused and a little hurt.</i>
</p><p>
  <i>“Oh wait, maybe she does.” </i>
</p><p>
  <i>“That’d be nice,” I replied, going to the fridge and getting more cheese. I was thankful that I overbought on account I was sure I’d mess up at least once. Little did I know it’d happen multiple times.</i>
</p><p>
  <i>“Miss Patricia says she wants the light now,” Hedwig claimed. I looked up at him and saw him blink slowly and his mannerisms changed drastically. He sat up straighter and his body language seemed more closed off and refined. He clutched the cardigan Barry came in with and held it close to his chest. That’s when I knew it wasn’t Hedwig anymore.</i>
</p><p>
  <i>“Patricia, right?” I smiled, putting the cheese on the countertop.</i>
</p><p>
  <i>She nodded with her lips pursed. “You are correct,” she answered timidly. That’s when I noticed she had a soft British accent. It was actually kind of comforting for some reason.</i>
</p><p>
  <i>“You probably already know, but I’m Sophie, it’s nice to finally meet you. I’ve heard so much about you.” I replied, smiling. I tried to speak calmly and softly, even though I was a bit nervous and I was worried I'd become out of breath quickly because of it, so I took a small breath that I hope she didn't notice before I continued on. “I would shake your hand, but I have some burnt cheese on it…” I told her, slightly embarrassed of how messy I was.</i>
</p><p>
  <i>“I hope you’ve heard good things.”</i>
</p><p>
  <i>“Only the best. Barry tells me you’re a wonderful cook?” </i>
</p><p>
  <i>“Did he now,” she mumbled, raising her brows. I could sense that she was still holding back from me, but she seemed to relax a little bit more as we talked more. I just wanted her to like me honestly, so I hoped that was a good sign.</i>
</p><p>
  <i>“Yes. I’m actually making a Hot Cheese Dip for a potluck dinner for my boss's birthday. I’m not having much luck with it. I’ve burnt one batch and the other was way too thin and milky… I think I’ve gotten in over my head with this.” I admitted, sighing as I looked at all the cheese on the counter. Patricia looked at me with her lips pursed and my cheeks burned because I felt like I was being judged.</i>
</p><p>
  <i>“Not to worry. Let me see the recipe and we’ll make it perfect.” she gave me a small smile and that gave me hope. I smiled back and handed her the piece of paper I had printed with the Hot Cheese Dip recipe on it. Patricia skimmed the paper. “I’d like to see the ingredients all laid out on the counter, please.” </i>
</p><p>
  <i>I nodded and quickly got the rest of the ingredients, putting them on the counter. “I actually think I need more capers and green chilies.” I sighed, realizing I didn’t have enough for a third batch. </i>
</p><p>
  <i>Patricia stood up and walked to the refrigerator. She looked inside and I suddenly felt insecure because I haven’t gone grocery shopping for 2 weeks aside from all of the ingredients for the Hot Cheese Dip. Not to mention I basically lived off of a diet of frozen dinners, cereal, rice, chicken, beans, and peanut butter and jelly sandwiches because that’s all I could afford as a college student with my part-time job at the zoo.</i>
</p><p>
  <i>She took out a green pepper that I had forgotten I had (from the time I tried to make stuffed peppers) and walked to the pantry, skimming its contents before taking out a can of black olives. “These will make a good substitute for the green chilies and capers. It will just be less spicy. We can add more pepperoni to the dip to balance it out and get the spice back.” she suggested with a soft smile.</i>
</p><p>
  <i>I let out a small sigh of relief and smiled. “Thank you, that sounds perfect.”</i>
</p><p>
  <i>“Let’s get started. Could I have a large mixing bowl, please? And could you grease this pan? I see the oven is already preheated so that’s perfect.” </i>
</p><p>
  <i>I smiled and nodded, greasing the pan and bringing it back. Patricia started on cutting the peppers. “What else can I do?” I asked, hoping she’d give me more jobs to do so it wasn’t just me watching her cook.</i>
</p><p>
  <i>“Be a dear and chop the onion for me.” she motioned her hand towards it. I nodded and wasted no time grabbed a knife and started to chop it. The room got silent, the noise of Patricia chopping into the crisp pepper and me chopping into the onion filling the room. My eyes started to burn for the third time today and I remembered how much I hated cooking with onions. I started thinking about how Hedwig said Patricia doesn’t like me and I started to worry about the silence between us.</i>
</p><p>
  <i>“Patricia? Can I ask you something?” I finally worked up the courage to ask. Patricia mumbled a ‘hm?’ as she picked her head up ever so slightly as she put the ingredients into a large mixing bowl. “Do you not like me?”</i>
</p><p>
  <i>I saw Patricia frown. “Oh, dear, who told you that?” she asked, raising her brows with concern. </i>
</p><p>
  <i>I couldn’t tell if the frown was because it was true and I found out or if it wasn’t true. I looked down, assuming the worst. “Hedwig.”</i>
</p><p>
  <i>“Don’t take what he says to heart, he is only nine,” she replied calmly and sincerely. I nodded, but couldn’t help but think how she didn’t actually answer the question. “Are the onions ready, dear?” I nodded and handed her the small bowl of chopped up onions. “I hope you understand… I am a bit protective of Kevin. As you hopefully know by now, he is very fragile and is highly sensitive. He cares for you deeply and I’m just worried he might lose himself in your relationship.” she confessed as she poured the onions in with the other ingredients. “I just need to know you’re in this with him and that you understand what being with Kevin means and that this isn’t a joke to you.” </i>
</p><p>
  <i>“Oh, it’s not… at all. I am completely in this with him. I understand what being with Kevin means-”</i>
</p><p>
  <i>Patricia interjected with her brows raised. “Do you now?” I could tell she wasn't trying to be mean, just that she was concerned.</i>
</p><p>
  <i>“Yes… I know that he is deeply sensitive and I’m not looking to hurt him.” I explained myself and I meant every word I said.</i>
</p><p>
  <i>Patricia paused and thought. “You know that’s what the last girl said, but it was too much for her poor heart, dealing with Kevin and his alters and she left him. He was heartbroken. He spiraled into a deep, deep depression. It took a lot to get him out of that. I fear he likes you a lot more and a breakup like that with you would crush him and be very detrimental to his mental health and all of his progress, so you see why I’m worried.”</i>
</p><p>
  <i>“Oh, I didn’t know that… he didn’t tell me…” I hesitated, suddenly feeling bad about it. I was honestly a little surprised that Kevin didn’t tell me about his last girlfriend. Then again, I never asked because I felt like that wasn’t my business. He didn’t ask me too much about my past relationships, so I didn’t ask about his. Now I’m realizing I probably should have. </i>
</p><p>
  <i>“There’s a lot you don’t know, Sophie, and I’m worried that when you learn about those things, it will be too much for you like it was for Danielle,” she told me as she folded the mixture, adding the cheese little by little.</i>
</p><p>
  <i>“I don’t know much about Danielle or what happened but I know I’m in this with Kevin for the long haul. I really like him. He’s so sweet and caring and I just think he deserves someone who will love him and show him compassion and respect him. He deserves to be loved and respected and cared for. He’s been through so much pain in his life… I want to remind him of the good and show him that there’s life outside of pain. I love him, Patricia.” I’ve never said that out loud, although I’ve been feeling this way for a while. I’m not used to falling for someone so fast. Hell, it took me 7 months to even think about the fact that I thought I was in love with Wyatt, but this is totally and completely different.</i>
</p><p>
  <i>“Oh, you do?” Patricia raised her brows, seeming surprised.</i>
</p><p>
  <i>“Yes, I can honestly say I do. I’ve never felt this way about anyone in my life.” I answered honestly, it’s what I felt in my heart.</i>
</p><p>
  <i>“Even that boy you were with for 2 years before Kevin?”</i>
</p><p>
  <i>I wondered how she knew that, but I realized that I told Kevin about it briefly, so I’m not surprised that she found that out. “Yes. It’s different with Kevin, though. He accepts me for who I am and I accept him for who he is.”</i>
</p><p>
  <i>Patricia looked at me in my eyes and asked softly, “Do you really love him?”</i>
</p><p>
  <i>“Yes, I do… a lot actually.” I smiled shyly, my cheeks burning because I actually finally said it. I love Kevin. I am in love with Kevin. I let that sink in as I felt my stomach bubble with excitement and I literally wanted to scream it, but I refrained because it wouldn’t have been appropriate. It would have been a slightly embarrassing thing to do in front of Patricia, I had no idea if she'd think I was a lunatic.</i>
</p><p>
  <i>“And have you told him?” </i>
</p><p>
  <i>“Not yet… it’s the first time I actually said it out loud… I’m sure he knows now, though…” I hesitated.</i>
</p><p>
  <i>“No, he doesn’t. He’s not co-conscious right now. But you should tell him, soon. I think you’ll find he feels the same way.” she smiled as she picked up the bowl. “How about you put this into the pan?” she directed me. I nodded as I spooned out the cheese mixture into the pan. It looked a lot better than what I made and just the right consistency. </i>
</p><p>
  <i>After that conversation with Patricia, the nerves and worries of her not liking me went away. I felt like we understood where the other was coming from, so I didn’t need to worry about her liking me anymore. We talked more as we cooked, just getting to know each other, and before she left she said she enjoyed the time we spent cooking together and said we should do it again sometime, so I took that as a good sign.</i>
</p><p><i>Barry came into the light after that and we cracked open a bottle of wine and he gushed about how well it went and said Patricia really likes me and approves of me, so that was really good and validating. He also asked about me confessing to Patricia that I love Kevin and I wasn’t surprised, not only is he always co-conscious, but he's also quite the gossip. After I tell Kevin, I'm sure Barry will waste no time telling everyone in the System. I couldn't help but think of Jade's reaction, probably something along the lines of: </i>'No fucking way!! I fucking knew it'<i>.</i></p><p>
  <i>“I am so not surprised but Sophie, this is so exciting!” he exclaimed. “How are you going to tell him?!”</i>
</p><p>
  <i>“Yeah… I’m going to tell him soon, I just have to think about when. I don’t really want to make a big deal about it. I kind of just want to say it randomly and catch him off guard.” I mentioned as I thought more about how I could tell him. I'm not into grand gestures or anything like that. There wasn't going to be a huge elaborate thing just for me to tell him I love him. I was more simple than that. I just wanted to say it and get it out there before I chicken out from getting too nervous. I couldn't risk chickening out on this, I want Kevin to know, sooner rather than later.</i>
</p><p>
  <i>“Oh, that’ll be fun. You could do it in the middle of your mind-blowing sex sesh. That’ll blow him away. You could blow him away, literally.” he smirked as he took a sip of wine. "I mean, only if you're okay with that, you know I would never pressure you." he immediately apologized. I've never really given him a blow job before, we've only had sex once and I wasn't going to rush oral or rush any type of sex. We both had to be comfortable and introduce more things as it goes along.</i>
</p><p>
  <i>My eyes widened. “No! I’m not going to tell him while we’re having sex.” I laughed and shook my head, taking a sip of my wine. I completely disregarded his blow job comment because honestly, I didn't know how to respond at that moment. Normally one would blame the fact that he’s on his second glass of wine (I’m still working on my first) on his forwardness and comments about sex, but it's Barry we’re talking about. Tipsy or not, he’s forward as hell and has absolutely no shame or filter. That's what I love about him.</i>
</p><p>
  <i>“Maybe you could tell him now. He’s not co-conscious, but I can convince him to come out. I’m sure he’ll want to because, uh, hello, it’s you. He always wants to spend time with you!” he gushed with a smile. </i>
</p><p>
  <i>I would have smiled too at the thought of that, but I felt butterflies in my stomach and I suddenly got nervous at the thought of doing it right now. “I mean… okay. But wait, aren’t you tipsy right now?”</i>
</p><p>
  <i>“I'm not that tipsy!" he laughed and shook his head. I raised my brows as a way of saying 'you sure about that' and he rolled his eyes, smirking. "Regardless, I might be, but Kevin’s not. I could be completely falling over and blacking out or in the hospital with alcohol poisoning and if Kevin comes out, he’d be as sober as if he hasn’t had a drink in his life. Not that I’d ever do that though, I know better.” he explained, I knew he'd never do that. He always had Kevin's best interest in mind and getting black-out drunk would not be in his best interest, of course. </i>
</p><p>
  <i>I raised my brows and nodded, I was convinced. It kind of made sense, too. Since Jade has diabetes and no one else in the System does; they're like completely different people just in one body. “Wow, that’s pretty cool.”</i>
</p><p>
  <i>“Okay! I’ll get him now. Good luck!” he smirked as he shut his eyes slowly.</i>
</p><p>
  <i>I bit my lip and I couldn’t help the butterflies in my stomach at the idea that Kevin feels the same way, or at least Patricia said I might find that he does. I was so incredibly nervous, but it was a good nervous. I’m going to tell Kevin I love him and pray that he loves me back. </i>
</p><p>
  <i>Kevin (or at least I’m pretty sure it was Kevin) opened his eyes and immediately adjusted how he was sitting. Barry had his legs crossed and was leaning back against the couch with the wine glass in his hand, while Kevin preferred not to cross his legs and he put the wine glass on the coffee table and took off Barry’s beanie. He looked over at me and his eyes lit up when he saw me.</i>
</p><p>
  <i>“Hey, handsome.” I smiled as I put my wine glass on the table.</i>
</p><p>
  <i>“Hey beautiful.” he blushed and smiled. I couldn’t help but smile wider when he did. His smile was infectious. “How are you?”</i>
</p><p>
  <i>“I’m doing pretty great, what about you?” I asked with a grin.</i>
</p><p>
  <i>“I’m doing great now that I'm with you.” he smiled. “Wow, that was really corny.” he shook his head.</i>
</p><p>
  <i>I smiled and took his hand. “Corny, but cute.” I couldn’t help the nervous and excited butterflies that still flew around in my stomach and I took a deep breath. “I have to tell you something.” </i>
</p><p>
  <i>“Oh yeah?” he asked as he looked at me curiously. I could tell he was hesitant and a little confused. </i>
</p><p>
  <i>I smiled and decided just to come right out with it and say it. “I love you, Kevin.” </i>
</p><p>
  <i>He smiled, seeming shocked at first. “I love you too, Sophie,” he said without hesitation.</i>
</p><p>
  <i>“Oh gosh, really?” I asked, I have no idea why I sounded so shocked.</i>
</p><p>
  <i>“Really,” he affirmed, moving my hair behind my ear and cupping my cheek before pecking my lips lightly. I smiled, not being able to help the small shriek that left my throat and I immediately blushed because I was embarrassed for it. “You know I think I’ve loved you since the second I saw you. I never believed that there could be a thing as love at first sight, but you’re living proof of it.”</i>
</p><p>
  <i>“Really, Kevin? That’s so sweet.” I beamed, holding his hand tight as I stroked his knuckle with my thumb. “I’m pretty sure I felt the same way, honestly. You were like a magnet that was pulling me in. I mean, I tried for about a year, clearly, you were special to me.” I laughed as I thought about it.</i>
</p><p>
  <i>“Yeah, I’m sorry about that.” he winced, seeming a little regretful and embarrassed. </i>
</p><p>
  <i>“It’s okay, I understand. Things work out the way they’re meant to at the times they’re meant to.” I replied, believing every word of it. That’s just what I believed.</i>
</p><p>
  <i>“Like we were meant to be.” he mused, smiling as he kissed my knuckle.</i>
</p><p>
  <i>“Kevin Crumb, the man I love, we are definitely meant to be. No doubt in my mind.” I announced firmly, smiling at him.</i>
</p><p>
  <i>Kevin smiled back. “Sophie Fletcher, the love of my life, we are meant to be.” he proclaimed as he kissed my knuckle again. I wasn’t able to hold back the huge smile on my face as the words ‘love of my life’ came out of his mouth. It felt so real and so meant to be. I believed every word. “To infinity?” he asked shyly.</i>
</p><p>
  <i>I raised my brows, confused at first, then I realized what he was saying. I’ve made him watch Toy Story a million times in the past 2 months, I’m sure he’s so sick of it. Buzz lightyear is and always will be my favorite toy in the world and that’s my favorite line in the movie, so to hear him say that because he knew it would resonate with me was honestly the cutest thing ever. “And beyond, my love.” I smiled as I cupped his face and kissed his lips lightly.</i>
</p><p>
  <i>He smiled into the kiss and didn’t hesitate to kiss back softly. </i>
</p><p>
  <i>It didn’t take long before the kiss got more heated. I nipped on his bottom lip and he opened his mouth just enough for me to slip my tongue in and swirl it around his. His hands tangled in my hair as he grabbed the back of my neck and pulled me closer. I moved so my body was pressed against his, all while deepening the kiss. I ran my nails over his head, his hair prickling my fingertips ever so slightly, sending a chill down my spine. For some reason, I loved the feeling of his buzzed hair on my hands, it was almost soothing.</i>
</p><p>
  <i>We’ve made out a couple of times since we had sex the first time but that was only because we were strained for time when we did. This time we weren’t and I was hoping we could have sex again. I was already feeling a bit turned on, which I usually got whenever we made out, I was just able to hold myself back a bit the other times knowing we didn’t have time to do anything more. Plus, he moved his hands to my hips and pulled my body flush against his, which was as close as I could get to him in the position we were in. </i>
</p><p>
  <i>I moved my hand down his chest and palmed him through his pants, making it clear at that moment what I was thinking about and hoping for. My movements earned a groan from him as we kissed fervently. He seemed to be enjoying it by the way he bucked his hips up against my hand and I could feel him grow harder and harder as I palmed him through his pants.</i>
</p><p>
  <i>He surprised me when he pulled back. “Are you sure you want to do this again?” he asked, catching me off guard. I wasn’t really used to people asking me that if I’m honest. It was kind of refreshing to hear actually, but I was a bit nervous after he said that, wondering if maybe he didn't want to do it again.</i>
</p><p>
  <i>“Yeah, why wouldn’t I?” I asked, worried I had taken it too far and he wasn’t ready for this again. </i>
</p><p>
  <i>“I-I don’t know, I just don’t want you to think that’s all I want now…” he hesitated. </i>
</p><p>
  <i>I couldn’t help but smile at what he said. “Baby, it’s been a week and a half… besides, I love being this close to you and being intimate with you, I’ll gladly do it as much as you want.” I cupped his face as he nodded. I smiled more, taking that as my cue to kiss him passionately.</i>
</p><p>
  <i>One thing led to another and we ended up in my bedroom and on my bed. We were completely naked and still making out, as we had been the whole time our clothes were coming off. I could tell he was still a bit nervous even though this would be our second time. I still didn’t want to rush him. I wanted him to be as comfortable as possible.</i>
</p><p>
  <i>Besides, I didn’t mind the foreplay part (with him anyway) and I loved the feeling of his lips on mine and his tongue swirling around mine, as well as the feeling of his hands all over my body. It sent a shiver down my spine and a tingle between my legs, I was no doubt dripping wet before his fingertips even reached my pussy. </i>
</p><p>
  <i>His finger slipped in between my folds and I moaned. “Fuck you’re so wet,” he groaned against my lips, causing my pussy to ache even more. He rarely cursed, but god was it really hot when he did, especially while we were about to have sex.</i>
</p><p>
  <i>“Only for you baby,” I said breathlessly as I ran my hands down his chest and firmly grabbed his cock. He groaned as a response and I started to stroke him gently. As I did this, he rubbed tight circles on my clit. “Wanna feel your fingers baby,” I mumbled against his lips. </i>
</p><p>
  <i>In response, he teased my entrance with his fingers and I whimpered as I continued to stroke his cock. I bucked my hips and whined his name before he smirked and chuckled. I rolled my eyes but got distracted when he slipped his finger inside of me. </i>
</p><p>
  <i>At first, he started off moving his finger in and out of me and I begged him to add another finger. When he did, he curled them to hit my g-spot perfectly, which surprised me at first. I don’t know why but I wasn’t really expecting him to know how to finger a girl really well, but god was he amazing at it. </i>
</p><p>
  <i>My hand slowed on his cock before I let go completely without fully meaning to because my thoughts were more focused on how much pleasure he was giving me right now. As good as his fingers felt, I remembered that his cock felt so much better. “Mmm baby,” I mumbled as I grabbed his hand and pulled it out of me. I could tell he was a bit worried at first, but then I brought his fingers to my lips and sucked off the cum on his fingers. His eyes widened as he watched me and I smirked as I dropped his hand. “Can I ride you baby?” I asked, raising my brows. </i>
</p><p>
  <i>He hesitated for a second, biting his lip. At first, I worried maybe it was too much too fast or something? I thought that maybe we should just stick to missionary with him on top for now? I didn’t want to push him too far. But then he nodded and I smiled, pecking his lips lightly before he rolled off of me and lay on the bed next to me. </i>
</p><p>
  <i>I reached into my nightstand drawer and pulled out a condom, ripping it open with my teeth and sliding it over his hard cock. I straddled him, hovering over his cock. I could tell he was a little bit nervous by the way he bit his lip and looked up at me. Grabbing his cock gently, I slowly sunk down on it, moaning as it stretched out my tight pussy. I grabbed onto his shoulders, squeezing them gently as I gave myself time to adjust. As I did this, Kevin groaned and tilted his head back, his eyes shut for a second.</i>
</p><p>
  <i>My eyes widened and I became worried he was switching into another alter. “Kevin…” I hesitated, praying that it wasn’t the case. He opened his eyes and nodded.</i>
</p><p>
  <i>“Still me,” he assured me. I let out a sigh of relief and nodded before I slowly started to buck my hips against his cock. He seemed to enjoy the feeling because he was groaning and he even jerked his hips up to meet mine at one point, but I don’t know if he meant to because he didn’t do it again. It felt really good regardless.</i>
</p><p>
  <i>Taking Kevin’s hands, I put them on my hips as I started to bounce on top of him. I moaned loudly at the feeling of his cock inside of me as well as his grip tightening on my waist. He was groaning and he tried to watch what I was doing, but his head flew back against the pillow as he groaned and I hoped that meant that it felt as good for him as it did for me. </i>
</p><p>
  <i>As I continued to bounce on top of him for a few minutes, I was grabbing the headboard instead of his shoulders because I didn’t want to risk squeezing his shoulders too hard. I’ve accidentally broken skin before with other people and I wasn’t quite sure if he’d be into that. </i>
</p><p>
  <i>“Fuck, I’m close angel.” Kevin groaned as he gripped onto my hips harder. I’m not going to lie, I loved it, the harder he gripped onto me, the more pleasure I felt. Not to mention the fact that he just called me 'angel' for the first time as I was on top of him literally made my pussy throb even more as I clenched around him and moaned.</i>
</p><p>
  <i>“Want you to cum for me baby.” I moaned, continuing my pace even though I was getting a bit tired and the feeling of my orgasm started to build up, I knew it was only a matter of time before I couldn’t continue my pace well. </i>
</p><p>
  <i>Kevin must have noticed this because his grip on my waist tightened as he took control more and began to thrust up into me. I moaned his name loudly as I felt the pressure in my stomach build from the combination of me starting to rub my clit and him fucking up into me like that. It was just about enough to send me over the edge, but I wanted to wait for him to cum first.</i>
</p><p>
  <i>I clenched around him, hoping that would coax an orgasm out of him and it seemed to work because his thrusts got sloppier. His breathing picked up and his grip on my hips loosened a bit as he threw his head back and groaned. “Fuck Sophie!” </i>
</p><p>
  <i>Him groaning my name like that, combined with me rubbing my clit, the one last deep thrust that he took, as well as the feeling of the condom filling up with his warm cum sent me over the edge in seconds. “Oh fuck, Kevin!” I moaned his name as I came hard around his cock. My walls clenched around him hard and my hips bucked against his. I was breathing heavily as I came down from my high and noticed he was looking up at me. His chest was rising and falling fast and he had a small smile on his face. I couldn’t help but smile back as I flattened my palms against his chest.</i>
</p><p>
  <i>“What?” I asked shyly.</i>
</p><p>
  <i>“Nothing, you’re just so beautiful,” he replied, reaching up and pushing my hair behind my ear. I couldn’t help but blush and I leaned down to peck his lips before I got off of him. I whimpered softly at the feeling of emptiness as I got off the bed.</i>
</p><p>
  <i>“I’ll be right back,” I told him before rushing to the bathroom. I quickly went to the bathroom before coming back to my bed. I didn't want to spend any more time out of his arms.</i>
</p><p>
  <i>Kevin was just laying back down and he no longer had his condom on, so I figured he threw it out. When he got comfortable, he opened his arms wide for me and I smiled, getting into bed next to him. My body molded into his as I clung to him, my leg falling in between his. </i>
</p><p>
  <i>“I’ve never actually done that before… like, had a girl on top…” he admitted shyly.</i>
</p><p>
  <i>“Was it good?” I asked, worried for a second that maybe he didn’t like it or something.</i>
</p><p>
  <i>“Amazing actually.” he grinned, running his fingers through my slightly sweaty hair.</i>
</p><p>
  <i>“We’ll have to do it more often then.” I giggled as I kissed his cheek.</i>
</p><p>
  <i>Kevin chuckled and I could have sworn I saw him blush. “We will.” he nodded. I smiled and started to draw circles on his chest. “You looked really hot… on top of me… I think I came faster because of it...”</i>
</p><p>
  <i>“I’m glad I could make you feel good.” I smiled and pecked his lips. It was completely the truth, I just want him to have a pleasurable experience. I almost would rather him have an orgasm over me; I’d give him one over me having one any day. It made me so happy to see him happy.</i>
</p><p>
  <i>“God, what did I do to deserve you?” he asked, looked down into my eyes as he played with the ends of my hair that rested on my bareback.</i>
</p><p>
  <i>I smiled as I got lost in his eyes. “You deserve the world, Kevin.” I cupped his face and kissed his cheek.</i>
</p><p>
  <i>“You are my world… and that scares me a little bit,” he admitted, looking away slightly. I could tell he was nervous.</i>
</p><p>
  <i>“I don’t want you to be scared with me, Kevin. I won’t hurt you.” I turned his face towards mine and looked into his eyes as I ran my thumb along his cheek to soothe him. </i>
</p><p>
  <i>“I believe you.”</i>
</p><p>
  <i>I smiled. “Good baby.” I looked at him as he smiled at me and I couldn’t help but smile wider. I thought more about what he said and my smile fell slightly. “I’m a little scared too to be perfectly honest…”</i>
</p><p>
  <i>“About what?” he asked curiously.</i>
</p><p>
  <i>“Losing you,” I admitted, tracing his lips with my thumb. “I just love you so much. I’ve never felt this way before about anyone.”</i>
</p><p>
  <i>Kevin took my hand in his and looked at me, straight into my eyes. “You’re not going to lose me. I’m not going anywhere. I promise.”</i>
</p><p>
  <i>I couldn’t help but smile at that, I believed every word he said. There was no doubt in my mind that it was a promise he couldn’t keep. “I love you more than anything.” I smiled at him.</i>
</p><p>
  <i>“I love you too, more than anything.” he smiled back, leaning in to kiss my lips lightly. </i>
</p><p>
  <i>At that moment, I chose to do something I’ve never done before. I chose to trust my heart over my head. And I’ve never felt happier in my life. </i>
</p>
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